Too Soon
by blobby01
Summary: Edward and Bella are finally married, and so begins married life. But what happens when Edwards self control slips, and Bella is changed when shes not ready for it. **contains sexual content**
1. Chapter 1

Jacob. I had never considered him a rival for Bella's affection. It would appear, now, that I had won. Not that Bella was a trophy to be won. She meant far more to me then that. She was my life, and she was now my wife. I often caught myself thinking of him, well that's not entirely true. It was more that, I wondered if she thought of him. I couldn't read her mind, so never knew. I was, however, grateful to Jacob for helping her pick up the pieces of her life, I had ever so carelessly made fall apart. I would never forgive my self for leaving her, I would spend the rest of eternity trying to make it up to her.

_What am I doing? Its my honeymoon for gods sake. I shouldn't be thinking like this!_

We had arrived at Isle Esme early this morning. I was preparing Bella brunch, while she freshened up in the bathroom. She was going to call Charlie also, let him know we had arrived safely. I firmly believed he found it incredibly difficult to let go of his daughter. They loved each other immensely, even if it was rarely said out loud.

Our wedding and reception last night, was amazing. She had looked absolutely exquisite, as she walked down the aisle towards me. I could picture it all clearly in my head. Bella's face, she had a long neck., a graceful jaw line, full mouth, blushing cheeks, and wide set chocolate brown eyes. Her features were combined in graceful harmony. I knew, without a doubt, that I had never seen a more beautiful woman. Her dress, strapless, clung tightly to the top half her body. It was decorated beautifully in swarovski crystals in a intricate design. Her pale arms were long and graceful. The bottom half of her dress flowed as she moved, gracefully, down the aisle towards me.

_She's magnificent._

I still strove to think of words to describe her in that moment. The total effect was…dazzling. Bella was gorgeous, stunning, magnificent.

As I thought of her long graceful arms, her eyes, her bare shoulders I could feel myself becoming aroused, but then it came upon of me with an insistent agonizing demand. I wanted her with an urgency I had never known before.

I was tempted to rush into the bathroom and touch her. My hands itched to caress her perfect, warm, soft body. I wanted to discover her secret places; to explore, to taste, to give my Bella pleasure.

_Focus Edward!!!_

I desperately, tried to reign myself in. Trying to control my urges. The closer our wedding date approached, the more aroused I became, and so easily. I had hidden it well from Bella, or so I think so. Now we were married, and I had promised we would try and make love. I shuddered at the thought, from absolute fear and eagerness. I wanted this, so badly. I wanted to be able to make love to my wife, but I was terrified. I feared I would lose control and bite her, or be so in control of not biting her, I crushed her instead. These thoughts tortured me continually. I knew the countdown was now on. It would be only hours away before we would try, for the first time, to make love.

_Make love. Bella's body moving with mine, as one._

I shuddered, as the current of electricity I felt at that thought, rippled through my body.

I had been so wrapped in my thoughts, I hadn't heard Bella walk into the kitchen. When I looked up. Time slowed. She was wearing a navy blue, cotton strapless sundress. My favourite color on her was blue. It made her soft skin the appearance of fresh cream. I could see 2 black straps on her shoulders, that weren't part of the sundress. Must be a swim suit under the dress. Looks like we will be going swimming today. The smell of the strawberry shampoo she used lingered in her hair, it was still dame from her shower. Pushing her hair out her face, sat a pair of sunglasses. She depicted the summer look flawlessly.

"Edward?", shed obviously caught me gazing at her.

"I…uh…was just getting your brunch ready, Bella, it shouldn't be to much longer." I picked up the tea towel that was on the bench, twisting to my left, and then to my right, feeling momentarily confused. If it would have been possible for me to be flustered, I would have been. I hadn't felt like this since I was a new born. I had practiced smooth self control until it was an art. For the first time, in the longest time I felt…human.

I heard Bella pull out a bar stool, and take a seat.

"Smells delicious, Edward." Bella commented, she loved my cooking. Food Network hadn't failed me yet.

_You smell delicious._

_Focus Edward!_

I flicked her omelets onto her plate, and pulled some bacon, hash brown and sausage out the oven onto her plate also, then handed her the plate over the bench.

"Enjoy," I gave her the plate, grinning my dazzling smile. I heard her heartbeat quicken instantly.

"Edward," she said playfully. "If you expect me to eat this, then no dazzling me, its not fair."

"Sorry, my love. You need to eat, but I don't think I can wipe this smile off my face. Im just so happy."

And I was, and I wasn't joking about the smile. It may well be plastered to my face for some time to come.

She giggled, as she raised one eyebrow to me, reached over and grabbed the fork out of my hand, and began to eat her breakfast.

"So," I started, "Did your ring Charlie?"

She looked at me, nodding. Her moth full of food. She held her fork, making circles in the air with it. Like that somehow was going to speed up her chewing.

"Yes, yes I did. He stayed at your parents for awhile after we left. I think he had a good time. Alice gave him instructions on texting, so he's going to try his hand at that." She was smiling to herself. I didn't need to read her mind to see what she was thinking. Charlie, with his step by step instructions on texting would be quite amusing to watch.

"Jacob texted, that he's sorry," she watched my carefully, looking for a reaction. There was none, the smile stayed on my face.

_Dog._

_I shouldn't be like this. She did, after all, marry me._

_Be nice._

"You forgave him?" knowing full well, she would, and already had.

"Yeah," she looked down at her food, now playing with it with her fork, looking suddenly tense. I didn't want to argue about this, not today.

"I knew you would, he is, after all, your best friend. it's a good quality to have when you know when you need to apologize. Even if it is through a text message."

_A even better quality would be for him to find someone else to play fetch with._

She quickly relaxed, and went back to eating, while watching me intently while I tided the kitchen. I could feel her eyes watching me. I couldn't take it anymore, I was beginning to get more and more frustrated wondering what she was thinking

"What are you thinking, Bella?" I asked, exasperated.

"That you're the most, amazing, most wonderful, most handsome, most…well your just everything I could ever ask for in a husband. Your perfect…….not to mention sexy, and you can cook," she smiled as she lifted her empty plate to show she had eaten everything.

Just like that, the urge was back.

I walked around the bench to her, her eyes never leaving mine. When I leaned closer, I could smell her warm skin. I was ready to take her, without even asking, if I could have been able. But I sensed, even though she wanted this as much as I did. She wasn't someone who could be taken easily, she had her idea on how things would happen. I was sure of it.

I leaned into kiss her, but was stopped by the animal magnetism in her gaze. I looked into her deep brown eyes and felt drawn in deeper. Her heart was pounding, her face grew warm, her body quivered, bringing a strong scent of her arousal to my attention. I was going to explode.

_What is wrong with me?_

I tore my eyes away from hers, looking down, only to notice my own arousal making itself known. Her eyes had followed mine, and she was now staring at my erection straining against my pants. I felt an overpowering urge to take her hand, to make her touch me, there.

_No, not now. Not like this._

I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and tried to still my shuddering.

It was going to be a very long day.


	2. Brunch BPOV

**BPOV**

**We had arrived here, at Isle Esme, almost 50 minutes earlier. Isle Esme was beautiful, with crystal clear waters and sugary white sand. The single storied cottage, and a rather sizeable cottage at that, sat on a ridge overlooking the ocean. Edward had explained it had been built from the ruins of an 18th**** century building. It appeared to be designed to fit in with the landscape, private and secluded, a place where my vampires could have their chance to play in the sun like normal holiday makers. Edward had mentioned the weather was beautiful and sunny here almost every day; the temperature very rarely fell below 75. It was perfect. We were in our own piece of sunny paradise.**

**Edward had given me the grand tour when we arrived. Inside was decorated elegantly but still simple Light wooden floors, set against cream color walls. Open planned, and spacious, and French doors that stretched along the length of the front of the cottage facing the beach. Brightly colored paintings, among other forms of art, were scattered through out the house, giving it just the right amount of color it needed. The kitchen had all the modern appliances. Edward had arranged getting them set up, after he decided we would be coming here for our honeymoon. This cottage had it all, even a library, games room, plasma television in the lounge, sound system, a spa, why on earth anyone would need a spa when the ocean was there to swim in mystified me. He had pointed out the bedrooms that belonged to the others, but I had no interest in looking at their rooms. Not so much from a lack of interest. It was more that it wasn't my business for me to look at their rooms, and I felt I was intruding on their private getaway if I did. Not that any of them would have minded. I was however, nervous and excited as he opened up the door to where we would be sleeping, well, he wouldn't be sleeping.**

**In the room, was a large, sturdy, high four posted bed. I couldn't help but gape at the bed. I didn't have any idea how he would of moved it into this room. Did they build the house around it? I would have to ask him later. It had to be super king size, and it was so high off the ground I was sure I would have to jump to get on it….but I loved it. I wanted to run and leap up on it, the minute I saw it. The room had French doors that opened up to what looked like a grove of mango trees. The furniture in the room was simple, a set of drawers, a fireplace, a small plasma TV hanging on the wall, a sound system, and a shelf full of CDS. It was just so, Edward.**

**Edward directed me to the ensuite so I could freshen up, while he, being the good husband that he was, cooked me brunch.**

**I eyed the bed as soon as he left the room. The blankets and pillows, all white. I wonder if he chose white on purpose, as a sign of our purity and love. I touched the bed and had to smile to myself. **

_**Wouldn't be so pure after tonight. **_

**I technically hadn't had my wedding night. Id spent the majority of my wedding night asleep, on a plane, then on a boat. Not quite what I had in mind. I wasn't upset though, tonight would be the night. I knew Edward wanted this as much as I did, although he thought he hid it well from me. I remember every time he pulled away, that feeling of rejection that would rush over me. I couldn't help but feel hurt, even though I knew perfectly well his reasons. But one time after a make out session in my room, he pulled away like normal and I just happened to look down, waiting for the sting of rejection to hit me, again. It was then I saw it, his erection, outlined quite clearly in his pants. I had then felt an overpowering urge to touch, to reach for it. But I didn't, instead I let myself feel greatly satisfied that I did that to him, and he did indeed want me. The feeling of rejection never bothered me again.**

**My mind drifted with thoughts of his body. I had to close my eyes, breathe in deeply and try to still my quaking. **

_**So excited!!**_

_**I need a cold shower!**_

**I quickly went into the ensuite to shower, before I self-combusted. I had to keep these urges at bay until this evening.**

*******

**After my shower, I opened the large suitcase Alice had packed me. There were many pieces of skimpy lingerie, to terrifying for me to even consider looking at….yet. At least seven bikinis. Sundresses, shorts, singlets, everything you could need to wear in paradise. Alice had even packed sunglasses. I wasn't surprised; of course Alice would remember accessories. I picked a plain black bikini, pulled on a blue sundress. Edward always complimented how nice I looked when I wore blue. **

**I went to my handbag sitting on the drawer, pulled my phone and charger from the bag and plugged it into the wall. I turned the phone on, and then went to brush my wet hair. I hadn't quite got my brush out my toiletries bag when the phone beeped.**

_**Alice?**_

**Before I got back to the phone, I had 3 texts. One each from, Jacob, Alice and Charlie.**

_**Charlie texted? No way!**_

**I opened Charlie's text first.**

**C: Am I doing this right? If so, ring me.**

**I chuckled to myself. It was a miracle he had texted. I wanted to know how long it took him to figure it out. I would ring Charlie shortly, and ask.**

**The next text from Alice.**

**A: Wear the lingerie, he will love it **** xxoo**

**Mmm yeah. Don't think Ill reply to that just yet. She'll be on my case about it, until I do.**

**The last text, from Jacob I couldn't open straight away, I was too nervous to read this text. We didn't leave each other on exactly the best of terms. He was outraged, to say the least, at the thought of me having a 'real honeymoon.' I didn't want to get upset, not today,**

_**Just read the dam text Bella.**_

**I took a deep breath and opened the text.**

**J: Sorry for how I acted at the wedding. I was just shocked. Forgive me?**

**Relief. **

**I sighed quietly; of course I would forgive him. I always did, I always had, and I always would. **

**B: All is forgiven, no harm done.**

**I had no sooner sent that text, I got a reply.**

**J: Thanks. Friends again?**

**B: Of course. Always. **

**J: What you doing?**

**B: Texting you dummy. I have to ring Charlie, and then go eat. Will text you again when I have time.**

**J: Ok. Be safe Bells. Text when you can. **

**B: You be safe to Jake. Bye.**

**I looked at the phone for a few minutes. I knew he didn't mean, be safe, don't get mugged. It was be safe, don't let your husband crush you like a bag of chips. Jacob was my best friend, who loved me and just happened to be, mortal enemy to my husband. Could my life be any more fucked up?? **

_**It probably could be.**_

**I was selfish. I wanted both Edward and Jacob in my life. I wanted them to get along. I wanted Jacob not to be **_**in**_** love me. I wanted him to just be my best friend, and nothing more. Edward had always been well-mannered in the presence of Jacob, while Jacob could act like a complete arse. Complete opposites, in every sense of the word, and me, stuck in the middle. I made my choice, even when Edward had left me. It was Edward I wanted. It always was. **

**I swallowed the lump in my throat.**

_**I will NOT cry today!**_

**I deleted the texts off the phone, and rang Charlie's number.**

"**Bells!" he shouted into the phone.**

"**Gezz dad! Don't need to yell. I can hear you just fine," I almost yelled back at him.**

"**Sorry Bells, thought the reception might be dodgy," he replied apologetically.**

"**Well, I arrived here safe and sound dad. Just thought Id ring and let you know. Hey, you sent a text. How long did it take for you to figure that out dad?" I was curious to know. The only piece of technology I knew Charlie could work was the remote. **

"**Alice gave me step by step instructions," he laughed. "It's a page long, but they are easy enough instructions to follow. So you got my text then, I take it?" he was sounding pleased with himself.**

"**Yep I sure did, did you have a nice time last night dad? Did you leave after I left?" I was curious to know if had indeed left, or decided to hang out with the vampire in-laws for a while.**

"**I stayed for quite a while Bells…….,"**

_**Whys he gone quiet?**_

_**Did they tell him? **_

_**Did he suspect?**_

"**Dad?" I was, to some extent, nervous to what he would say next.**

"**That whole family loves you Bells. I…..I couldn't of asked for a better family for my….for you to marry into. Despite my earlier……… misgivings about Edward……Im……uh……..very happy you chose each other."**

"**Ugh Dad!" I blinked back the tears, that threatened to trickle down my cheeks. "Thanks, that really means a lot me," and I meant it. However, I wondered if he's say the same if he knew they were vampires, and I would soon be one also. I didn't think so. **

"**I just wanted to tell you that Bells."**

"**Ok," was my great response. **

"**Anyway," Charlie continued, "I should be letting you go, and you can text me now you know. I even know how to open a text to read it," He laughed out loud, I laughed with him.**

"**Ok dad, Ill give you a text sometime. Love you dad, bye"**

"**Bye Bells," and pushed the end button. **

**I put the phone back on the ground, to let it continue to charge. Quickly ran the brush through my hair, put a pair of sunglasses on my head and headed towards the kitchen. **

**When I walked into the kitchen, Edward seemed to be…daydreaming. Even with his keen sense of hearing, I was positive he didn't even hear me walk into the kitchen area. I noticed he was still in his clothes from last night. Hell be changing out of those shortly. It would be silly to wear long pants and dress shirt on the beach. I cleared my throat. He didn't react. I knew if I stood here long enough, he'd notice me eventually.**

**When he finally turned and looked me, I got lost in his eyes. They smoldered, and sent a warm shiver throughout my body. I took a deep breath.**

"**Edward?"**

"**I…uh…was just getting your brunch ready, Bella, it shouldn't be to much longer." He picked up the tea towel that was on the bench, twisting to his left, then to the right. **

_**What is he doing?**_

**He seemed dazed, and I liked it. It made me feel like he was at my level. I liked the feeling that I could produce that kind of reaction in him. It made him seem……less god like, possibly, almost human.**

**I walked over to the kitchen bar, pulled out a bar stool, and took a seat.**

"**Smells delicious, Edward," and it did. For someone who thought food was vile and repulsive, he did an amazing job cooking. Everything he cooked was to perfection, and I loved eating it. Today was omelets, bacon, hash brown and sausages. I was going to make short work of this meal. I was starving.**

"**Enjoy," he said to me, as he handed me my plate of food. He had the most beautiful smile across his face. I would swear, his eyes twinkled.**

_**He is so gorgeous.**_

"**Edward," I said teasingly. "If you expect me to eat this, then no dazzling me, it's not fair," and it wasn't fair. I couldn't eat, if my heart was going to pound its way out of my chest.**

"**Sorry, my love. You need to eat, but I don't think I can wipe this smile off my face. Im just so happy."**

**I giggled, I couldn't say anything. I believe I knew exactly how he was feeling. Realizing I had no fork, I reached over and grabbed the fork out of his hand, and began to eat. **

"**So," he started, "Did your ring Charlie?"**

**I looked at him, nodding. My mouth full of food. **

_**He just had to ask when my mouth was full didn't he.**_

**I held my fork, making circles in the air with it. Trying to chew my food faster.**

"**Yes, yes I did. He stayed at your parents for awhile after we left. I think he had a good time. Alice gave him instructions on texting, so he's going to try his hand at that." I smiled at the thought of Charlie with his instructions on texting, probably taking them everywhere he goes until he gets the hang of it. **

_**Should I tell Edward about Jacob?**_

_**No.**_

_**Yes.**_

_**Does no good to hide things.**_

"**Jacob texted, that he's sorry," I watched his face carefully, looking for a reaction. Any kind of reaction. **

"**You forgave him?" he asked….or was that a statement. I wasn't sure. His tone was…flat. I tensed; maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. He was still smiling, but that twinkle I thought that was in his eyes before, had now gone.**

"**Yeah," I looked down at my food. I didn't want to look at him, afraid of what emotion I might see play across his face. I didn't want to upset him about this, not today. **

"**I knew you would, he is, after all, your best friend. It's a good quality to have when you know you need to apologize. Even if it is through a text message." **

_**Oh thank god.**_

**I quickly relaxed, and went back to eating. I looked at Edward closely while he tided the kitchen. Of course he'd understand my friendship with Jacob. Im such a dork sometimes. I should have more faith in Edward, he's perfect. Im so lucky to have him. **

"**What are you thinking, Bella?" Edward asked, sounding frustrated.**

"**That you're the most, amazing, most wonderful, most handsome, most…well you're just everything I could ever ask for in a husband. Your perfect…….not to mention sexy, and you can cook," I smiled at him, as I showed him my empty plate. Id finished everything.**

**I put the plate down on the bench, as he walked around the bench to me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he leaned closer, I could smell the cool sweet scent of his breath. He could have taken me then, on the kitchen bar, without warning and I wouldn't have cared. It wasn't how I had hoped out first time would go, but I could compromise.**

**I wanted him so badly; my body literally ached for him. Months and months of pent up sexual tension was not good for my system. I looked into his golden eyes, I could get lost in his gaze. My heart was pounding, and I felt myself starting to blush, my body shuddered, bringing a sudden dampness between my legs. **

_**Im going to self combust!**_

**Suddenly, he tore his eyes away from mine, he was looking down. My eyes fell to his erection bulging against the zip of his pants. I felt a surge of warmth spread through out my body. I bit down my lip, trying to tell my hands not to move, not to reach for him, for that part of him. Not yet. **

_**Control yourself Bella. You have to. You can't rush him. Breathe!**_

**I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and tried to still my shuddering.**

**It was going to be a very long day.**


	3. Bestfriends? JPOV

JPOV - Anger Management

I sat at the front of our home on the deck stairs. Id been sitting here for hours. Mindlessly rocking backwards and forwards, trying to make some sense in my mind of what was going on in this insane world I lived in. I was a werewolf, and the woman I loved, who was a normal, mortal, human, had today, married a vampire and was now on her honeymoon.

Disgusting.

I didn't know what was worse. The fact she was planning on doing it with a vampire or that I was uncontrollably in love with the girl who wanted to do the vampire.

Id almost lost it at the wedding. I didn't want to ruin her big day, but when she said she was going to have a real honeymoon……I wanted to kill the piece of shit bloodsucker, right there and then. The thought of Bella, with that creep was repulsive. It was just sick.

I never got the chance to say goodbye to her properly, and I regretted that now. At the time, I just had to get as faraway from that wedding as I could. I phased the moment I was out of her sight, and ran back to La Push, and here I am, still sitting in the same spot I was a few hours ago.

Billy had already come home from the wedding reception, and went to bed. He had patted me on the shoulder and told me it was nice to have me home again. That was Billy, simple and to the point.

I buried my face in my hands. Rubbing my face, like I was somehow massaging it. Hoping it would rub the pain away. It didn't work.

I heard Quil approaching before I saw him emerge from the forest. I was curious as to what he was doing, I was sure he wasn't meant to be on patrol tonight. He phased back to human form, and made his way towards me, then sat down next to me on the steps.

"What's up?" I asked him inquisitively, I knew something was up. You just don't call in and see a friend for a catch up at 2 in the morning.

"I wanted to talk to you Jake," he eyed me cautiously. I suppose he knew I wasn't in the best of moods.

"About?"

"About….Bella," it was almost whisper.

"Ugh…Quil, I really…"

He cut me off.

"Just listen to me for a minute Jake. I really want to say this," he fidgeted uncomfortably. I didn't know if I liked where this conversation was heading, but I suppose I should hear him out.

I sighed heavily and nodded.

"Try and keep an open mind, ok Jake?"

He didn't give me a chance to answer.

"Well, I know you probably don't want to hear this"

_Ah shit, here we go._

"But I really think you need to hear it. I know you love Bella, but….she's made her choice. Bella is a pretty cool chick, and it would…suck if we stopped talking to her now. I just think that it's up to you now, to make a decision." He turned to look at me, making sure I was listening to what he was saying.

I narrowed my eyes at him, I was paying attention. "Carry on." I was curious to what else he had to say.

"Well, I think you have to decide whether you love her enough, to let her go, so you can be happy and she can be happy. Or…"

"Or what?" I asked. I didn't think I had it in me, to let Bella go, even though she was with someone else I still wanted her in my life to. Did that make me crazy?

_Possibly._

"Or… you love her enough, and accept her as what she will always be to you……... Your best friend", he stated the last part of his advice, rather matter of factly. I looked at him silently, my mind processing the thoughts of what he had just said to me.

"Also," he began.

"There's more?" I asked in disbelief.

He nodded, and continued, "I know how much you love Bella, but she isn't your soul mate Jake. If she truly was, the one, then you would have imprinted on her. It would have happened long ago. But you haven't, and all it means is that you haven't met the person you're meant to be with yet. Would you want Bella to have chosen you, only to imprint on someone else in years to come. You wouldn't want Bella to feel like….Leah. I think Bella was only meant to be your best friend, and nothing more."

"Wow you right Quil"

"I am?" he sounded shocked.

"Yeah, I didn't want to hear that." I said flatly.

"Jake?!" I could hear the frustration in his tone. I should give the guy a break. He was only trying to help.

"Sorry Quil. Im just trying to get my mind around everything. What you said….actually makes a lot of sense," It did. "Give me a little time to think over what you said ok. You're a good friend. I know your just trying to help………..and I do appreciate it."

He smiled. I know he hoped I would come around and see things from his point of view. "That's good Jake, good to hear." He was clearly proud of himself for being brave enough to talk to me. Without saying another word he walked away from the house, phased and headed back into the darkness of the forest. No doubt sharing with the pack the conversation he had just had with me. I suddenly wondered if that was Quils own advice, or the packs, and Quil had drawn the short straw when it came to who would tell me.

I decided to go inside. I found myself a bag of potato chips, ate the entire bag in record time. I found my sisters secret stash of soda, I drunk the whole bottle and put the empty bottle back where I found it. She'll be pissed when she finds that. I then walked to my room and collapsed down onto my bed, my feet hanging off the end. I stared at the ceiling. Sleep never came, my mind was to busy thinking.

_Could Quil be right?_

Did I have to get over this being in love with Bella? Could I even do that? Did I even know how to? I didn't think I could. But did I really have a choice? I already knew I couldn't live my life and not be her friend, therefore I really only had one option. I would have to settle for being her friend, her best friend. If that's all I could get, then that's what I will have. Mr. bloodsucker wouldn't interfere with our friendship. Not if this is what Bella wanted to. No doubt it would drive Cullen nuts, but he wouldn't dream to complain to Bella. Mr. uptight and perfect would never want Bella to feel torn between him and our friendship.

_I could really enjoy being best friends with Bella._

_Annoying Cullen could be considered a bonus._

My thoughts drifted to who I would eventually imprint on. I obviously hadn't met her yet. Pity Bella doesn't have a twin.

I rolled over to reach my beside drawer, I dug around in the top drawer looking for my cell phone. It hadn't got much use since I became a wolf. Instantaneous communication when phased was one of the perks. I turned it on to find it was still fully charged from the last time I had used it, which I didn't even remember when that was. I would need to find the charger tomorrow.

If I was going to do the whole, be best friends, with Bella I needed to start by saying sorry. I searched through the contacts of the phone, and then to send message.

_What to write? What to write?_

J: Sorry for being a jerk

_Nah that's no good, being a jerk is normal for me._

_Delete that text._

J: Sorry for how I acted at the wedding. I was just shocked. Forgive me?

_Sounds good and its honest._

I pushed send. I knew she wouldn't answer for quite sometime. She was on her vulgar honeymoon after all.

I put the phone down on the dresser, and slowly drifted into a deep sleep. I awoke in the morning to a loud beeping.

_What the?_

I looked around the room, my eyes finding the phone. Only one person would be texting me. I sat up quickly grabbing the phone. It didn't occur to me, that she might not have forgiven me while I quickly opened the text.

B: All is forgiven, no harm done.

I replied immediately. Desperate to make sure our friendship was intact before she was distracted by Dickward and didn't have time to reply.

J: Thanks. Friends again?

B: Of course. Always.

Relief. _Always_. It was just what I wanted to know. I could do this. I could be best friends with her, and it was what she wanted to.

J: What you doing?

_What kind of lame text is that? Do I really want to know what she is doing?_

_No I don't think I do._

The phone beeped. Please don't be a text saying you just finished having amazing sex with the leech.

B: Texting you dummy. I have to ring Charlie, and then go eat. Will text you again when I have time.

I had to laugh. Well, she was honest.

J: Ok. Be safe Bells. Text when you can.

I wanted to add to that text, if he hurts you Ill kill him. But I didn't think that would work well with the whole being friend's idea.

B: You be safe to Jake. Bye.

I looked at the phone for a few minutes. I knew she would text me again. That's what friends do, right? It may not be today, but I would hear from her. I loved Bella, she was my best friend. Who cares if her husband is supposed to be my mortal enemy? I could let that slide if it meant being able to be in Bella's life forever. Quite simple really, well, I thought so.


	4. The Beach EPOV

EPOV - Day out.

After tidying the breakfast dishes, Bella had decided she wanted to take a walk around the island, go swimming and have a picnic. I told her I would pack the picnic basket while she appeared to be enjoying the view from the front lawn.

"Ill just go and quickly change," I called to Bella, "I don't want to wear these clothes down on the beach."

"Ok" she called, not bothering to look back at me.

I was still in the clothes from the wedding reception. They were still clean, sitting on a plane doesn't make you dirty, but they weren't beach style. Bella looked the part; I wanted to look the part to. I hoped Bella didn't think I looked silly. I had asked Alice to buy me some beach clothes; she had practically packed my suitcase for me. I didn't mind. She seemed to know what suited me. I would walk around in the same clothes for days if it wasn't for her, or wear clothes that didn't suit the temperature. I grabbed the first pair of board shorts that were in the suitcase. Plain black, they come down to almost my knees and sat low on my hips, revealing the faint line of hair that went from my navel to…well, to down below.

_Am I wearing them right?_

I honestly didn't know.

_Were they supposed to sit this low? _

Well they are now.

I shut the suit case and made my way out the house, towards Bella. Bella was still standing, facing away from me. I picked up the picnic basket and towels as I walked past the kitchen bar.

As I walked into the sun, I sparkled like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface of my skin. There really wasn't any other word for it.

"Ready to go?" I asked her.

"Sure am," she turned around and looked at me. I noticed her sunglasses fall out her hand.

"What happened…..I mean, where's your shirt?" she gasped.

"What do you mean?" Isn't it normal for men to go topless at the beach?

"Your shirt…..your not wearing one…..I've never seen you…not wear a shirt," she wheezed her words out, and I heard her heart pounding furiously. My confusion gave way to smile.

_She likes what she sees._

I shrugged. "I didn't think I needed one here."

Bella reached for me, running her finger along my jaw, down my neck, across my shoulders, and then to my chest, where she rested her hand for a moment. I was motionless. I couldn't pull away. I could still felt the light tracery of her fingertips with every nerve. I didn't think Bella had intended any kind of erotic implication, just curiosity. She had never seen me with no shirt on before. Unfortunately, my response was in the form of an unrelenting, straining, throbbing erection. It was so immediate, so powerful, that it caught me by surprise.

I moved to reach for her hand, to hold it to my face, to direct her fingers to run over my body again. But with an effort, she pulled away, picked up her glasses and put them on. I suddenly decided I didn't like her eyes being covered. I already couldn't read her mind, and covering her eyes made reading her expressions that much more difficult to read.

I was…distressed, at the fact she had pulled away, and at myself, for my almost violent reaction to her gentle touch. I couldn't keep my eyes away from her. She was looking out at the ocean again, she seemed so shy.

_She is so beautiful. I want that woman. I want her so much._

I shook my head vigorously, in an attempt to shake the feelings of desire. I couldn't stand just looking at her.

"Come on Bella," I grabbed her hand as I walked past her, "Let me show you around Isle Esme."

She smiled, while entwining her fingers with mine. "That sounds great."

We walked quietly down the sandy track leading from the cottage, down to the water. Bella was barefoot, and headed toward the crystal clear water, wading her feet in the small waves that crashed against the sand. She was smiling widely to herself. Before I even had a chance to ask what she was thinking she spoke.

"This is perfect Edward, to be with you, like this", she lifted our hands that were entwined, "to be away from everyone, for it to be, just us. It's amazing."

I kissed her hand lightly. "I agree."

"This island is beautiful; it looks like something from a postcard"

It did.

Isle Esme had all the natural wonders of a tropical island. Colorful underwater world, islets, lagoons, atolls, beaches, cliffs, jungle, corals, a waterfall. Our island also came complete with a World War II Japanese shipwreck which sunk a few miles out from shore. Emmett had found it, while trying to find a shark to wrestle.

"What do you and you family do when you come here?" she asked, nervously. "I mean…it's not like you can have BBQ and drinks at the beach. I hope you don't mind me asking. Im just curious."

She looked at me, but I couldn't see her eyes for those dam sunglasses. I wish shed take them off, but I guess they helped with the glare that was coming from my gleaming body in the sun.

"Of course I don't mind you asking. Bella, my family, is your family now. Please remember that." I couldn't emphasis enough to her, how true that was. She nodded, waiting for me to answer her question.

"We don't really come here often as a family. It's more of a retreat, for when we want time alone."

"Have you come here often? To be alone?"

"No, never. If I wanted to be alone I could go anywhere. What I meant was, alone time for couples, if you get my drift," I hinted.

"Oh! Right right," she clearly understood what I meant, and the blush that filled her face was beautiful.

"We only ever came here as a family, if Alice decided we were going to have a summer holiday, or something like that."

"Alice," she chuckled. Obviously not surprised at the admission that Alice would plan our holidays to.

"It's nice to come here as a family, we can be in the sun and not worry about being seen. We have the games room to entertain ourselves in the evening. We have some pretty intense game nights. You'll see one day. During the day we go swimming. Emmett, Jasper and I usually have swimming competitions. Do time trials swimming around the island, that kind of thing."

She laughed out loud. "That doesn't surprise me, what else do you do?" she was smiling from ear to ear now. She truly was the epitome of loveliness when she smiled like that. We continued walking along the beach, talking about other activities my family and I participated in while staying here.

"We like to play beach volley ball to, but the ball seldom lasts a few rounds, we haven't found a suitable replacement for a ball as of yet. We have jet skis and kayaks here to. There are a lot of things to do here. Are you worried you will get bored here Bella?"

She stopped walking and looked at me, well, I assume she was. She was yet to take her glasses off!

"I would never get bored with you, Edward. Never." she said in such a sincere and honest way, I felt like an idiot for even asking her that.

We had started to walk again, and had been walking for quite some time. The sun was high in the sky now. It must be hot now. It felt all the same to me. I imagined that Bella was enjoying the heat. She was looking for the perfect spot for our picnic. Every time I suggested a place, she had said no. If I carried her, we would find a place sooner, and then Bella could relax sooner.

"Do you want me to carry you?" I asked her.

"No, why would I want that?" she asked in disbelief.

"Oh….I just thought you might be tired from walking."

"Im fine Edward. Im enjoying this ok."

"Ok, but if you feel like getting carried you just let me know." I was serious. I would carry her if she wanted.

She laughed quietly to herself. "Not going to happen Edward"

"What about over there then? For a picnic?" I pointed to an area of Beach where a large log must have come a shore when the ocean was rough. Anyone would think it was strategically placed there, as it sat parallel to the ocean, under a palm tree.

Bella looked to where I was pointing, the corners of her mouth twitched. "Yeah, that'll be a great spot. Good spotting there", she pulled my hand and we headed towards the log. As it turned out, the log had been placed there. 'Emmett was here' had been scratched into the side of the log, so I had no doubt he had placed it here last time he visited Isle Esme.

"Would you like to eat something now?" I asked Bella, as I placed the picnic basket on the sand.

"Not yet," she replied. "Im dying to get in that water and go for a swim first, besides it's probably better to swim before I eat."

I nodded. She had a good point.

I placed the towels on the ground, along side the picnic basket, deciding I would swim with Bella.

"Ill join you in the water, Bella," I turned to face her, just as she was pulling the sundress off and kicking it away with her feet.

There she stood before me, in nothing but a plain black bikini. I had never seen her in so little clothing. I was glad we were on a secluded island, with no other men around. I could not have dealt with the range of comments she would have got from deluded males that may have ogled her. I was selfish, and didn't want to share her, and I certainly didn't want anyone else seeing how insanely hot she looked in a bikini.

Im positive I gasped in open mouthed wonder when my eyes fell down her body. Her skin, the color of fresh cream was a stark contrast to the black bikini. Not that I could talk. Here I was pale and in black myself. Bella's legs were perfectly molded. From this angle I could see her round, firm bottom. Her breasts were ample, with jutting nipples.

_Jesus Christ!_

Without a doubt, I knew I had never seen a woman with a more beautifully sculptured body, but there was more then her body. From the beginning I always thought she was beautiful, but Id never seen her like this, in the full light of the day.

She was truly amazing.

Next thing I knew a pair of sunglasses hit me in the chest.'

"Checking me out were you Mr. Cullen?" she teased.

"Yes, yes I was. Your beautiful my love. I've never seen you….like this" waving my hand at her body. Referring to her lack of clothing. Her heart beat quickened, and I saw her bite down on her lower lip. I saw her blush, but then almost as suddenly as she blushed her demeanor changed. She looked me up and down, walked up to me, and whispered in my ear, "Well If you behave yourself, you'll be seeing me in even less later on."

She then turned away and walked down to the ocean, leaving me frozen in place. If you could choke on lust and desire, I would be choking to death right now. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. I was dazed. When she had waded into the water up to her bottom, she turned around and called out to me.

"Are you coming in, or not?" she was still grinning from ear to ear.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. So I just nodded. But my feet wouldn't move.

_Pull it together Edward!! Left foot, right foot. Walk walk walk._

"Bit stunned are we?" Bella called. Clearly enjoying the reaction she got out of me.

_That little minx._

I smiled at her, and before she could blink I was in front of her in the water. I was grinning wildly as I inched close to her.

"Edward," she said warily, backing away from me. "Don't you even think about ….."

Before she could even finish her sentence, I had gently lifted her up and dumped her in the water. She came up spluttering. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You cheeky son of a bitch"

I stopped laughing. I had never heard her cuss before in my life, let alone have it directed at me. Was she mad at me? I didn't mean to make her mad at me. Bella then started to laugh, and jumped on to me, trying to pull me into the water. I was like a jungle gym as she climbed all over me trying to make me lose my balance. I couldn't help but laugh at her, she didn't have a chance of moving me but she tried anyway. I held her gently and fell into the water with her.

We spent hours in the water, skipping lunch altogether. I wasn't sure that was such a wise idea for Bella. She claimed she would eat when she was hungry, so I let it go. We spent our time playing silly games with each other in the water, or just sitting in the shallow talking. She had mentioned it would be nice to go diving. We had no scuba gear back at the house; my family had no need for it, so I promised I would arrange to get some so we could go diving together.

The sun was low in the sky when Bella decided she had had enough of swimming.

"I've got old lady hands" she laughed, showing me her fingers, being in the water for so long had given them a wrinkly appearance.

"Don't worry my love, when you're like me, you won't have that problem."

She grinned. "No wrinkles, ever. That's got to be a perk."

I handed her her towel to dry herself off, and then I saw it as she said "ah ouch, dam."

Her back, shoulders, arms… all over were an angry red, and it filled me with shame.

_Look at that? What is that?_

_What kind of husband am I? _

"Bella, what's wrong, what is that?" I touched her arm. Her skin felt like it was on fire. I was horrified. Did something bite her in the water that I was unaware of.

"Its sunburn," she sulked. "I can't believe I didn't think to put any sun block on. Im sure I have a bottle of it in my toiletry bag."

"It's what? What the hell is sunburn?" I asked irritated. Irritated I didn't know what it was, so couldn't prevent it.

"It's from being in the sun to long, with no sun block on. It's my fault Edward, you weren't to know. I didn't even think of it. So used to being in rainy forks, it didn't even occur to me that I would need sun block here. Im suck a dork" she was eyeing her sunburn on her shoulder, grimacing at the look of it.

I still felt terrible. "Im sorry Bella, I should have known."

She shot me a sharp look. "Don't apologize Edward, it's not your fault."

I didn't say anything more, but still felt I was to blame.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella"

"Could you carry me back to the house please? I can already feel the pain of the sunburn starting to kick in, and I don't want to be in the sun any longer then I have to be now. I think your cold skin might help to"

"Of course my love"

I would do anything for her, and I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. First day of her honeymoon and I let her get burnt, from the dam sun of all things. I was disappointed in myself. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I quickly picked up the picnic basket, and towels, then swept her smoothly up into my arms and carried her quickly back to the house.


	5. Sunburn BPOV

It was painful, and I was such an idiot. I felt the sunburn the second the towel touched my back down at the beach. It was going to be sore and uncomfortable for a few days. I hadn't been sun burnt in years. Forks didn't get a lot of sun, and even when it did, it wasn't enough to burn me. My skin was now a fiery red, and I knew Edward was blaming him self. How he managed to blame this on himself, I didn't know. How was a vampire supposed to know that his pale wife could get sun burnt?

I asked him to carry me back to the house. I didn't really want to be carried back like the typical damsel in distress, but I didn't want to walk back in the sun, with a towel wrapped around me that would rub constantly again my burning skin. Edward would carry me everywhere if I wanted him to, or if I let him I should actually say. But I liked walking, I enjoyed human speed. I often wondered if after we changed if he would still just walk with me, or would it be inhuman speed every where we went. I had to admit, I felt a bit sad at that thought.

"What do you need Bella?" Edward asked, interrupting my train of thought. He was worried, and even though he was trying to hide it from me, he was doing a terrible job at it. He looked as if he half expected me to self combust on the spot.

We were in the master bedroom. Edward was holding my toiletry bag in his hand. He looked a little frightened at what he thought he might find in the bag. I walked over and took if off him.

"Im sure I have some aloe vera gel in here, somewhere." I said, as I opened the bag to look inside.

My stomach rumbled.

"Shall I make you a sandwich my love. I heard that," he chuckled.

"Make that two, please. Im actually really hungry now that you mention it," I didn't look up as I spoke to him, emptying the contents of my toiletry bag out on to the drawer.

"Would you prefer I cooked you dinner? It's almost that time of day anyway."

I hadn't even noticed the time. No wonder I was hungry. Dinner would be a good choice.

"Yes please Edward. That'd be great. I might take a cool shower, and then Ill get you to rub some aloe vera on my back, ok?" I showed him the bottle, and he nodded then left the room.

I found a half full bottle of sun block and left that on the drawer. It was still good to use. The use by date wasn't until next year. Im so glad it was in my toiletry bag. It appeared that Alice hadn't thought to pack any sun block either, not that I blamed her. I was thankful to have the sun block I had. I could imagine Edward trying to keep me out of the sun for the rest of our time here, if I had none at all, and that would have definitely ruined my time here.

I strolled into the ensuite, and turned the shower on. I stuck my hand in the running water, wanting to get the temperature just right. When I decided the water was perfect for my hot skin, I removed my bikini slowly, trying not to let it rub against my sunburn. I turned to look at myself in the floor length mirror in the bathroom. I gasped. I was naked, and looked ridiculous. Against my red skin, it looked like I was wearing a white see through bikini.

_Ugh! Not how I want to look on the night I plan to make love to my husband. This is beyond embarrassing._

I rolled my eyes at myself, and entered under the cool water of the shower. I knew I was going to have to tough it out. If I couldn't handle the heat of sunburn, how was I going to handle the burning pain of changing into a vampire? I remembered back to when James bit me; I already had a faint idea of what to expect. This sunburn was a walk in the park compared to how the venom burned me.

_But it hurts!!_

I knew I would have to act like it barely bothered me. If Edward, for even a second, thought that I couldn't take the pain of being burnt on the outside of my body, he would definitely think I wouldn't be able to handle the pain of changing. He already was filled with self hatred for what he was, and changing me wasn't something he looked upon lightly. Despite the fact that it was what I wanted, he still thought it made him selfish. I didn't understand how it could be selfish, if it was my idea. I wished there was some way he didn't need to see me go through the 3 days it took to change. I already knew it would be like torture to him, to not be able to do anything, but watch me change.

I knew I would have to say goodbye to Charlie, to Angela….to Jacob? I would like to think our friendship could withstand me changing; I couldn't bare the thought of not having him as my friend. Saying goodbye to Charlie and Renee would be tough. I would be giving up a lot of things, but I was ready for it.

_Well I think Im ready for it._

I spent another 15 minutes, letting the cool water run over my sunburn. I heard my stomach growl loudly, and decided I better hurry up and get out the shower, before my stomach started to eat itself!

I dried myself off slowly. The rubbing of the towel against my skin was painful, so I opted to pat myself dry. I looked at myself in the mirror again and cringed at the sight of myself. I wasn't feeling very sexy at all. I walked over to my suitcase to find something to wear. I would have been happy to walk around naked at this point; having nothing rub against my sunburn would be preferable. I pulled many things out of the suitcase saying 'no' to anything that would hurt me. Near the bottom of the suitcase I pulled out a silk knee length dark purple robe. It was perfect.

_Thank you Alice!!_

I held the robe out in front of me and grinned wickedly to myself. I slip my arms through the sleeve and tied it securely in front. I didn't want it falling open in front of Edward, at the wrong time. I decided I would stay naked underneath the robe. It suited me and my sunburn just fine, and it would be a great way to start the evening with Edward. I quickly ran a brush through my hair, checked myself in the mirror and then made my way out to the kitchen.


	6. So much for the aloe EPOV

EPOV

I still felt awful. My Bella was burnt. She had told me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I didn't know she would get sun burnt, but I felt like I should have known. I felt frustrated. Frustrated because I couldn't make the pain go away. However I knew I had to get a grip, if I could barely contain my anger at myself over her being sun burnt, how would I cope with the pain she would endure when she would be changed. I had to relax, be realistic about the situation, and stop being so anxious about everything that included Bella. It was very difficult for me to think that the sunburn was not such a big deal. It was hard to believe that, when I still felt it was my fault. A vicious cycle I desperately needed to break away from.

When Bella emerged from the bedroom, she wore a silky dark purple dressing gown. I immediately looked down to her breasts, and noticed I could see her nipples jutting through the silky material.

_My god. She's naked under that!!_

I swallowed loudly. Trying to hide the gravelly sound in my voice. "Would you like your dinner, outside Bella? The suns not far from setting and we can sit at the outside table?"

She looked outside, and then to the kitchen bar. "Ill just sit here," she decided, as she pulled out a bar stool to sit at the kitchen bar. "Can you please put some aloe vera on my back after tea please?" she asked.

"Of course, my love, do you want me to do it now?" I asked.

"No no, eat first!" she chuckled.

I placed her dinner in front of her, and watched her eat. I still didnt know how she managed to eat that horrible stuff. I couldnt rmember much of my human life, and I definetly couldnt remember eating. It smelled disgusting to me. I eyed the sunburn on her arm.

"So what do you want to do for the next few days? Since you won't be able to go out in the sun until you are healed." I asked her curiously.

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward" she almost sounded like she was growling at me. "I've got sun block, I can go outside. Ill just stick to the shade for the next few days. It'll be fine"

"No," I said sternly. "You need to stay inside until you are healed."

She dropped her fork, and looked me in the eye. "Im not going to stay inside Edward. End of story. I will walk around under an umbrella for the next few days if I have to, but I will not stay inside." She picked her fork back up, and continued to eat her meal.

I went to open my mouth to say something, but she beat me to it.

"Don't say another word, Im telling you now. Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Again"

_Let it go Edward. Let it go…_

"Ok," I sighed. She won this round.

I sat silently, watching her while she ate. I would miss cooking for her, I decided. But the pros of having her with me, like me, far outweighed the cons of not changing her. It was right to change her, it had to be. It would be the best way for us to be together, and I may finally get over this whole being far too protective of her, and start treating her like an equal. It was what she wanted, and what she deserved. I couldn't wait to spend forever with her. I loved her, so much.

I hadn't noticed she had finished eating, until I saw her hop down off the bar stool and take the plate to the sink. She was awfully quiet, and I wad curious to know what she was thinking. Bella poured herself a drink. She was looking out the window, and I could tell something was ticking over in that mind of hers. I would of asked what she was thinking, but I was to busy looking at her breasts through her robe. I felt like a dirty old man, even though she was my beautiful wife. She looked over at me as she put her cup down.

"Come on then," she said. "You can do my back now."

"Ok then" and I silently followed her to the room.

The sun hadn't quite set yet, and the light still filtered into my room, giving the room a faint orange glow. Bella grabbed the bottle of Aloe Vera gel, climbed on the bed and motioned me to get on the bed behind her. I sat behind her, squeezing the gel into my hand. Ghastly smelling stuff, i didnt know how this was going to make her skin any bettr, but I guess Bella knew what she was doing.

"Where do you want it?" I asked.

_Stupid question. On her sunburn of course._

"On my back and shoulders please." and without any warning, she slid the top half of her robe off her shoulders and let it fall around her waist. Her hair that was hanging down her back, she pulled out of the way with her hand.

I gasped, and sucked in loud breath. Agony and Desire together. Her back and shoulders were ablaze, yet I couldn't help but feel the sudden urge to touch her, to kiss her shoulder, and neck. I couldn't believe how turned on I felt. She was topless for the first time with me, and she wasn't even facing me!!!

I started to gently rub the aloe onto her burning hot shoulder; she flinched when I touched her.

"Bella?" I didnt want to be hurting her.

"Its fine Edward, the cold is, actually, really nice. It just gave me fright, that's all" I noticed her breathing was uneven.

I continued to rub aloe vera on her back, along her shoulders, down her arms. I heard her heart pick up its pace, and her breathing becoming jagged, as was mine. I was going crazy. Touching her like this was so sensual. I didn't want to ruin this by saying something out of place, or grabbing at her like an adolescent boy.

_Play it cool. Control the situation. _

_I can do it._

"Bella" I breathed.

"Mmm""

"Turn around towards me, slowly" I instructed. I thought if I controlled the situation, I could control myself better.

She did as I asked, and was in front of me on the bed sitting on her knees. The dressing gown still hung down over her waist. I kept my eyes focused on her face.

_Do not look at her breasts….yet. You will lose control if you do._

I reached for her hands, my eyes never leaving hers, opened her palms and kissed them lightly. I moved my hands up her arms, then bent close and kissed her neck. She was tense, with anticipation as well as fear, waiting to see what I would do next.

I moved closer and kissed her neck again, while slowly and purposely slipped my hand down to cup one breast. Her head rolled back and she groaned ever so softly. I kissed her neck, and flicked my tongue along her throat. I had the sudden urge to bite her, to throw her down on the bed and have my wicked way with her. I froze, trying to compose myself. I thought about how her warm breast felt in my hand, and the urge to bite disappeared as quickly as it had entered my mind.

I moved my lips to her ear, and then along her jaw, and then back to her mouth. I opened her mouth and moved my tongue between her lips, and when they parted, I exerted gentle pressure to open them more. Bella tasted so sweet.

I sat back and looked at her. She opened her eyes and looked straight into my eyes.

"I love you," she whispered.

"As I love you" I whispered back.

I finally, looked down at her upright breasts with her perfect nipples and felt my cock throb.

_Careful. Stay in control._

I kissed her shoulders with an open mouth and moving tongue and felt her quiver. I caressed her arms. I noticed she hadn't made an attempt to touch or hold me yet. I decided she had made the decision to let me take the lead, letting me decide how much I could take.

I ran my hands along her spine, while I flicked my tongue down her neck and then chest. I circled my tongue around her nipple, felt her nipple contract, and sucked it gently. She gasped but didn't pull away from me.

_I must be doing it right._

I suckled her other breast, then ran my tongue back up to her mouth and as I kissed her, I gently pushed her back onto the bed. She opened her eyes to look at me; her eyes were dilated and luminous. I couldn't look away.

My cock strained to burst free.

_Not yet._

I bent over her, kissed her again and felt her open her mouth, to taste my tongue with hers. I caressed her breast and ran my tongue down her neck and shoulder. I found her nipple again, sucking harder but still gentle as I heard her moan softly. I could feel my own breathing becoming heavier and fasting, as feelings of pleasure coursed through my body.

I had wanted Bella; I had wanted this, for such a long time. I wanted to take her this instance.

_Go easy, don't scare her. It's her first time too. You've got all night. Wait until you know she's ready, and you're ready_.

I caressed her bare skin below her breasts down to her waist. I reached inside her robe, not yet willing to take it right off and rested my hand on her stomach. I felt her tense under my touch, and then relax. I reached lower for the inside of her thigh, brushing lightly over that area. I felt her spread her legs, as I moved my hand along her inner thigh. I cupped my hand over how mound and felt a sudden damp warmth. The answering jolt in my cock sent waves of electricity through me. I almost lost when I felt another surge of wetness in my hand.

_Get your hand out of there, before you lose it!_

I remove my hand from her robe, and untied it and pulled it away from her, letting it fall to the ground. I stood up from the bed, and she smiled at me. Her eyes full of trust and longing. I untied the string on my shorts and lowered them. She gasped when she saw my upright swollen cock and I swear I saw a hint of fear in her eyes.

I climbed back onto the bed beside her and waited, giving her time. Giving me time. Hey eyes were drawn to my throbbing cock. I slowly, took her hand and led her to touch me, and felt a surge. A surge of love, pleasure, and that feeling of wanting to bite her.

_Control yourself Edward!_

She moved my cock eagerly in her hand, and I suddenly smelt the smell of her arousal, it was intoxicating.

I stretched out beside her on the bed and kissed her gently. She opened her eyes and looked into mine. I knew she could see my concern, and my hunger for her. I was lost in her eyes; she had some unnamable irresistible force over me. I was drawn to her. I knew she wanted me, but she feared the pain.

_I will be gentle. There will be no pain._

She reached for me, closed her eyes, opened her mouth and pressed her self closer to me.

I kissed my wife, exploring her mouth. I slowly worked my way down her neck, and throat, kissing, moving my tongue, and gently caressing her stomach and thighs. I tortured her a little, coming close to her sensitive nipple, but backing off, until she grabbed me by the hair and moved my mouth to it. A warm pleasurable sensation coursed through my body, as she run her hand through my hair and down my back. I moved my hand to the warm slit between her things and found the small, hot, throbbing centre of pleasure. A cry escaped her lips, and I nearly came undone.

_Focus. You can't lose control._

I suckled and gently bit her nipple, as I moved my finger.

"Edward, mmmmmmmmmm" she moaned and moved her hips.

My mouth left her nipple, and circled her stomach and navel. When I reached her wet centre, I looked up at her. Her breathing was rough; her back arched and tensed with anticipation. Bella was ready, but was I ready?

_Slowly._

I kissed the skin about her slit, and inched lower. I had no idea what I was doing, but the smell of her arousal was begging me to lick it. Bella was quivering, when my tongue found the top of her narrow slot, she sprang up with a cry, and then lay back moaning.

My cock was throbbing, eagerly, impatiently as I slid down between her legs. I spread her warm wet folds and took a long, loving taste.

"Fuck" I grunted into her wetness. I felt the need to slam her up against the wall, and bury myself in her. I was losing myself in the exquisite sensations coursing through my body. I didnt care that I had just cussed in front of her, and she seemed oblivious to my bad language.

_No! Focus. Control._

My tongue explored every ridge, every fold.

I had to concentrate on Bella, to keep my own demanding need in check. I found her small but direct centre of delight, and moved it firmly and rapidly with my tongue. I feared, I had almost reached the limit of my self control she groaned and quivered with an ecstasy she hadn't known before. But I carried on, and with two longer fingers, I entered her moist passage and applied pressure up, from inside.

Suddenly she arched her back and cried out, and I tasted a new wetness. Bella's hands clenched and unclenched convulsively in unconscious beckoning motions that matched her ragged breathing.

"Edward" she cried "Oh, Edward, I need….need you…need something…"

I was on my knees in less then a second, gritting my teeth in an effort to hold back, trying to enter her carefully.

"Im trying…to be careful" I said, almost painfully.

"It……won't hurt me, Edward……"

It was true! I had managed to enter her without hurting her. She arched up to meet me, and I let myself enter. I felt the barrier, pressed slowly further, and broke through.

Bella gasped. I stopped.

"Don't stop Edward. You being cold……..makes it feel….not sore at all" she whispered.

I pressed farther, and I felt myself being drawn in. felt her warm moist depths opening up to me until she embraced me fully. I drew back and plunged deeply into her again. Bella wrapped her legs around me, pulling me to her. I withdrew again and as I penetrated her again I felt her wondourous hot throbbing passage caress my full length. It was more then I could bear. I dived in again, and again trying to restrain myself. I wanted to give into my need, to lose myself in everything I was feeling. I wanted to bite her. I barely had control.

"Bella…………Bella……………Bella!" I cried out.

The tension was reaching its peak. I could feel it gathering inside me. I drew back again. Bella raised up to me, every nerve and muscle taut. I pushed into her again, taking pleasure in of the sheer sensual pleasure of burying my full, hard cock completely in her eager warmth.

"Edward!" she called out.

Giving one last thrust into her, I filled her giving a throaty cry of pleasure, and then collapsed on her, controlling my weight so I didn't crush her.

I didn't remember biting or ripping the pillow apart, but I saw feathers scattered all over the bed. I didn't care at this moment. I could only hear mine and Bella's breathing, and I didn't want to move. I could not move. We had given all to each other, every fiber we had to this shared experience. I didn't want this feeling to end, though I knew it was over.

This was my awakening. I had never known the pleasures a woman could give me, and now that I had it once, I could not be without feeling that again. No matter what the cost. The sooner she was changed, the better. Being with Bella was better then my wildest fantasy.

"I must be getting heavy" I said, as I pulled myself off her, rolling to the side.

"No" Bella spoke softly. "You're not heavy at all. I don't think I ever want to move."

I could tell by looking at Bella, she was dreamily content and completely relaxed. I stroked her arms lightly, both of us laying in silence.

"Edward," she said after awhile, "how did you know what to do? I didn't know those feeling were in me, let alone in you"

If I could have blushed, I would have.

"Uh Emmett and Jasper had a long talk with me about it. They gave me a fair idea on what to do, and they said once I got started it would come naturally"

She nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"Sleep my Bella"

Even though it was still early, the sun had just set, Bella drifted into a deep sleep. I lay next to her for quite some time, letting my eyes get a fill of her glorious naked body.

Later in the night, I tried to pick as many feathers I could up from the bed without disturbing Bella. I grabbed the bottle of aloe vera gel and placed in back on the draw. I never did finish rubbing it on her body.

_So much for the aloe._


	7. Thoughts on change BPOV & EPOV

And I thought I was dazzled by his smile. If that was being dazzled, then Im super super dazzled now. I felt like I was in a dream like state. I didn't want to move. I didn't care if I didn't move again. Edward had just made love to me, and it was AMAZING. I was intoxicated by his scent, his body, his eyes, his hands, and his mouth. The whole experience was more then I expected. My dreams were never this good.

This wasn't how I planned it would happen, but when I was eating dinner I thought it was the perfect way to entice Edward to the bedroom. It was easier then I thought when I told him it was time to put the aloe vera on me. I didn't want to say, come on Edward lets go make love. I just wanted it to happen, no talking about it, no real planning. I wanted it to be natural, I wanted it to be good for Edward, and it was. I let him take control, knowing it would be easier for him that way.

He was perfect. He was amazing…..I knew he wouldn't hurt me. When he pulled his shorts off, I was more afraid of being hurt from that, then anything else. He was quite large, I thought. I hadn't seen anyone else's penis to compare it, but it seemed rather sizeable to me. I kind of freaked out when I saw it, but I don't think I showed it.

I let myself have flashbacks of us making love….I couldn't believe how he made me feel. He knew my body better then I did. How did he know what to do?

We had been lying silently together for quite sometime, but I had to ask. Did he read it in a book? Did he experiment? Watch porno?

"Edward, how did you know what to do? I didn't know those feeling were in me, let alone in you" I asked.

He took a second before answering.

"Uh Emmett and Jasper had a long talk with me about it. They gave me a fair idea on what to do, and they said once I got started it would come naturally"

I nodded. Not really knowing what to say. How true that was. He was a natural at it. I could imagine Emmett and Jasper giving him advice. Especially Emmett, he'd be giving Edward all the dirty stuff to, I bet. Jasper seemed the type of guy who would make love, while Emmett seemed the type of guy that would just….fuck.

I didn't realize I was dozing off, but I fell asleep.

*

When I awoke, it was still dark, and I now had a blanket on me.

"Edward?" I spoke softly.

"Im here," he said cuddling up behind me.

His cold body, felt cool and soothing against my sun burnt skin.

"What time is it?" I asked. Im sure I fell asleep when it was still early.

"About 4.30 in the morning" he answered, "Sleep Bella"

"I don't think I can, I think Im wide awake" I spoke as I turned to face him. I could only make out his shape in the dark. I was wide awake to, the chances of going back to sleep for next to minimal.

He chuckled. "That's what happens when you fall asleep to early"

"Well, that's what happens, when your husband puts you in a dream like state, by making mind-blowing love to his wife" I retorted. I was grinning from ear to ear.

"It was good, wasn't it" he said cheekily.

"It most definitely was" I sighed. "Better then I had ever imagined."

"Same goes for me." he agreed.

"Told you, you wouldn't hurt me" I said sternly. I knew he wouldn't. He just worried too much. I knew we wouldn't have to wait until I was changed to share this experience with each other.

_Change._

Would it be the same for us if we changed? Would he still feel the same to me? Or I to him? Would I even want him after changing, being a newborn I was supposedly going to be a bit crazy and obsessed with thirst for quite some time. I didn't like that thought. I didn't want to give up this feeling of pleasure he gave me, not yet, not anytime soon. This wasn't a good feeling to be having, I have to change….

"Bella?"

"Uh, what?" I didn't even hear what he said.

"What are you thinking?"

I didn't lie……well not entirely.

"About me changing"

"Are you worried about the pain?" he asked softly.

"No" I wasn't lying. I wasn't worried about the pain. Not at the moment.

"Then what? Bella, please tell me."

This is where I didnt exactly tell the truth.

"That when Im like you, we wont be laying here talking at night, well be doing other things" and I leant in to kiss him.

He kissed me back, clearly believing what I had just told him.

I couldn't and wouldn't dare tell him I was suddenly not sure about changing. It would break his heart, and if I told him I had doubts it would be harder to convince him to do it when I was ready. My stupid hormones were trying to rule my mind, and it felt like they were winning.

EPOV

I heard Bella's breathing change, and knew she would be awake soon. I had put her under the blanket earlier, it didn't feel right to leave her sprawled out naked on the bed. Although I was quite content to watch her lay there all night like that. I found myself picking up the blanket for a little peek at her body every now and then; feeling like a complete pervert but still peeked anyway.

"Edward?" she spoke softly.

"Im here," I said as I cuddled up behind her. Her body felt hot against mine, and I fought the urge to crush her into me even more.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"About 4.30 in the morning" I answered, "Sleep Bella" she still had a few more hours asleep ahead of her.

"I don't think I can, I think Im wide awake" she turned to face me as spoke. In the dark I could still see her perfectly. She was so pretty with her messy bed hair.

I chuckled at the look of her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"That's what happens when you fall asleep to early"

"Well, that's what happens, when your husband puts you in a dream like state, by making mind-blowing love to his wife" she said back. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"It was good, wasn't it" I said cheekily. It was. I loved it. I loved the feeling of us being as one. I loved being inside her. I loved it all.

"It most definitely was" she sighed. "Better then I had ever imagined."

"Same goes for me." I agreed.

"Told you, you wouldn't hurt me" she said sternly. I hadn't, but I could have. I remembered the urge of wanting to bite her. I was only held back by a thin line of control, plus I had bit a pillow and I had no recollection of doing it. That wasn't a good sign of my control, not a good sign at all. Bella seemed oblivious. I don't think she even noticed.

_Change_.

Would it be the same for us if we changed?

It would be better. It would be perfect. Then I could bite her all I wanted…….

"It'll be great when you're changed" I said confidently. But she didn't answer.

I don't think she even heard me.

"Bella?"

"Uh, what?"

No, she didn't even hear what I said. I was suddenly curious to what she was thinking. Possibly the same as me, how wonderful it would be when she was changed. We could enjoy each others bodies more fully.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"About me changing" she said.

"Are you worried about the pain?" I asked softly. I didn't want her to be afraid of the pain.

"No" she sounded sincere, so I didn't question her about it.

"Then what? Bella, please tell me." I was dying to know. Could she possibly be thinking the same thing as me?

_Please be thinking the same as me..._

"That when Im like you, we wont be laying here talking at night, well be doing other things" and she leant in to kiss me.

I kissed her back, thrilled at the words she had just spoke to me.

For the second time that night, I made slow and careful love to my wife.

I tore a chunk out the corner of the mattress this time, and once again I had no recollection of doing it.

Not good.

With a bit of work, I managed to make it fit back into the mattress, so Bella wouldn't notice.

I would need to hunt, before we made love again.


	8. Texting BPOV & EPOV

Twelve times.

That's how many times Edward and I had made love in the last 4 days. Every time more amazing then the time before. I was pleasantly surprised that he had intiated more then half of our times together, it seemed like he couldn't get enough, and I loved it. I always thought he'd been worried about hurting me, but that thought seemed long forgotten. He must have realized he could control himself.

He had planned to go hunting on the 2nd day here, but couldn't bring himself to leave me here. He had to return to the mainland to hunt, so here I was on our 5th day here, trying to force him down the track to the boat so he would go hunt. His eyes were black, so he was very thirsty, but I still had trouble convincing him to leave.

"Ill be fine Edward, I can cook my own dinner, and Ill watch a movie. Give Alice a call or something. Ill see you in the morning. Please go, you're thirsty, I can tell." I told him, trying to push him towards the track that went down to the beach. I don't know why I bothered trying to push him; I couldn't move him an inch.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked, almost seriously.

"Yes," I said. "Yes I am, now go" I repeated, and then pointed out towards the ocean.

"I don't need to go"

Did he just whine like a baby?

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Edward, you need to go. I can tell. Please go" I said softly.

"Ill miss you" he said

"And Ill miss you, Ill go to sleep and you'll be back before morning. Now go"

He sighed, and kissed me on the lips.

"Ok, Im going, Im going. I will be here before you wake up" he said looking into my eyes, and then turned and left.

I watched him get the boat going, and I watched him sail away. He would have swum to the mainland, but I wanted him to bring a few things back so he had to take the boat.

I walked back into the house. I didn't really feel like cooking, so made me a couple of pop tarts for my dinner. Edward wouldn't be thrilled to see me eating this for dinner, but he wasn't here was he. I grinned to myself as I ate the fourth pop tart. I decided Id have a shower, and then watch a DVD. I was just putting my robe on over my pajamas when I saw my phone, still sitting on the drawer from where I left it earlier in the week. I grabbed it and walked back into the lounge. I put the DVD American Pie on, and turned my phone on and sat on the couch.

I had 7 texts, and not one from Jacob. I honestly was a little sad at that.

Four were from Charlie. Two were blank texts; one said 'what' and that was it. He must have pushed send by mistake. The final text read:

C: What's weather like there? Bet its better then here. Text me kid.

The 3 from Alice were:

A: Told you he wouldn't hurt you.

Embarrassing to think she had seen it in her vision.

A: Sorry about the sunburn. Didn't even know what that was.

Last text read

A: Wear the god dam lingerie Bella.

I laughed out loud. I texted Charlie back saying the weather was lovely, and asked how he was, but he didn't reply. No doubt at the office or out fishing.

I texted Alice.

B: No worries about Sunburn, it's mostly healed now. Will consider lingerie lol

Alice wrote back almost immediately.

A: Wear it. You know you want to.

I laughed.

B: Whatever

A: You wear it Bella. Please! You have to.

Even through the phone, she was hard to say No to.

B: Fine, ill wear it at some stage then.

Her final text summed out how she was feeling about the situation.

A: Good!

I couldn't decide whether or not to text Jacob. I should, I said I would, and we were friends after all. I felt rude texting him just because Edward wasn't around. It just didn't seem very fair. I knew if Edward wasn't here I probably wouldn't be texting Jacob, not because it was Jacob but because Id be to busy having fun with Edward.

I sighed, and thought Id text him anyway.

B: Hey Jake. How's it going? Weathers been great here got so sun burnt! So not funny.

And then I waited for a reply. It came about 5 minutes later.

_Mustn't be on patrol tonight_

J: Hey bells, good to hear from you! Sunburn? That's no good. Dumass didn't put sun block on a?

B: Hey! Who you calling dumass?? You hairy ass. lol

I laughed out loud. I wasn't really watching the movie anymore.

J: Now now, don't be like that. How's paradise?

B: Pretty good. Lost track of time here. It's always hot. Looks like something off a postcard here.

J: Send me a picture

B: Of?

J: The view.

I went outside, and clicked a picture of the view from the cottage, on my phone, then one of the cottage, then one of me doing a cheesy grin and peace sign and sent them through to him. It took awhile to send so I went back to watching the movie while I waited for his reply.

My phone beeped.

J: Beautiful

That was all it said. I immediately felt uncomfortable then my phone beeped again

J: While you look like a cheesy idiot lol

I laughed again. Texting him like this was great. He was like the old Jacob again, had he changed? Or was he hiding behind his phone pretending to be that old Jacob that was my best friend. I could keep him in my life if he was going to be this way, it would be easy if I didn't have to worry about him hurting. It would be nice, it would be perfect. I felt like I was I was having my cake, and eating it to, and then licking the plate clean

B: It's not nice to call names

J: So where's Edward?

I knew he'd ask eventually. Should I lie and say he was with me, or tell the truth. Would that make me less of friend? Some how admitting I was only texting, because Edward wasn't here made me feel that way.

I went with lying.

B: Hes rubbing my feet.

Im not even sure where I came up with that one. I didn't like my feet being touched.

The answering text I got surprised me.

J: Like a good husband should. Rubbing all those sandy gritty toe jams out your toes. Poor Edward lol Tell him I said hell need to disinfect his hands after that!!

I couldn't believe it. Was he trying to be funny with Edward? Something was definitely going on; he couldn't stand Edward before and now this?? I had written the text before I even thought through what I wanted to say.

B: You've changed Jake. How come you're so nice all of a sudden?

I hope I hadn't scared him off with that text, but it wasn't long again before the phone beeped.

J: Because I love you, and you're my best friend, and so I accept your situation and all that goes with it.

_All that goes with it? Did that also mean….._

before I had the chance to reply, my phone beeped again.

J: Which means, Edward has permission to bite you, to change you, and the treaty will not be broken.

Tears welled in my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Things were starting to work out perfectly. I just had to decide when the change would take place, and at the moment I was in no hurry to make that decision.

B: Oh Jake. Thank you. I love you to, besty

_I hope he reliezes I mean besty, as in best friend._

J: Im glad that says besty and not Betsy lol

B: Dork

We continued our texting banter well into the night. Charlie never did text me back, so I assumed his phone had gone flat and he hadn't realized. I started to get sleepy on the couch; I pulled the throw rug down on me. I really couldn't be bothered moving to the room. I said good night to Jacob and that I would text him again soon. I heard the phone beep one more time, but was to far gone to bother to reach it and read the text. It could wait.

*

EPOV

I could see the light from the television as I pulled back into the dock at Isle Esme. I knew Bella would fall asleep on the couch with the television on. There were still a few hours before dawn. I entered the house silently. I quietly put the fresh fruit away that Bella had asked me to bring. I immediately frowned when I saw the plate with evidence of her dinner. Pop tarts. Not a very good evening meal if you ask me. I walked over to where she was asleep and covered her properly with the blanket. Her breathing was slow and steady, she was in a deep sleep. A light flashing caught my eye. Her phone.

Didn't that mean there was an unread text on the phone?

_Read it._

_No._

I shrugged, picked up the empty glass that was on the floor next to her phone, and walked over to the kitchen to put it on the bench. But curiosity got the better of me, and I headed back towards the phone. I picked it up and silently slid out the house to snoop on her phone. I was horrified at myself, for this intrusion on her privacy, but it wasn't enough to stop me.

1 unread message. Jacob.

Jealousy surged through me. What was he doing texting my wife, and what was she doing texting him?? Right at that moment, I could have broken that phone into pieces, but I didn't. I was probably over reacting. It's probably nothing but a friendly text.

_But what if it isn't_.

_What if they were having text…sex?_

_What if she decided she wanted him now?_

_What would I do?_

I shook my head clear of those thoughts. This was Bella I was talking about. My Bella. This would be nothing but a friendly text. I had no reason to worry. But I looked at the text all the same.

J: Good night Bells.

Relief.

But not for long.

On further inspection her phone, had a total of 89 texts in the inbox. 82 from Jacob.

The jealousy surged its ugly head again. I peeked back through the window and saw that Bella was still sound asleep. I sat down on one of the outside deck chairs, and like an untrusting, sneaky, husband I read every single text they sent to each other.

I was pleasantly surprised at the overall tone of the texts. There didn't seem to be anything for me to worry about. His texts came across as friendly and nothing more. He even asked how I was enjoying the break away from civilization. I noticed she said I was with her when she was texting. I had to admit, I liked that. I couldn't believe it when I read the text that said the treaty wouldn't be broken when I changed Bella. It appeared Jacob, was a man with honor who was willing to compromise and he loved Bella, as a best friend and nothing more. He wanted Bella to be happy, that's all that mattered. Maybe after all this time I had under estimated who he really was. I had a new found respect for Jacob. All that was left now was to set the date for her to be changed. My cock twitched at thought. It would have to be soon, I could hardly wait to be able to have no self control and do as I pleased with her. After snooping through her phone I almost felt stupid for ever doubting Bella. Well, to be honest I did feel stupid, there was no almost about it. I sat for awhile with the phone in my hand, I couldn't really believe my good fortune. I married the woman of my dreams, she wanted to be like me, and the treaty, that I thought would make it difficult, was no longer a problem. I wanted to rush inside to the house, and wake Bella up. Tell her how great this news was. But I couldn't. I would have to wait until she told me; otherwise she would surely know I had been sneaking around with her phone. With that thought, I went back into the house, and placed the phone back on the floor where she had left it. I hoped she would be none the wiser that I had read that last message.


	9. Pack Meeting JPOV

JPOV

I was just sitting down to watch a bit of television, when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I yelled.

It was Quil. "Hey man, what's up?" I asked him as he came into the house.

"Pack meeting in 10 minutes." Was it just me? Or did he seem really uncomfortable.

"What? Why? Everything's been fine, why are we having a pack meeting?" It wasn't so much that fact I didn't want to go to a pack meeting. It was more that I couldn't be bothered. We hadn't had a hint of trouble for a while now, and I had started to relax a little bit, or maybe I just got lazy.

"Uh, well…"

I stood up and walked over to him. "What?" I asked in an almost panicky tone. Had something happened I was unaware of.

He let out a deep breath; he obviously decided he may as well just tell me.

"Sam wants to talk about the treaty, and Bella's change…..and what that means"

I looked at him, stunned. I was speechless. I knew what it meant when Edward would bite her to change. Technically, it meant the treaty would be violated, broken. But what would that mean for us? The pack? Even though I had every intention of upholding the treaty, I know I would let no harm come to Bella, treaty or not.

"Let's go then" I said walking out the door. I walked silently with Quil to the bushes edge, removed my sweat pants, tied them to my ankle and then phased. I made no attempt to hide my indecision of what was more important to me, Bella or the treaty. I knew the other members of the pack could hear my thoughts I didn't care. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I didn't hear any one else's, until we ran into the opening in the forest when the rest of the pack was waiting. It would appear I was last to arrive. Everyone had phased back to human form. This was a first. We usually stayed in wolf form for pack meetings. I phased back, unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Hey Jake," a few of the guys said in unison.

"Hey" I replied. "So what's this about?" I directed the question at Sam.

Everyone looked on edge, and then Sam spoke calmy. "We are all aware that Bella has made the decision to become a vampire, but it doesn't go without notice that in order for Bella to change, she will need to be bitten by a vampire. One of the Cullen's biting anyone, including Bella, is in violation of the treaty."

The rest of the pack turned and looked at me, obviously waiting for my reaction. Probably because my reaction would be the only one that mattered at this point. This was Bella we were talking about.

"And what?" was all I could say. This is what Bella wanted. It wasn't as if it was being forced on her.

"And it violates the treaty," Sam repeated.

"How?" It's what she wants." I said. It was true; no one here could deny that this is what she wanted.

"It doesn't matter that it's what she wants, the fact remains by biting her, the treaty would be violated, and we will have no choice but to retaliate."

Did I just hear him right? Did he say retaliate? That he would go to war over something like this, against the Cullen's. A bite that was consensual? I felt myself getting angry.

"That's Bullshit" I spat. "And you know it."

Even though I would have preferred Bella didn't change into a vampire, it was what she wanted. She was entitled to make her own choices, and as her friend, I would stand by her, and in this case I would defend her decision.

The pack was silent, all eyes on me, watching and waiting.

"Jacob…" Sam began.

"No, Sam I don't want to hear it," I said harshly. "We will not go to war with the Cullen's, should Bella be changed by them. This is what she wants. She has consented to him biting her and changing her. If the treaty had fine print, Im sure it would say if a person had consented to being bitten the treaty would still be intact. I would think its called common sense! It would be different if he just chomped down on her when she didn't want that," I was starting to get really angry now, angry at how irgnorant Sam was acting. "We will not fight them Sam."

I noticed that packs eyes dart back to Sam, waiting for his response.

"And what about when Bella is a newborn? What if she wanders into Forks to suck the life of her school friends?" his voice had also risen in volume.

I laughed.

"That's ridiculous," I retorted. "Those Cullen's will have 24/7 surveillance on her. It won't happen." and Im pretty sure the pixie one would have a vision if it was going to happen.

"Your feelings blind you to the truth," Sam yelled, taking a step towards me.

"Bullshit, your fat head blinds you from seeing the simplest things. This isn't a huge issue; this isn't a vampire biting a random unwilling human. It's Bella, and her husband we are talking about here!" If Sam couldnt see the truth in that, he surely was retarted.

_Did I just say her husband?_

I really was doing well as just being her best friend.

_I didn't even call him any crude name._

"I don't agree with you," Sam said firmly.

"Well I don't really give a shit if you do or not. As Ephraim's heir, I will give Edward my permission, and my word, that biting her to change her will not violate the treaty. If you don't like it, you'll just have to blame me." I said sternly, staring straight into Sams eyes. Daring him to argue back with me.

Quil spoke up. "How about we put it to a vote?"

I shrugged, "Please yourself, either way I still plan on giving Edward permission to change Bella."

I felt like an idiot saying I gave Edward permission. Like I was his dad or something. Sam agreed to a vote, although I knew he hated the idea, and Im pretty sure he was pissed off when he lost. Paul and Leah sided with Sam. No surprise there. Quil, Embry, Seth, and Jared all sided with me. I did feel relieved. I actually don't know what I would of done, or could of done if they had all went against me. Sam shook my hand at the end of the meeting, and agreed that no harm would come to the Cullen's when Bella was changed. However, should Bella go crazy as a newborn she would be taken care of and I agreed. I hoped that wouldn't happen, I hoped I knew the Cullen's enough to know they would never let Bella out of there sight until she had gained the self-control she needed.

After the meeting, I phased back into wolf form and trotted slowly back to the house. Listening to the other members of the packs thoughts, as I was sure they were listening to mine. Leah thought I was pathetic. She didn't like being on Sam's side, but she hated the vampires more then she despised Sam. She wasn't too fond of Bella either. I didn't think I was pathetic, I was rather proud of myself. I thought I was being mature if I was being honest. Being Bella's best friend was making me think straight, for once.

I trotted towards the house, only phasing back when I stood at the front door. I entered the house, and found my sisters left over pizza in the oven.

_Thanks so much sis_

I ate it all, and placed the empty box back in the oven. It annoyed her more then anything when I ate her food, or drank her drink then put it back empty. I got a bit of a kick out of it. It had to be one my favourite ways to annoy her. I decided I would have a shower, and then settle for a night in front of the television.

After my shower I went into my room to grab a clean pair of sweat pants, when I noticed my phone was lit up. I picked it up from the bed side drawer and saw I had a text from Bella. I took the phone into the lounge, made myself comfortable, put the TV on the movie channel and opened the text that Bella had sent.

B: Hey Jake. How's it going? Weathers been great here got so sun burnt! So not funny.

The time she sent it was a few minutes ago. I wondered if she was waiting for me to reply. I hope so. I couldn't believe she got sun burnt. How dum could she get, she was so pale it wouldn't even take long to get some seriously painful sunburn. I guess Edward would have no idea what sunburn was so even though I would have liked to, I couldn't blame him.

J: Hey bells, good to hear from you! Sunburn? That's no good. Dumass didn't put sun block on.

B: Hey! Who you calling dumass?? You hairy ass. Lol

_Hairy ass?? That cheeky little_…..

J: Now now, don't be like that. How's paradise?

B: Pretty good. Lost track of time here. It's always hot. Looks like something off a postcard here.

I tried to picture it in my head, what it would like. I could imagine that she was telling the truth. It probably would like some postcard, the 5 star holiday island, except this was a private island, owned by vampires.

J: Send me a picture

I wanted to see what it looked like.

B: Of?

J: The view.

What did she think I wanted a picture of?

It took awhile for the pictures to come through to my phone. One picture must have been the view from the cottage; the cottage must have been up on a hill because I could see tops of trees in the picture. The next one was of the cottage, very flash, as I suspected. The last picture was of Bella with a goofy grin and peace sign; she looked really happy, and burnt.

I thought Id send her a text to play with her mind.

J: Beautiful

I quickly sent another one, so she didn't start acting all weird, or not text me back at all.

J: While you look like a cheesy idiot lol

I laughed as I sent the text. Even though last week, I wished she would dumped vampire man and run off with me, I was enjoying being her friend. It just seemed so easy, so effortless. I guess Quil was right, maybe this was how it was meant to be. To be honest, I liked it. There didnt seem to be any pain or anguish. Just...happiness.

B: It's not nice to call names

I laughed at her text. I suddenly wondered where Edward was. Was he away hunting and that's why she was texting? The thought made me feel a little sad, that I was only good for attention when Edward was busy doing something else. Maybe I should just ask where he is.

_No._

_Yes_.

Yes won.

J: So where's Edward?

B: He's rubbing my feet.

So he was there, I felt quite good about that. Eeeeww and touching her feet. Gross. I laughed. Sweaty feet isn't appealing in my book. I quickly texted back.

J: Like a good husband should. Rubbing all those sandy gritty toe jams out your toes. Poor Edward lol Tell him I said hell need to disinfect his hands after that!!

I almost felt sorry for him having to touch sweaty toe jams. Almost.

The next text surprised me.

B: You've changed Jake. How come you're so nice all of a sudden?

_Honesty's the best way to go._

J: Because I love you, and you're my best friend, and so I accept your situation and all that goes with it.

_I suppose I should tell her…._

J: Which means, Edward has permission to bite you, to change you, and the treaty will not be broken.

I waited patiently for her reply, curious to her reaction.

B: Oh Jake. Thank you. I love you to, besty

I could imagine her, with tears welling up in her eyes as she read that text. It made me smile, to give her what she wanted. I didn't want the conversation to stay serious though, so chose to pick at her calling me besty.

J: Im glad that says besty and not Betsy lol

B: Dork

We continued texting for a few hours. I didn't catch anything about the movie that was on television. But our texts got fewer and further apart as I, and her, got tired. She finally said she was dozing off and texted me goodnight. I texted her to say good night, and wondered if shed fallen asleep before I even sent it.


	10. Share the News BPOV & EPOV

Edward had been…moody most the day. His moods had changed constantly throughout the day. I didn't know what was going on with him. When I asked him if anything was wrong, he would say he was fine. I didn't believe him. Then he would cheer up, like something had just occurred to him. He would be happy for awhile and then slowly drift back to being crabby. I was now sitting outside on the outdoor furniture watching him cooking dinner. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know he was wearing his grumpy pants....again.

I thought back over the day, trying to think of something I had said that may have set him off. I could think of nothing.

When I had awoken this morning, he was already back from his hunt. Breakfast was cooked and waiting for me. He seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood, big smile with smiling eyes that were a beautiful rich amber color. A hunt had done him good. I asked how his hunt went; he gave very little details, like always. He asked how my night was; I told him it was good, that I watched a DVD and texted Alice, Charlie and Jacob. He seemed genuinely interested in what Jacob had to say. I was surprised when he asked how Jacob had been. I told him Jacob was fine, but didn't go into much more details on the matter. I didn't tell him he had permission to change me. I was going to tell Edward, I just didn't want to tell him then.

We had decided to go for a walk to the waterfall today, it wasn't far, and Edward seemed to be in a good mood when we left. We talked, as we walked along the track to the waterfall, and his conversations with me were going from sentences, to one word answers. By the time we got the waterfall he wasn't talking at all. The waterfall was beautiful, it fell into a good sized pool of fresh water that of course, I wanted to swim in. After bribing Edward with kisses, he joined me in the fresh water pool and for awhile he seemed happy again. My body, obviously distracting him from whatever that was disturbing him.

We had a lovely picnic at the waterfall. We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing by the fresh water pool. I was relaxing in the shade of course. Even with sun block on, I wasn't going to lie in the sun. My skin was already patchy and peeling from the first lot of sunburn I had, and I didn't want to take the risk by adding to it.

We headed back to the house late afternoon, and once again, Edward had gone all silent on me. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he said no. He just said he was sad that soon we would be returning home and it wouldn't be just us anymore. I didn't buy it though. That thought made me sad to, but that wasn't what was making Edward go quiet. By the time it came for him to start cooking dinner, he hadn't spoken for over an hour, and since he claimed nothing was wrong I couldn't do anything to fix it. Now his mood was starting to rub off on me, and I was started to get annoyed. I didn't want to argue with him about anything only 1 week into our marriage.

I breathed out a large breath and took a drink of the orange juice in front of me, trying to think of what to do. Edward was probably quite capable of keeping this mood up for days, what's a couple of days of moodiness when you can live for eternity?

_Maybe I should tell him about Jacob and the treaty. That would cheer him up_.

I didn't really want to tell him. Not yet. It would mean there was no reason for me to wait anymore apart from saying goodbye to everyone, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to change in a huge hurry. I could wait till I was twenty. I could get away with that? Couldn't I?

I suppose I should tell Edward though, he deserves to know.

_My phone._

That's when I had a vague memory of my phone beeping as I drifted off to sleep. I couldn't remember if I read that last text or not.

I had just left my phone sitting on the coffee table this morning. Edward wouldn't snoop on my phone, and I certainly was not going to hide it from him. I walked back inside and picked up my phone. There was no notification of a message waiting to be read.

_Maybe he did read it._

I opened up the message inbox. The last message read Good night Bells from Jacob. I don't remember reading that. I don't even remember reaching for my phone to read this. I shrugged to myself; I must have been really tired. Then a thought occurred to me.

_No._

_Surely not._

_He wouldn't._

_He didn't._

Edward wouldn't snoop through my phone. If he did he'd already know that Jacob had granted permission to bite me, and the treaty would remain intact. He'd be bouncing off the walls with happiness if he knew already, and judging by the grumpy mood he was in, he didn't know. He had no idea.

So therefore, he hadn't snooped. Of course he didn't, he's Edward, my perfect husband. I smiled to myself. I quickly realized Edward was probably watching me, and I, no doubt, looked like an idiot having a one-sided conversation in my head, shrugging and smiling away over nothing. That's how he would see it.

I decided I would tell Edward over dinner about Jacob. That would cheer him up.

*

Edward brought dinner over to the table. Even in a mood, he took care of me. I was the luckiest girl on the planet. He sat the food in front of me and sat down opposite me on the table, his eyes looking out to the ocean.

"Thank you Edward," I said as I started to eat my dinner. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Oh?" his eyes darted quickly back to me; I had captured his attention immediately.

"Well," I started, "While I was texting Jacob last night, he told me some very interesting, and good news. I think you'll like it."

"I will?" Edward asked. His eyes had a twinkle in them, like he already knew that what ever I was going to tell him would be fantastic.

"Yes, I think you will." I breathed out, trying to calm my nerves. "Jacob said you can bite me, to change me, and it won't break the treaty. Seems like it's already sorted with the pack. They are going to let this one bite slide" I smiled.

_There I said it. It's all out in the open now._

His grin was nothing short of magnificent, and if he could have cried tears of happiness I know they would have been falling down his cheeks right now.

He took my free hand in his hand, rubbing the top of my hand gently with his thumb.

"It's like a dream," he said quietly. "I went from being by myself, never thinking I would find anyone, content to be by myself, to having you, and now I know I can have you for eternity and it won't start a war. Everything's perfect. Im afraid Ill wake up, and find myself back in 1918 in the hospital and my whole life has just been a dream."

I was caught up in the moment with him.

"Its real Edward, what we have is real."

I couldnt of dreamed this life up, even if I wanted to.

We talked over dinner, Edward clearly in the best mood ever. Whatever had him down before was certainly not bothering him now, it was long forgotten.

"I think we should celebrate," Edward said

"And how would we do that?" I asked him.

He disappeared and was back within 2 seconds, holding an already chilled bottle of some fancy champagne and one glass.

"And how do you plan on us," I emphasised the word us, "celebrating, when Im the only one that can drink."

I wasn't really much of a drinker; well I wasn't a drinker, full stop. But I thought that maybe drinking was a more preferable choice then picking dates for my change. I wasn't ready for that yet.

"I guess you'll have to have a drink for me to," he grinned.

I shrugged. "Well in that case, Im drinking it in the spa." and headed back into the house to change out of my clothes.

"Where are you going?" Edward called after me.

"Getting out of these," I said, pointing at my clothes, as I disappeared down the hallway.

*EPOV

_She told me._

_Finally._

_About time to_.

I know I wasn't supposed to act the way I did. It was wrong. I was wrong. But as it turned out, I am a selfish creature and I wanted things my way. I wanted her to tell me as soon as she woke up this morning. I wanted her to rush into my arms and tell me the good news, and when she didn't, I didn't like it. I tried to reason with myself, I wasn't even supposed to know! It was her secret to tell, but I still felt myself getting angry. I did a terrible job at hiding it to. Such a fool. Then in my own twisted mind, I came up with ideas to why she hadn't told me, like she wanted to surprise me with it, she was going to make me guess, she was going to tell me and then tell me to bite her, the list was endless. Id be happy for a little while then slowly find myself getting angry again simply because she hadn't told me what I wanted to hear. I was being unreasonable and I knew it. If I hadn't of snooped on her phone I wouldn't of had this problem to begin with!

But then she did tell me, and all my past anger was gone. I didn't care anymore. She told me. My dream of us together forever was getting closer to becoming reality. All we had to do now were work out the fine details, like the date.

_Maybe we could talk about that tonight?_

When I heard her coming back down to the hallway, I quickly stripped off and got into the spa. I was naked, so I was hoping she was to, or I was going to feel stupid.

I was pouring her a glass of champagne when she came walking out to the spa. She had on her silky purple robe, with her hair tied up on her head. I went to speak but shut my mouth, as she took her robe off and settled down into the spa. Her glorious naked body screaming at me to touch it.

_It's only been a few hours. You just had her by the waterfall!_

_It's not enough._

_I could never have enough_.

I passed her the glass of champagne and she took a drink.

She looked at it, and then took another drink, "It's not bad" she said smiling at me.

"Drink up. There's a whole bottle here,"

"Are you trying to get me drunk Mr. Cullen?" she asked in a mischieveious tone.

"No, not really……well, I am curious to see what you'd be like intoxicated. I just think I don't mind too much because it's just us here, and you can't make a fool of yourself," I started to laugh. "Besides, I thought maybe you'd like to get intoxicated at least once before you change."

She thought about that for a few seconds, and decided I was right. She was going to be giving up a lot of things when she changed, I didnt want her to miss out on any of them if I could help it. I didnt see what the big deal was with drinking, or why people needed to drink to have a good time. All I knew is that I wanted Bella to have at least had the experience.

After 40 minutes in the spa, 3 quarters of the champagne bottle, plus the heat from the spa itself, Bella was well on her way to, dare I say it, being drunk! She giggled, and laughed at random things I would say. I couldn't help but laugh with her, and sometimes at her. She was being an incredible tease to, and none of my advances came across seriously to her. She would start giggling at me. We had conversations about Jacob, cheese, her family, my family. None of them were serious. I tried to bring up the date for her change but she started laughing and pretending she had fangs and saying 'I want to suck your blood.' Then she would laugh some more. I was wasting my time trying to have a serious conversation with her, so decided to enjoy the humor of her being like this.

Things took a turn for the better after I had run my fingers through my hair and had rested my head against the side of the hot spa. I felt her come over beside her. The smell of alcohol was strong on her breath, but her natural sweet smell was still the strongest smell to my senses. I looked at her out the corner of my eye, expecting her to pinch my nose or do something ridiculous. What she did, and said to me, froze me in place.

She ran her finger along my chest while she spoke. "Would you like to fuck me, Mr. Cullen?"

I was instantly hard, but I couldn't speak. She had caught me off guard, she didn't even giggle, and she cussed……and I liked it. I wouldn't want her to talk like that all the time, but just then….it was amazing.

"Are you going to answer me, or are you just going to sit there" she whispered in my ear, and then bit my ear lobe.

I growled, and she grinned.

I turned to her, pulling her towards me. Two could play at this game. "Do you want me to fuck you in this spa?" she quivered in my arms as I spoke.

"I love it when you talk like that" she said confidently, obviously encouraging my use of foul language.

"You haven't answered my question Bella," my voice husky from the choking need I had for her.

She slid away from me, and started to get out of the spa.

My hopes plummeted, was she rejecting me.

But then she spoke

"Im not so keen on being in the spa, but Im quite happy to be bent over the side of it and be fucked from behind." And as she did that she bent over the spa, bottom in the air, laying her body down along the side of the spa. Id never gotten out of that spa so fast.

_I love Bella and alcohol together._

I didn't even say anything. I just mounted and plunged and Bella called out in pleasure. I wasn't going to last long. She backed to meet me when I went to dive in again. I pumped in and out of, taking in the beautiful sight of my cock inside her. The sight brought on a shudder of delicious warmth, and a pulsing, tingling pull. The pressure was mounting quickly, her actions and my need for her drove me faster.

"Bella!" I cried out. "My beautiful, wild woman." I breathed, as I thrust and thrust and thrust again.

I held her hips, pulling her to me. She reared back to meet me as I surged into her with a shudder of delight, then I collapsed on top of her, carefully not to let her take my full weight.

I didn't look around for any wrecked furniture as I knew there wasn't any. This time it didn't last long enough for me to wreck anything. I was getting better at control. Well, it depended really. I knew if there was too much of a gap between our loves making sessions control would be difficult. So I found, for now, the best way to deal with it was to make love to my wife as much as I could. The more times we shared this experience the more in control I felt.

I felt Bella squirm beneath me.

"That was nice." she said quietly.

"Mmmmm" was all I could muster up saying.

"Well I don't know about you, but Im going to have a shower, pop some asprin, and then I might go to bed. Im not feeling so great," and then she giggled; clearly the alcohol still was in effect. "Care to join me?"

"Like I would say no." I answered. I grabbed our things from outside and followed her to the bedroom.


	11. Inside Bellas mind

I had decided I would never drink again. It had been a few days ago now, but that morning I woke up I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I looked and felt terrible. One lousy bottle of champagne had put me on my ass. Edward had a great time reminding me of the silly things I had done, or said. He tried to entice me a few nights later with another bottle, but it didn't happen. He thought it would be fun, I disagreed. I was glad I had tried it though, but it wouldn't be something I missed when I became a vampire.

We were yet to decide on a date. I thought I had been rather clever with holding off choosing a date for my change. I suggested we should wait until we returned to Forks to discuss it. I said I felt that the rest of his family should have some say in it, or at least be there when we discussed it. They would be the ones that would have to monitor me for the first 12 months while I adjusted to the new change in my body, and new diet. At first, that was just a line I come up with to get out of discussing the date. The more I thought about it though, it did make sense to involve the Cullen's, what I was saying turned out to be true. Of course Alice would see any visions of any problems that may arise. Edward seemed to agree with me, he thought I had thought everything out and had it planned to a tee. Little did he know it was the complete opposite. I hadn't planned a thing. All I knew was I wanted the change but just not yet. I already knew I would miss eating; I would miss doing things at human speed. A romantic walk along the beach wasn't romantic when you when you were running. I would miss Charlie, how long would it be before I could see him again? I would miss Edward…. I would miss how he made me feel when we were making love; it wouldn't be the same after I was changed. Maybe I was just over reacting, letting my imagination get the best of me. I had no idea what my future would be like….

I often thought of Alice and wondered if she saw my indecision. I didn't think she would. She would still see me as a vampire, as one of them. It was what I wanted ultimately, and nothing could sway me from wanting that. I had no intention of aging further then twenty, especially when my husband was forever seventeen. It was the date and time that I was unsure of. I figured Alice wouldn't think it was suspicious. I was still a vampire in her visions for the future, how and when it happened she couldn't see yet, simply because I hadn't decided yet. This was true. There was no time table on her vision. So as long as she saw the end result, all the finer details didn't matter, for now. I also wondered if it would be possible to somehow keep Edward from me while I changed. 3 days of watching me being tortured by his venom would be agony for him, and I knew he would feel guilty about it for the rest of eternity. If there was anyway I could do it without him, I would. He wouldn't like me telling him that either.

However, Alice would become suspicious if a date was set, and she still couldn't see the change happening. This was something I would have to figure it out before we discussed setting the date. I was either going to have to tell Edward I wanted to wait or just get over it, and go along with it and live with the consequences. I didn't know which option was easier and if I was honest about it, I didn't really want to think about it anymore.

Charlie had texted back, finally, after 3 days. The phone had fallen down behind the seat in the police cruiser. He'd been searching for it for days. I let him know we would be flying home on Sunday, 3 days away. Wed spend a total of 2 weeks here, 2 glorious weeks. Wed made love, had quickies, fucked, on average 3 times a day. I loved every minute of it. I couldn't get enough of him and he seemed to feel the same way I did. Every single piece of sexy lingerie that Alice had packed, Id worn and Edward had ripped. I had banned him from ripping the normal type of underwear that I had left to wear, if he carried on ripping them I was going to end up with nothing. I was impressed with Edward's control, but it hadn't gone unnoticed by me that pillows had gone missing, he'd obviously ripped them during our love making when my attention was elsewhere, and got rid of the evidence when I was sleeping. Id found the impression of his hand gouged into one of the posts of his bed. A kitchen stool had gone missing, along with the hallway door. I also noticed tiles in the shower appeared to be cracked, I was positive they were not like that when we arrived. He never mentioned it, so neither did I. I was amazed at the things I found, wondering how I did not notice tiles cracking, or hallway doors getting damaged. I was so consumed with my passion for Edward the house could burn down around me, and I probably wouldn't notice that either.

We'd explored almost every inch of the island. We'd been scuba diving, which was fun. I was however unnerved by the site of Edward diving next to me, with no goggles, no breathing apparatus, no nothing. I wasn't scared in anyway, it just seemed so unnatural. On the upside though, I couldn't wait until I could swim like that. Scuba gear was heavey and bulky and it didn't help that I was already uncoordinated. It was a struggle just to try get in the water let alone swim with it.

Since wed been everywhere on the island and there wasn't anything new to do, not that I minded of course we settled into a routine. In the morning breakfast would be cooked for me. Id go shower, Edward would usually follow this leading to our first love making session of the day. After that we would usually pack a picnic and either walk to the waterfall or back down to the log by the beach. We would swim, eat, make love, relax, read, swim again, and talk. It never got boring. Late after noon we would head back to the house. I would watch him while he cooked dinner, and I usually picked us out a movie to watch later in the evening. I would have dinner, tidy up, and then we would have a spa together. After that we would watch the movie which we never ended up watching of as we always ended up making out, which ultimately lead to sex. I think one of the times Edward led me to the room was when the hallway door must have got damaged. Life for me was peaceful and content.

Edward had tried to convince me to take advantage of the fun things to do in the games room. I had ventured into that room, but hadn't played anything. I refused to play any kind of game with Edward, unless it was a board game. I didn't stand a chance of winning a game of pool or air hockey playing with a vampire with super speed, sight and strength. When I was a vampire I so hoped I could kick his ass.

Although there was so many things I was looking forward to when I became a vampire, I still couldn't get past the fact that I wasn't ready yet, and sooner rather then later I was going to have to tell him.


	12. Inside Edwards mind

I hadn't managed to convince Bella to drink again, whichI had to admit, was a little disappointing. The morning after her little stunt in the spa she said she felt awful, alcohol didn't appear to agree with my wife. However I had found it highly amusing to retell some of the funnier conversations from that night before. She cringed in embaressment at some of the things I told her she had done or said, while I found it highly entertaining. I loved that she felt comfortable enough to be in that state of mind with me and some of it was really funny. I was glad she had at least had the experience of drinking, but she vowed she would never drink again, it was something she definetly would not miss when she changed.

I had approached the subject with Bella about the change. I remembered when James had bitten her, and she didn't understand why I didn't let the venom spread so she could be like me. To be a monster. I couldn't do it then, I just couldn't let it happen. I loved her then as I loved her now, but back then it was a thought that disgusted me, it made me feel like I was even more of a monster to change her. I knew all along that Bella wanted to be with me forever, and I knew at some point she would have to be changed. If I could have, I would of dragged out the date of her change for as long as humanely possible. But now, having her with me, as my wife, as my lover, my selfish side wanted it to happen now, the sooner the better. My thirst for her blood didn't bother me anymore, unless I was aroused. During those times my self control was hanging by a thread at the best of times. During these times it seemed my senses were heightened and I desperately wanted to taste her sweet warm blood. Bellas safety was upmost importance to me, and I should of refrained from such contact until she was strong and solid like me. Making love to my wfie was putting her in danger, but my selfishness and dizzying addictive demand for her body won out everytime. Bella had suggested waiting until we were back with the rest of the family to discuss her change. She really had put a lot of thought into this, and after I had thought about it I had decided she was right. Personally, I would have liked to have sped the process up, and have just her and I discuss and decide when her change would take place. Deep down though, I knew I couldn't do it without my family. I would need Carlise, his advice and wisdom and to let me know I was doing the right thing, to talk me through Bellas stages of change. To reassure me that everything was going to be ok. Esme, for her compassion, she would tell me everything I would need and want to hear. Alice, who could show me through her mind everything I wanted to see. Jasper to help calm me if it was needed, and Emmett to possibly restrain me……should something go wrong. Rosalie, well I don't know what she could do to help, apart from tell me to pull my head out my butt and get over myself should I start with the self hatred rant I would be likely to start while Bella changed. We would need to have a family meeting when we returned to Forks, and soon Bella would be like me, and with me forever. My soul mate, who would finally be my equal.

I had spoken to Alice a few times while we were here, mostly late at night when Bella was asleep. I would ask the same things. Would the next day go by without Bella getting hurt? Did she see visions of her as a vampire? Could she put a time frame on it? Everytime I got the same answers. No, Bella would not get hurt. Yes, Bella as a vampire was clear and definite, and no she couldn't put a time frame on Bella changing because obviously Bella hadn't decided when she wanted to change. Any vision of the change was blurry at best. It was frustrating to say the least, but understandable. I would always ask Alice if there was anything else she would like to tell me, trying to fish for more information, and she would always say no. Disappointing me everytime. I set myself up for that each time I talked to her. But it was reassuring all the same to have Alice to talk to, to let me know that everything was going to be ok.

One date we had settled on, was the day we would leave. That would be this Sunday, so we had 3 more days here at Isle Esme. This time at Isle Esme were quite easily the best days of my life…so far. Things could only get better right? I was sad at the thought of returning to Forks, we had settled into a regular pattern of activites here, and our regular schedule allowed me to have Bellas body 3 times a day! When we returned to Forks we wouldn't have the privacy we had here, and Im sure the last thing Bella wanted to do was to make love with a house full of vampires that could hear everything. We would sort something out, I would make sure Bella was happy and comfortable for that aspect of our marriage. When she was changed I would be able to unleash all the passion I had been holding back, and I wouldn't have to worry about breaking her, or the furniture.

I had arranged and booked our flights back to Seatlle, arrving at night of course. We would be leaving Isle Esme late afternoon so by the time we reached the mainland the sun would have set. We only had a few days left here, and I wanted to do something special for our last day. But with limited resources there wasn't a lot I could do. She refused to ride the jet ski, which I actually was very grateful for. The games room was a no go area, she refused to play any game with me because she felt she had no chance of winning, which was right. Playing cards, hardly seemed like a fun way to end out time here either so I was mystified at what to do. I could only pamper her senseless, and so that is what I would do.

****

sorry for the short chapter, but i really wanted to hurry up and write the next couple of chapters :)


	13. Return to Forks BPOV

Although Edward's wealth wasn't something I thought about or was impressed by, I had to admit first class flying was impressive. I would never be able to fly economy again, not that Edward would ever let me. I had slept most of the flight, and I had slept well. Maybe it was because I was so relaxed from our time at Isle Esme or maybe it was because of these luxurious spacious first class seats. We were approximately 30 minutes away from landing, and I was looking forward to seeing everyone.

I was sad to leave Isle Esme, It was a place I had shared some of the early days of my marriage with Edward, and they were truly happy days. Life could only get better though. I watched the island disappear from our view as we sailed away. I knew the next time I returned there I would be one of them.

I looked over to Edward who was reading the newspaper.

"Anything interesting happening in the world, since we've been gone?" I asked.

"Apparently not," he answered. "All is well in the world, same ole, same ole." he smiled as he closed the newspaper. He folded it neatly and gestured to me, asking with no words if I wanted to read it. I shook my head no. I had already been overwhelmed when we first arrived back to the mainland after leaving Isle Esme. The world was a noisy place. After nothing but quiet for 2 weeks, the world seemed extra loud to me. People seemed loud, cars were loud, and the airport was extremely loud, the world in general was loud. I really didn't want to know what was going on in the world if I was honest with myself. I was content in the bubble that I had at Isle Esme, but everything seemed to be wearing my bubble down, and reading the newspaper would just be another way of making my bubble burst.

I looked over at Edward who was rubbing his temples.

"Is something wrong with Edward?" I asked him quielty. If he was human, I would of thought he had a headache.

He smiled weakly at me. "Im fine my love, my minds just overwhelmed. I went from hearing no ones thoughts at all on Isle Esme. I was normal for a short time there. I almost forgot I could hear peoples thoughts," He chuckled, "but everyone's thoughts are back with vengeance, Im just trying to block them out. That's all. Im ok though."

_Oh the poor thing._

I reached over to him running my fingers through his glorious copper colored hair.

"Oh Edward" was all I could say, and I thought the world was loud. How it must feel to him must be like everyone speaking into megaphones, pointed directly at him.

"It'll be fine. It wont be long and it wont bother me for much longer." he leaned into my hand, and I continued to run my fingers through his hair. It obviously gave him some sense of comfort.

"I wonder when you're changed, if I will be able to read your mind then, or if then maybe you'll be able to control it." He said quietly, as if he was just thinking out loud.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. I can't feel it now so I don't know how I could feel it after."

He sat up and looked at me, his tone now serious. "Seriously, you might. Like I said if you have some kind of supernatural power as a human it's usually strengthened when you become a vampire. If as a mortal, you can block me, Jane, and even Aro, what you could do with it when you're an immortal could be amazing."

_I don't think so._

The thought of me having a supernatural power was ridiculous.

"Im not so sure about that Edward, it seems a bit far fetched. I can block people from my mind, what more could come from that as a vampire?" I was curious, but I had already decided anything he would tell me would be ludicrous and not have a hint of truth in it.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe you could block your body from other attacks, or protect other people's minds. Im just guessing here, but it could be a possibility." he reached for my hand, "and maybe you could even let people, like me, into your mind." He raised one eye brow and gave me that crooked smile of his. I gave him a light whack on the chest.

"There's no way you'd be getting into my mind Mr. Cullen. You sooooo wouldn't handle what you'd find in there." I said laughing. I would surely die of embarrassment if he could ever read my mind.

"I might like it" he said teasingly.

_Yeah he probably would_.

I just smiled at him, and squeezed his hand.

"It might be worth mentioning to Carlisle" he said. "I would be interested to see what his theories are on you mind blocking."

I shrugged. It didn't really bother me, and I don't think I really cared anyway. Over the speaker system the pilot said we would be landing in a few minutes, so we put our seatbelts on and waited to land.

**

I saw the outrageously oversized sign before I saw them. MR & MRS CULLEN it read.

_Alice_

I saw her smiling face before I saw anyone else's. I had missed her. Esme and Carlisle came into sight, followed by Jasper, Emmett and then Rosalie. They were all here. My…family was here. I was thrilled. I ran straight into Alice's arms.

"Bella!" she squealed.

"Alice!" I squealed back.

She held me at arms length, looking at me grinning.

" What?" I asked.

"You got a little color," she laughed, pulling me into another embrace, "and you're a woman now" she giggled into my ear. I blushed immediately knowing that the rest of the family probably heard that as well. I quickly looked over at Edward who was getting a slap on the back from Emmett, which meant he was probably getting the your officially a man speech.

_How embarrassing._

Esme came and greeted me with a hug and kiss. Followed by the rest of the family one by one. Emmett, who was last to greet me, picked me up and gave me a hug thanking me for finally making his little brother Edward a man. Im quite sure the blush from my face spread throughout my entire body.

"Emmett!" Edward snapped at him.

"What?" he said, his laughter booming in my ear. He gently put me back on the ground and slapped Edward on the back again. "Nothing to be ashamed about dear brother."

I was quite sure Edward was just embarrassed as I was. Edward was far more of a gentleman then Emmett was, but I liked Emmett the way he was. He just wouldn't be Emmett otherwise.

Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and Esme traveled back to Forks in Carlisle's Mercedes, while Alice, Jasper, Edward and I took Emmett's jeep back to Forks. Edward and Jasper in the front, while Alice sat in the back with me. She had told Edward he had had me to himself for 2 weeks and it was her turn with me now.

"I hope you took lots of photos" Alice started. "I want to see lots and lots of photos. You did take photos didn't you Bella?"

"Yes, yes I did Alice" I answered. I knew if I didn't shed be on my case for decades.

"Fantastic, we will have to load them up on the laptop later." she said excitedly. Alice always had so much enthusiasm; she was always so bright and happy. Her energy always made me smile.

"Oh sorry about the whole sunburn thing, Bella."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Don't apologize; it's not your fault. How were you supposed to know Id get that? Im a big girl, it was my own fault. It's all gone now anyway"

She eyed my bared arms, and then nodded. I was telling the truth that sunburn had gone. The skin had peeled off and gone by the end of the first week.

"So, anything new and exciting happen while we were away?" I asked her.

"Well….yes……but you have to wait. It's so great, you'll love it, but you'll have to wait."

I was immediately nervous.

"What are you up to Alice Cullen?"

She looked out the car window with a huge grin. "Not a thing" she said happily.

"Liar" I said, but I couldn't hide the smile. Alice was not someone to battle with. It was easier to just let what ever she was planning happen, because even if I whined and complained, it would still happen anyway.

She grinned. "You'll love it" she repeated.

The rest of the drive back to Forks was filled with non stop chatter, mainly between Alice and me. I wasn't going to share all the saucy details of my honeymoon with Alice, and nothing overly exciting had happened since we were gone but we easily found things to talk about. It was nice to compare some stories from Isle Esme now that I had been there to. Alice was shocked and horrified I didn't go into her room and raid her closet, but I told her I felt that was an intrusion of her privacy, she politely told me that that was absurd and I could help myself to anything I wanted. We were family. Im quite sure Edward and Jasper were talking to, but to be honest I wasn't listening to them. Both Edward and I had agreed not to share the news we learnt from Jacob until the family meeting, which I knew would be happening over the next few days.

By the time we arrived back at the Cullen house, the sun was just starting to rise and I was hungry. Even though first class food was good, it wasn't enough to fill me up. Emmett volunteered to cook me breakfast, while I showered and Edward dealt with our luggage. Alice followed me up the stairs, we were still chatting away, yet to have a break from our conversation. I realized as I entered Edward's room I didn't have any other clothes here apart from the ones that I had taken to Isle Esme. As if Alice had known what I was thinking, she pushed into a room, what I would call a wardrobe on wheels.

"What is that?" I asked her

"Some of your clothes" she answered simply, like I should have already known that.

I eyed her curiously, "What do you mean by some?"

"Well there is more but, you can't have them yet, they are somewhere else. Don't ask anymore questions, just wait ok, all will be revealed." She said cheerily.

I walked over to the clothes, all still had tags, clearly brand new and expensive. I picked out a cashmere navy blue sweater and a pair of jeans.

"Ill see you down stairs after your shower" Alice said, and she practically skipped out the room.

After Alice left, I walked around Edward's room. I had never thought about where we would be staying when we returned from our honeymoon. Well, that's not true. I knew I wasn't planning on staying with Charlie, and this house was more then big enough to accommodate us all, plus I loved this family. But I realized privacy, and lack of it would be something that would unsettle me. Having my new mother and father in law, plus sisters and brothers listening to me make love was not something I was keen on, at all. I may need to speak to Edward this.

"Breakfast will be ready in 10 minutes" Emmett's voiced boomed from the kitchen.

"OK" I yelled back.

I quickly grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the bathroom.

**

It would seem my body had impeccable timing. Getting ready for my shower I noticed my period was just starting. I had to say I was rather pleased. At least I didn't get it while I was on my honeymoon because that would have ruined it, and I was rather pleased I had it now, which meant I didn't need to make excuses to get out of making love with Edward with a house full of vampires listening. I had an intra uterine device inserted before our honeymoon to stop me from getting pregnant. Edward had said his semen would do me no harm, but it was semen all the same and I wasn't convinced it wouldn't knock me up. Immortal or not, I didn't trust a man's hormones. It obviously worked, which meant his semen hadn't somehow dissolved my form of contraception. I quickly showered, changed into the new clothes Alice had purchased and headed towards the kitchen. Everyone was sitting around at the kitchen bar when I got downstairs.

Emmett was looking as pleased as ever with himself, as he handed me a glass of orange juice and what looked like gourmet scrambled eggs. It seemed to have a bit of everything in it, and it was delicious.

"This is great Emmett, thank you"

"No problem" he said with a grin. "Im on dinner to, anything you would like in particular?"

Dinner to? What'd that mean?

"Are you cooking dinner to?" I asked him.

"Yup" he answered. "We are going to have turns cooking for you" he gestured to his family members. "It's my turn today, Alice's tomorrow."

I immediately felt embarrassed.....again.

"You don't have to cook for me, I can cook for myself."

It was Esme who spoke. "Don't be ridiculous Bella, we will cook for you, we want to. We actually enjoy it."

There was no point in arguing, and I had no intention of arguing with Esme of all people. I sighed and agreed.

"So?" Emmett asked. Still waiting for me to answer what I wanted for dinner.

"Anything with chicken" I answered. I would be interested to see what he came up with.

"Chicken it is" he replied, and then he left me to enjoy my breakfast.

The family were having discussions with each other, while I sat and ate, listening to whoever held my interest at the time. Emmett had started talking to Jasper about a game. that was on last night. Rosalie was telling Alice about a part she should get for her Porsche that would give it more power. Esme was telling Edward it was nice to have him home and Im sure I caught something about replacing broken furniture. Esme then wandered into the living area to tend to her flowers. Carlisle and Edward started to have what appeared to me to be an intense conversation and on occasion I would see them both look over to me, and nod in agreement. I didn't like that, so I tried to ignore them and continue to eat my breakfast.

When Carlisle said my name, I knew I was getting brought into this conversation. I hoped it wasn't about that change, because I knew I wasnt in the mood for talking about that today.

As soon as I thought that, I saw Alice's head swiftly turn and look at me. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward look at Alice.

_Shit._


	14. Powers and Visions BPOV & EPOV

Shit

Shit

Shit

What did Alice just see, and what did she just let Edward see?

I was distracted by Carlisle.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Sorry Carlisle, what was that you were saying?" I hadn't heard a word he was saying, if he was saying anything at all.

Edward came up and rubbed his hand down my back and kissed me on the cheek.

_Thank god._

Obviously whatever vision he saw of Alices couldn't of been that bad.

"Edward and I were just talking about how he cant read your thoughts," Carlisle started. " He may be right you know, when you are like us you may be able to control it, or at least feel it."

"I think I like not being able to feel it" I answered honestly.

"Im not sure how it works, your mind obviously blocks Edward from reading your thoughts, and blocks Jane power and so on. Its almost like some kind of shield."

I shrugged my shoulders, I really didn't have anything to say on the matter. Maybe vampire powers just didn't work on me. Maybe it wasn't a shield, or a barrier or anything like that. Maybe I was just lucky.

"Your mind is intentionally blocking anything that may harm you, when you're a vampire you may be able to turn it off, or protect other people."

"Why would I want to turn it off?" I asked. I liked having my thoughts to myself, I liked that Jane couldn't hurt me and that Edward couldn't read my mind. The last thing I was going to do when I was a vampire would be try to turn off my so called supernatural power.

"Hes not saying you would want to," Edward spoke, rubbing his hand down my back again, clearly comforting me.

"I know, I know, I just don't think any of this supernatural power applies to me, that's all. I mean…..well I don't know what I mean. I just think its kind of silly me having some kind of power. I cant get my head around it, that's all"

"Of course, of course," Carlisle spoke, obviously seeing my point, "Your right Bella, this must be all very overwhelming for you."

I smiled at Carlisle, he was such a kind man, and he got so easily excited over new ideas and theories. I shouldn't take it out on him, or anyone else for that matter just because I thought the whole idea was silly.

"Its ok Carlisle, its just that Im un-co Bella, to think Im going to be vampire with powers is…well… dreamlike I guess."

"Itll be freaking awesome!!!" Emmett hollered, and we all laughed.

"Yes, awesome" I chuckled. "When Im changed, youll be one of the first to know if I can feel some kind of power Carlisle." I spoke to him, while pointing my fork at him. He would be the first I would run to should I awake in my vampire state and find something going on with me, no matter what it was.

He smiled and nodded. "Now eat the rest of your breakfast before its cold."

I returned to eating my breakfast, Edward still standing next to me rubbing my back.

"What would you like to do today my love?" he asked.

"I don't know, maybe we could visit Charlie, go have lunch with him or something" I suggested. "Ill give him a call and see if its ok, after breakfast."

"That sounds great" Edward said. He left me to finish my breakfast while he showered and changed for our first day back in Forks, as husband and wife.

**

EPOV

It felt good to be home. It had been the longest flight ever for me. The thoughts of people on the plane had been defeaning, and to be with my family again was a relief. There minds I could easily tune out. Emmett couldnt help but constantly congratulate me on becoming a man. He wanted details, and I had not intention of giving him any. He was more curious of the technicalities of it. A human and a vampire together made him so curious, he just didn't know how you could make love with out banging away with out self restraint at the end of it. So typical of him. I gave him no information, and he wasn't pleased with that fact at all. I was a gentleman after all, and all the visions, memories, and thoughts I had of Bella were for me only.

I went into the bedroom ensuite to find Bellas little pink box of lady products sitting on the shelf by the toilet.

I had smelt a faint difference from her this morning. It didn't bother me though, the smell of that blood, was dead, it held no interest whatsoever for me at all. I shrugged it off and proceeded to get into the shower, when it hit me.

No sex for a few days.

_No fair!!_

How was I going to cope? Going from 3 times a day, to zero times a day for at least 3 days was going to do nothing for my self-control. If anything it would have a very negative effect on it. I was disgusted at the thought, but I may have to resort to relieving myself, just to hold myself together for the next few days…..or maybe Bella could help relieve me.

Stop thinking about Bella that way. Your not helping yourself at all!

I would have to discuss with her, her change soon.

It wouldn't be today though, I had already seen in Alices vision what would happen if I brought it up today. She would throw her hands up in frustration saying she had just flew so many thousand miles and she really didn't feel like talking about her date of change or anything else serious today, she would then storm out the house, drive around Forks in my volvo deciding where to go for an hour and then the vision went black, meaning only one thing, she would go to Jacob. So no, I wasn't bringing it up today, I had no intention of pushing her to visit Jacob today. It could wait. It didn't have to be decided today. I could understand how she was feeling, she would just want to relax today, settle back into Forks, catch up with everyone…..no doubt catch up with Jacob to at some point. Ugh!

**

I felt refreshed after showering and changing into clean clothes. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame it, and then gave up.

Making my way down stairs I heard my family talking with Bella.

"Well I might go visit Jacob then since your all going." I heard her say.

_What? Where are we going? I don't remember saying I was going anywhere_.

"That's a good idea" I heard Alice say.

"Whats a good idea?" I asked innocently, as I came into the kitchen where they were all talking.

Bella spoke first. "Oh Jasper was saying that you guys are all leaving tomorrow morning for day hunt, going to get some big game. Ill just go visiting tomorrow and see Jacob for the day. Im sure he wont mind."

_I bet he wont mind._

There went my stupid jealousy getting the best of me. It wasn't like that. He wasn't like that, he'd proved by allowing Bella's change that he respected her wishes, and so, he respected her. It was ok, this was just about me and my insecurities. When he was thousands of miles away I didn't mind Jacob at all, I had gotten over the jealousy. But now, back in Forks, where Jacob was only a drive away my jealousy raged again. I would have to remind myself there was nothing to be jealous of.

_I_ _was going to have to keep telling myself that._

"Are we going hunting?" I asked, directing the question at the others. No one had told me.

"Yes" Jasper replied. "You look like you need it."

He was right. I had only fed once while on our honeymoon, and my eyes were now a pitch black. I sighed in defeat, knowing if I didn't go tomorrow, Id have to go the day after, or the day after that. At some point I was going to have to leave Bella to hunt. I would have preferred if I went while she was asleep though.

"Yeah I guess your right, ok, tomorrow morning it is."

"Great," Bella said. "Ill just text Jacob and let him know" and I watched her disapper out the room and heard her feet take the stairs as she made her way to the room to get her phone.

I must of looked depressed to my family, because Rosalie spoke. "Get over it Edward, its one day, youll survive."

"I know" I snapped back. I would survive, I would go hunt and come home and Bella would be here waiting for me. It was the fact that she was going to visit Jacob that bothered me, the fact I wouldn't know what was happening bothered me, the fact that my wife was visiting another man bothered me, the list was quite long of the things that bothered me. I pinched the bridge of my nose and heaved another sigh.

"Itll be ok" Alice said patting me on the back.

"I know Alice" I said softly. "Im just being…"

"A drama king" Rosalie finished.

Alice rolled her eyes but I could tell she was trying not to smile.

"Have you had visions of Bella yet?" I asked Alice. I had been wanting to talk to Alice about Bellas change since we flew in.

"No Edward, that vision I had this morning was the first Ive had that concerned her change, which we obviously aren't bringing up today."

"But she definetly is becoming a vampire?" I always had to reassure myself, even more so now that it was what I wanted more then anything.

"Yes, see." and she let the vision fill her mind of Bella like me, beautiful as ever, but now with red eyes. The vision was sharp and defined, there was no doubt she would be like me.

"And the date of the change?" I asked, eager for more information.

"Nothing as of yet, its blurry, shes undecided at the moment. She hasn't picked a date, not yet anyway." I could tell Alice trying to find a vision but there was nothing to find yet, her mind was murky and grey. Nothing at all had been decided by Bella at this point in time.

"Her change? Can you see it, will it go…ok?" I asked cautiously, afraid of what the reply might be.

Her eyes darted to the left, to Jasper. I noticed.

"What Alice? What is it?" Just that look in her eye made me panic.

"I cant see anything Edward." she said flatly.

My family all stood by, watching and waiting for my reaction.

"Well I guess that's because she hasn't decided yet…..that would be right wouldn't it be?"

_Please say that's why._

"When I think of her decision of her date to change, its hazy and murky, I cant make out anything. I get this as a vision because shes undecided at this point. When I concentrate on her change, I get nothing Edward, nothing but blackness,no haze, no movement, no light, no nothing, Then when I concentrate on her as a vampire, I get her a vision of her as one, somewhere in the middle I lose her, I cant find her and I don't know what it is. All I can tell you is that she is going to be one of us, but I cant tell you when yet, and I defenitily cant tell you how she deals with the change." As she finished telling me she took me through her visions in her mind. I could almost feel her concentrating on Bellas change, puring all her energy in to trying to conentrate on that one vision, but there was nothing but blackness, no haze, no fog, just still unmoving blackness. It was unnerving. The only time her visions went black was when the wolves were involved, but neither I nor Alice could see how the wolves would be involved. Permission had been granted for the bite to take place, and this situation didn't involve them. I felt myself getting distraught at the thought, racking my mind for possible scenarios for why Alice couldn't see the change. I came up with nothing. I could only be reassured by the vision of Bella as one of us. At least I knew she would be with me at the end of it. That gave me something to look forward to, something to quieten the unsettled feeling I felt.

"It will be ok Edward." Alice said softly.

I nodded.

_I hope so._

Just then Bella came back down the stairs and holding her phone.

"Im all planned for tomorrow" she said smiling, then she came up and kissed me on the cheek.

I wrapped my arms around her pulling her towards me, and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you." I whispered full of emotion.

"I love you to" she whispered back, grinning widely, obviously unaware of what I had just learnt.


	15. Visits and Gifts BPOV & EPOV

*** This chapter contains sexual content****

Our time at Charlie's went well. Even though they would never say out right to each other they missed each other, it was obvious to me that Bella had missed Charlie a great deal, and he also felt the same way. Lunch went well, and I managed to look like I pretended to eat. I tried my best to enjoy my time with Bella and her father, but I couldn't help my mind from drifting to Alice's visions. The more I thought about the emptiness of Alice's vision the more it scared me. I hoped the vision would change once she had set the date for her change. For all I knew, that could be all that was blocking the vision, and that gave me a shimmer of hope, a shimmer of hope I held on to.

Conversation wasn't Charlie's strong point, and we found ourselves in the lounge watching a range of different games, with small bursts of conversations through out the day. Bella seemed content, to sit and just enjoy the company of her father, be it most of in silence. After the game finished Charlie offered Bella a hot chocolate drink before we headed off, and of course she accepted. I was surprised when Charlie brought up our plans for Dartmouth.

"So are you two still heading off to Dartmouth?" even though the question was meant for both of us, he directed the question at Bella.

"Of course, dad." she replied within a heartbeat.

"You don't need help with tuition money do you Bells?" he asked.

I spoke before Bella could reply. "While your offer is appreciated Charlie, I have more then enough money to pay for Bella's tuition. She is my wife now and my money is her money now, she will want for nothing. I will give her everything she needs." I looked over to her and smiled. I didn't mean to sound so over the top about my wealth, but it was true, anything she wanted I would provide for her.

"Well, that's good to know." Charlie spoke. Like his daughter, he didn't care about how much money I had, but I could tell it gave him peace of mind to know that Bella would be financially well off.

"You know," Charlie began, "You two are just starting out with your marriage, your young, have your lives ahead of you, plus you have money. Why don't you two take a year off before going to college? Travel? See the world." Then he chuckled, "plus visit your old man a bit more before you go start your life far away from Forks."

"Oh dad" Bella breathed, and she gave him a hug. "Ill always visit you."

_This isn't going well._

Well I didn't think so.

Going to Dartmouth was going to give us the cover up we needed for her change. If we didn't go and Charlie expected visits, how would her change fit into that?

"Well it's just an idea Bells…Edward" he said looking up at me, finally acknowledging my presence in this situation.

Even though he said my name and looked at me, I knew he was really just telling his daughter. He knew our relationship well enough to know that I would follow her in whatever she decided how true that was.

"Ill think about it" she replied. "But Im not making any promises ok"

"Sure thing kid" he said, clearly relieved he had got what he wanted to say off his chest. It dawned on me then that his daughter leaving would crush him. If she remained human at least he could watch her grow, watch her life change. When I changed her she wouldn't change, she would be forever in this state she is now. Her life would change, but not in the way Charlie would hope. My selfishness still won out, I still wanted her with me forever. We would find a way for her to have enough self control to visit her father. Explaining to him the difference he would clearly see in his daughter, would be another story entirely. How do you explain to your father in law that you're a vampire and you changed your wife into one? I am lucky bullets don't hurt me.

By the time we left Charlie's house it was dark. We had stayed a lot longer then originally planned, but that was fine. However my body was having a hard time with the sexual urges I felt towards Bella. A brush of her hand against me would give me a very painful erection. It was like a lead pipe. I would think of mundane boring things to try to ease the tension in my pants only for her to brush past me again and have the lead pipe back with force. I was mortified, I had practiced self control for years, and hormones would be my undoing. It was embarrassing. A vampire with a raging erection and no where to stick it. It was only the first day of her monthly, how was I going to cope even another day?

By the time we arrived at home my erection had settled, and I hope it would stay that way. I had barely parked the car when Alice opened the door.

"Bella! Come on!" she almost yelled. "We've been waiting for you."

"For me?" she asked cautiously. She never did trust Alice and her surprises.

"Yes, yes, now come on." She grabbed Bella by the hand and literally dragged her into the house.

BPOV

Alice pulled me into the house, where her whole family was standing in the lounge.

"Bella! You're here!" Emmett shouted. "I hope you haven't had dinner. I've started cooking you your dinner, it will be ready soon. Chicken, like you requested. And it smells awful," he laughed.

"Thanks Emmett." I smiled at him. He was the big brother I always wanted. I then noticed presents all over the coffee table.

"What's going on?" I asked cautiously. Im going to be centre of attention again.

_Ugh! Why do they keep doing this to me?_

"Wedding present time!" Alice squealed.

_Oh no_

"Oh Alice, the wedding was enough." I sighed.

"Rubbish!!" she snorted. "You have to have presents, come on which one do you want to open first" she waved her hands over the presents. "And all these presents are wrapped in foil gift paper, no chance of a paper cut tonight."

The whole family laughed. Jaspers little incident was long forgotten, and very much forgiven.

"I guess Ill open this one first." And I picked up an envelope.

"That ones from me" Emmett said.

I opened the envelope to find a voucher for a store in Seattle; it was a delivery docket for a top of the line 50 inch LCD television. I hugged him and thanked him. Where I would put a large oversized TV I didn't know, but I appreciated the gift from him all the same. The next gift was from Rosalie. An envelope attached to a wrapped gift. The wrapped gift was a shiny black blu-ray player; along with a few DVDs she thought I should watch. Inside the envelope was a gift card for a day at one of those spa places in Seattle, that do your hair, and face, and massage, that kind of thing.

"Us girls are all going to take you there in a few days. I think it may be Wednesday, Alice says the weather will be horrible that day, good for us though" Rosalie said.

"It's a girlie day out." Alice could barely contain her excitement.

"That sounds like fun." And I meant it

The next gift was from Esme and Carlisle, and was large and flat. I tried to get Edward to help me unwrap it. Wedding presents should have been for the both of us but he was content to let me take all the glory tonight. The gift was a large photo of Edward and I on our wedding day, framed in a beautiful wooden frame. It was the most wonderful photo. It was taken while Edward and I were on the dance floor, neither of us looking at the camera, unaware a photo was even been taken. We were holding each other, looking at each other with awe, love, adoration, with all the emotion we felt for each other. The photo was perfect. The photo showed how strongly we felt about each other, how we needed each other. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Oh Esme, it's perfect, I love it."

She nodded and smiled. "I thought you'd love it" and Carlisle smiled at her, while putting his arm around her waist. I hoped in a 100 years time Edward and I still looked at each other the same way we did in this photo.

The next gift was from Alice, and she bounced excitedly up and down as I opened her gift. It was in a small box. I opened it…was that a key ring?

I think it is, and a gold one at that. I picked it up and seen the same photo of Edward and I in the space provided for it. I loved it, simply because of the photo. It could have been a tin key ring. I still would have loved it.

"I love it Alice, thank you. Thank you all." I said, holding back tears. Id never been so spoilt in my life.

"That's not all my love." Edward said quietly.

I looked back at the coffee table. "No I think that's it Edward, there's no more gifts on the table"

He smiled my favourite crooked smile.

"Your forgetting one more gift, it's from everyone my love."

"Ok" I stuttered.

Carlisle came forward and placed a key with a bow in my hand.

"I hope this isn't for a ridiculously priced sports car" I joked. Edward would know better then to get me a car. I didn't like driving the Mercedes as it was.

"It's for our house." Edward said.

"What? No way!! Are you for real?" I was almost in hysterics from excitement, and disbelief combined into one, and the tears started to fall. "Is he for real?" I asked the rest of the Cullen family. They all nodded in agreement, all smiling widely at me.

"Oh my god thank you" and I hugged them all, with tears still streaming down my face.

"Now would you like to go see your house?" Edward asked me.

"Hey hey, hang on a minute" Emmett interuppted. "Dinner first."

Yes, right, i will eat dinner first then house."

Emmett went and served dinner, I dont think Id eating so much so fast in my life.

"Do you even breath when your eating?" Emmett laughed.

"No, I think she just inhaled her food." Jasper said chuckling.

I shot them a look, while sticking the last lot of creamy chicken pasta into my mouth. "Just shut up." I said with my mouth full, which sent them into a new round of laugther.

When I finished I showed Edward the empty plate. "House now?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes please." I said while washing my plate. "Thanks for dinner Emmett, it was so yum!"

"No problem" he called from the living room.

We began to head out the front door. "Aren't you guys coming?" I asked the others.

"No" Esme replied softly. "We will let your enjoy your present in private."

"Ill be there bright and early in the morning to hook up your TV Bella." Emmett called out.

I nodded. "Thank you" I spoke to all of them. Hoping Jasper could feel the gratitude and appreciation I was feeling, and share it with his family.

Edward guided me down a path that wasn't far from the house. I hadn't even noticed the path before, let alone realize there was a house at the end of it.

Then I saw it, a small stone cottage. A hut in contrast to the Cullen's mansion, but I loved my little cottage the moment my eyes saw it. I walked up to the cottage resting my hand on the arched wooden door.

"Home." I said softly.

"Home" Edward repeated next to, softly rubbing his hand down my back.

I put the key in the lock and turned. Having a key was just a way of the vampires trying to be normal. Vampires didn't need to lock their houses, and they didn't need keys to get into doors they really wanted to get into. I guessed though when the family went away hunting they would lock their houses. I smiled widely to myself, finding the thought of Vampires locking their house quite funny.

I opened the door and Edward and I stepped into the living room of the cottage. It was beautiful. I loved the cottage, decorated in eclectic pieces, not one of them matching another but harmonious just the same. It was a 2 bedroom cottage, one room made into a library filled with books.

"It's amazing." I breathed.

"Yes, Esme and everyone did such a great job." Edward said softly.

I nodded. The Cullen's had quickly become one of the kindest and generous people I had ever met.

I made our way into the master bedroom. The bed, like the bed at Isle Esme, was huge, white, and sturdy. The room had doors that opened up to a small round pond. It reminded me a lot of Isle Esme,

"Wow," was all I could say.

Edward came up behind me, and kissed me gently on the back of my neck.

"Im glad you like it." He whispered

"I love it." And then I turned to him. "And I love you." I stared into his amber eyes, and kissed him gently, softly, lovingly, inhaling his sweet scent. Letting it intoxicate me. I was more then disappointed in the fact that I had my period and I wouldn't be able to make love with Edward on our first night in our house, but there were other things we could do… then Edward pulled away.

"I can't make love to you tonight." he said sadly. I knew Edward could smell the difference, so I never mentioned it to him. He would just know anyway.

"Its alright, I didn't want you to make love to me anyway" I said, I didn't mean it in a harsh way. I was just teasing.

Edwards jaw dropped, and he frowned at me.

"You don't want me……" He dropped his arms that were around me to his side.

I smiled.

"I want to pleasure you."

"You do?" he asked, taking me in his arms again.

"Yes. I know you like to make me feel good when we make love, that's not what I mean…." I was serious. "I want to learn how to give you pleasure, when you can't have me." I felt myself blush, as my heart beat sped up.

I felt his hardness between us as he held me close. He kissed me like he couldn't get enough, and it thrilled me. The kiss lingered, we tasted, touched and explored each other.

"I will show you what makes me happy." Edward said his voice husky He took me by the hand and led me to the bed. When he sat down next to me on the bed he kissed me again. I felt him kiss my neck and he was gently pushing me back onto the bed. I felt his cold hand on my breast and it sent a jolt of electricity right through me and directly to my centre.

_No, stop._

_Don't_

_Stop_

_Don't stop?_

_No no no_

Edward was just reaching for my nipple with his tongue when I sat up and pulled away.

"I want to be in charge," I said seriously. "I want to make you feel good."

"Bella, it pleases me so much to give you that feeling. I don't know how it could possibly please me more for you to pleasure me."

I immediately felt disheartened. "Will you…… not like it?" I asked.

I was surprised when Edward threw his head back and laughed.

_Now is not a time to laugh._

He took me in his arms. I smiled at him, but I wasn't sure if I meant it.

"I think I would like anything you did to me." He was looking at me with his vibrant amber eyes. "I love you, woman"

I relaxed, and smiled genuinely.

"I love you, Edward. I feel love when you smile like that, and with your eyes like that, they twinkle."

"Bella" his voice rough and full of need. And he buried his face in my neck, nibbling and kissing.

"Edward, I love when you touch me, kiss in my neck, but I want to know what you like?"

He made a wry grin. "I cant help myself – you encourage me too much. What do I like? Well what do you like, Bella? Do to me, what feels good to you?"

"Will you like it?" I asked

"Try it." He replied.

EPOV

I knew I wasn't going to get 'any' tonight, but I wasn't about to turn Bella away from me and reject her. When it came to much to bear, I would go to the bathroom and relieve myself in there.

Bella pushed me back onto the bed, removing all my clothes for me, and then she bent over the top of me to kiss me. Opening her mouth and using her tongue. I responded but kept myself in check. Restraining from flipping on her back and ravaging her. She kissed my neck, and I felt her tongue flick lightly. I shiver unintentionally. She looked at me, waiting for confirmation that it was ok.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes Bella, I like it."

_I like it a lot._

Restraining myself under her tentative advances fired me up more then I had ever dreamed. Her light kisses seared through me. She kissed my neck again and I quivered. I closed my eyes, giving myself into the feeling, while trying to hold on to the small shred of control that I had. Bella moved lower, making ticklish wet circles on my body. I was being tortured. Exquisite torture, part tickle and park searing stimulation. When Bella reached my navel I couldn't stop myself. I felt myself put my hands on her head and gently pushed her lower until I felt her hot cheek against my cold hard shaft.

_What am I doing? Im insane!_

_Im a pervert of the worst kind._

Yet I couldn't pull away.

Bella looked up me.

"Edward, do you want me to….."

_FUCK YES._

_No it's not right_

"Only if you want to, Bella."

"It would please you?"

_FUCK YES it would please me._

_No, it's not right._

"It would please me." She said softly

"I want…" was all I could say. I wanted to tell her she didn't need to do this, but it was too late. I felt moist warmth enclose the end of my throbbing manhood.

"Fuck" I groaned.

_I don't care if Im a pervet. This is amazing_.

I felt her tongue explore the smooth round head, probed the small fissure, exploring the texture of my skin. I groaned and growled continuously. The more reactions she gained from me, the more confident she became, sucking and flicking her tongue harder and faster. I felt her circle my shape with her tongue.

"Bella!" I cried out

She moved her tongue faster. I felt suction; I felt moist warmth moving up and down.

"Oh, Bella, oh woman!! Bella, Bella!"

I could tell she was trying to discover how much she could hold. And I felt her draw me into her mouth until she almost gagged. My cries and moans getting louder and more frenzied. I wasn't going to last much longer. She took me into mouth, again and again until I was rising to meet her.

"Im….gonna come" I groaned.

With that she sped up her sucking action, and without warning she suddenly grabbed my balls kneading them with her free hand. My breath caught, I felt a surge I couldn't have controlled even if I tried and I came in her mouth, crying her name as I released.

It took me minute to find myself again. I felt dazed and disorientated.

"That was incredible Bella."

"Glad you liked it" she smirked

"I wish I could make it up to you" I said softly, pulling her up to face me.

"Oh you will" she said teasingly. She cuddled up to me, and within minutes of me humming her lullaby she had drifted off to sleep.


	16. Sharing secrets

I was slightly annoyed when Emmett marched into our cottage early in the morning waking Bella from her sleep. I tried to tell him to be quiet, but he couldn't help but yell from the living room, telling me to come and have a look at how great it looked on the wall.

Bella's scrunched her face, and rubbed her eyes. "Is that Emmett?" she croaked.

"Yes," I said, making no attempt to hide my annoyance for him.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"6.30, go back to sleep my love."

Emmett obviously heard her voice and came walking into the bedroom, making no attempt to knock should we be in a less then appropriate position.

"Bella you have to come and look at this, you'll love it."

I shot him an annoyed look.

"What?" he said, he clearly had no idea.

Bella let out a sigh, "well Im awake now, give me a minute to get showered and dressed and Ill come look at the big flash telly." looking at Emmett, who was clearly pleased at her statement.

"You don't need to get up now my love, it's early."

"It's alright" she said, and then to Emmett letting him know that he wasn't in trouble. "Besides I want to be up and ready before you guys leave on your hunting trip."

_Dam. I had forgotten about that._

Bella disappeared into the ensuite.

"Well?" Emmett asked, "Are you going to get up and come and look at the TV or what?"

"Well do you want to give me a minute to get decent then," I retorted.

He laughed. "Don't make me pull that blanket off you man."

"There's nothing wrong with this blanket, it's for Bella, you know shell get cold at night without one" I was right, she would, it was the only reason we had them. But I was thankful for the privacy the blanket gave me now; I hadn't got around to putting clothes on after last night, instead preferring to pull the blanket on us.

"Whatever, just hurry up. Im going to go get the blu ray player and hook that up to. I expect you" he pointed at me, "to be out of bed and ready for the demo on how to work the TV when Im done. Ill tell Alice to start breakfast for Bella to." and then he was gone.

I got out of bed and went to the closet. I had decided I would shower after returning from my hunt. I went into the living room; the TV did look nice up on the wall. My mind drifted, I could hear the water shut off in the shower and Bella drying herself off. The smell of shampoo wafting through the house. I was sad at the thought I would be leaving her today, but it would be ok.

_I will be fine._

Emmett returned quickly connecting the blu ray player to the television, by the time Bella emerged into the living room Emmett had finished setting everything up. He talked us through all the channels and settings. Bella lost him after he started talking about HDMI and Live Pause, and left me to deal with the rest of the instructions. After Emmett was pleased enough with how I handled the remote we headed back to the family house so Bella could have breakfast.

BPOV

"You guys can go now, seriously, you don't need to wait around for me to finish my breakfast, and by the way Alice, Im loving these waffles." She grinned back at me.

"You might just have to heat up the lasagna in the fridge for dinner Bella; I made it during the night since I don't think well be back in time for dinner."

"Oh thanks Alice, that'll be great." I had just finished breakfast and I was already looking forward to dinner.

"So are we going?" Rosalie asked, clearly her questions was directed at Edward. The rest of his family were making there way to the door.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Its fine, really, you can go."

He sighed. I knew he didn't want to leave me, but he had to go, he hadn't fed in almost 2 weeks now.

"Ill be alright, Ill watch TV or something before going to La Push, oh….and Im going to take the Volvo." I said shyly, unsure on how he would react.

"Why not take the guardian?" I hated that black tank of a car. Its screamed, look at me!!

"I want to take the Volvo" I repeated, almost whining to try get my way.

"Do you want another car? We could get you another car." he offered.

Before I had time to think, the words came out. "You get you another car, I want the Volvo." And I swung the car keys in front of him.

"Ok, it's yours, are you sure you don't want a brand new one?"

_Did he just seriously give me the Volvo?_

_I think he did._

_I guess I am his wife now……..and I do like the Volvo_.

"No no, I like that Volvo." I said firmly, "Now before you distract me any longer, you need to go, your family is waiting for you Edward."

"I know, I know" he breathed. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I will miss you today, and I will be thinking about you the entire time."

"I know, I will be doing the same." I whispered back to him.

"Be good" and he kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave.

I smiled; my perfect vampire was still a little bit insecure about the wolf. There was no reason to be.

"Always." I said. " Oh and Edward" he turned to face me. "Um if you come home and Im not in the cottage Ill be in your room here. Im just more use to being in this house at night."

"Of course" Edward nodded, and headed out the door to his family.

I finished eating the last waffle. Then went and washed the plate and put it away.

Now what?

The house was immaculate. I couldn't even clean anything to do my share to help out about the house. Must be one of the perks about not being able to sleep. So much time. It was only 7.30. Far too early to text Jacob. I rummaged through the cupboards and fridge and decided to bake a chocolate cake. If I timed it right it should be cooled and iced by 10.30. I loved the cake mix that was left in the bowl, and I saved myself a little bit of cake mix in the bowl while the rest went in the oven. I took what was left in the bowl and headed into the living room, plonked down on the couch and flicked on the TV. I hadn't had cake mix in a long time, and this was good. I suddenly realized it would be the simple things like this that I would miss when I was changed. Not that cake mix was a important factor of my life, but to think that I could never again bake a chocolate cake, eat the mix, then eat the cake was kind of….sad. I knew, soon, I would have to talk to Edward about this. I had to get to him and talk about it before the family meeting was arranged.

I sat and watched Underworld on a movie channel. I laughed at the whole vampire and werewolf concept. Some things were similar, most things were not, but yet I sat and watched the entire movie. Amused at the outfit the main character wore. Even as a vampire, would a skin tight, PVC body suit really be that comfortable. I didn't think so.

The oven buzzer went off; telling me the cake had been cooked. It smelled delicious, the aroma of the cake floating throughout the kitchen. I pulled it out the tin and put in on a cake rack to cool. I then pulled my phone out my back pocket to text Jacob.

B: Still on for today? Im making a cake.

J: AWSUM! I like cake. Lol.

B: Ill be there around 11ish at the latest. Just have to ice cake.

J: Ok that's cool. Will see you then.

B: Yup. See u soon.

By the time I finished icing the cake it was almost twenty to eleven. I picked up the cake, my phone, and the keys to the Volvo, locked the house and went out to the garage. I texted Jacob to let him know I was just leaving the Cullen's house.

JPOV

I could hardly contain my excitement. Bella was coming to visit me. I didn't care if it was because Edward was away hunting for the day; the fact was she visiting me. I had my best friend back. I heard the gentle hum of the engine of the Volvo coming down the road and then parking outside. I wondered what happen to the black car, it was like missile proof or something ridiculous like that.

"Do you need a hand?" I called out to her from the porch.

" No no," she waved me off, "Im fine."

She grinned at me as she walked past me, holding the cake tentatively in her hands. She went inside and placed it on the table.

"Hi Billy" she said cheerily.

"Hey Bella, nice to see you"

"You to." She replied. She turned back to me. Took a breath. A big smile spread across her face. "Jacob."

With that I reached for her and hugged her. "Its good to have you home Bells."

"Good to be back" she replied. "Uh do you want cake now, or later?"

"Ahh later" I decided. "You wanna hit the beach?" I asked.

"Yeah sure" and with that we were out the door and heading down towards the beach. I felt calm, relaxed, everything felt normal, carefree with Bella now. We laughed and chatted away about all sorts of things. The pack, her cottage, Isle Esme, she spared me the gory details thank god.

When we reached the beach we picked up stones and walked aimlessly along the beach throwing stones into the water.

"Its nice to have you back, Jacob. I thought…..Id lost you" she spoke quietly

"I know, it wasn't you…..it was never you…..It was me, this is how we are meant to be Bella, best friends, it doesn't hurt me to be with you like this. Im just glad you've forgiven me for being such a jerk and are still my friend."

"Oh Jacob. Thank you, thank you so much for being my friend. I feel the change in you, I feel it in me. This is just how it's meant to be, Im so glad we didn't lose our friendship."

With that we reached for each other and hugged each other tightly. For a moment there, I was thankful for Edward. What other man would let his wife freely visit another man, knowing our past, knowing how close we were. I guess there was a good side to him after all.

After our embrace, Bella and I continued to walk along the beach until we found a log to sit on, chatting about everything and anything, but at the same time nothing overly personal.

I decided I wanted to bring her change up.

"So was Edward pleased about the treaty, you know, how it's not going to break it?"

For a second there, I swear to god I saw panic flash in her eyes.

"Yeah that would be an understatement." She laughed, but it seemed forced. "He's very happy about it Jacob, I can't tell you how much it means to him, to us."

"But?"

"But what?" she asked.

"I know something's bothering you. Are you not happy I gave permission?"

_Surely it's not that, that made no sense._

"Oh god yes, I absolutely love that you gave permission. You don't know how much I've worried about that, how it would work. What would happen? You have got me so much closer to having my dream come true. To be like him."

"Then what's wrong Bella? I know something isn't right. What is it? You can tell me. Is the date soon? Are you changing soon?" I instantly starting rambling. "Is it like next week? Shit, it is isn't it? So soon? Did it have to be so soon?"

"Jacob" she almost yelled, pulling me out of my ramblings. "Shut up. Its not that, It's more that…………."

"Bella?"

She let out a deep breath and hung her head, and the words I thought I would never her say came out of her mouth,

"Im not ready to change yet." She said so softly, it was almost a whisper.

_Huh? What? I thought she always wanted to change, the sooner the better was my interpretation of how she felt._

She tried to explain her self. "I love him Jacob, I love everything about him. I want to be with him forever. I want to be like him, I want to be a vampire, but I just don't want it yet. I could change next year, before I turn twenty. I don't need to change anytime soon, do I?" the question was one she had obviously been asking her self for quite some time now.

"Well then don't change until your nearly twenty then." Problem solved I thought. "So what did Edward say on the matter. I bet he was pleased that you wanted to wait."

The way she looked at me, I knew she hadn't told him. He had no idea.

"I think he wants me to change sooner now, he's all for picking out the date of my change, and Im sooooo not."

"Have you talked about it with him?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because I know if I do everything will turn to……shit."

"To shit? How?" the word shit didn't explain much to me.

"He's been against changing me from day one, and if I show any sign of been unwilling to change it will be even more difficult to convince him to do it when I am ready. On top of that, he now feels that he's ready for me to change soon and if he found out that I don't feel the same way….it would crush him, literally. Even if I did change at a later date I don't think he would ever recover from that, and then have to live with that for eternity would be painful. He's so happy now, and I just can't bare to tell him. Im so glad he can't read my mind. On top of that, I don't think I really want him there when I change, I mean I do but I don't…..I just know what he's like, it'll be torture for him and hell live with the guilt from it…forever….as in really for forever, all eternity. How do you deal with that?" Her face scrunched at the pain, she knew Edward would feel if she would tell him these things.

"Wow Bells, that heavy, but he's your husband Bella, he loves you. You need to talk to him about this. This is a big deal. Can you imagine changing before your ready, how you might feel towards him for that? You might end up resenting him for it, even hating him for it. I don't think you could even live through that Bells, vampire or not." I reached for her hand, to comfort her. This was obviously something she had dwelled on her over the last few weeks. I wondered what brought the sudden change in her.

"Why do you wan to wait?" I asked.

"Lots of reasons" she said simply. I remained silent, hoping she would continue. "I would miss eating chocolate cake" she smiled, and I nodded, waiting for her to carry on. "I would miss doing things at human speed. Edward always offers to carry me, and I wonder if when Im like him we will run everywhere, never really enjoying just walking and enjoying each others company. I will miss Charlie while I try and learn self control. I will miss the sun, not that there's much here. Its lots of little things I guess."

"Fair enough Bella. It will work out; you just need to communicate with Edward a bit more I think."

"Why thank you Dr Phil."

I laughed out loud. "Only trying to help Bells."

She smiled and looked out at the ocean. "I know" she looked back at me, "Thank you. It does feel good to talk to someone about it. You are right though I am going to have talk about it with Edward."

It suddenly occurred to me that wouldn't of the pixie one seen Bella's indecision.

"Has Alice not seen it happening? I mean you not changing, has she seen it?"

"No I don't think she has, all she sees at the moment is the end result which could happen at any given time. She doesn't see the change yet because I haven't decided when it will happen. The only way I have managed keeping things from her is being undecided. It hasn't been hard because I am genuinely undecided. She also wont get a vision of me talking to Edward about this because I haven't decided if I will or not yet. If I keep it like this, it's more likely I will just explode one day and Alice wouldn't have seen it coming."

"Sounds like a plan." I laughed.

"It's the best I've got so far." She replied with a chuckle.

"It'll be ok" I said trying to reassure her.

"Anyway enough about me" Bella said. "What's up with you?"

"Me? Nothing much."

"Well tell me about how your persuaded the pack about giving Edward permission to bite me" she asked.

So I told her how it all went down, she was so proud of me for standing up to Sam. She thought I was a true Alpha. I didn't consider myself as Alpha, and I didn't consider it to be standing up to Sam. I saw it as simply defending my best friend and the decisions she was making. I told her pack patrol had got relatively boring, it had been quiet on the home front that we laxed a little bit. Now only 3 wolves doing patrols at night. It basically meant we only had to work 2 or 3 nights a week. Any vampires that may suddenly appear could be easily dealt with, as vampires, normal vampires that weren't vegetarians, they tended to travel alone, and if back up was necessary it was merely a howl away. But even with nomad vampires being not much of a threat, the werewolf gene would continue, simply because the Cullen's still lived here.

The sun was high in the sky when we made our way back to the house; I had offered to make lunch since Bella had provided the cake. I just made sandwiches for lunch, using a whole loaf of bread. Bella had two sandwiches while I ate the rest of the loaf. I even managed to eat half the cake, while Bella had two slices. We sat on the porch eating our lunch watching the clouds grow dark grey and change.

"Looks like a thunderstorm coming this way" Billy said as he wheeled past the front door.

"Yeah" I replied. So much for going back down to the beach. I looked over Bella who was looking a little bit uneasy, as she stared at the sky.

"You alright?"

"Uh…yeah. It's just all the Cullen's are gone on a hunting trip and won't be back until late tonight, Im kind of freaking myself out over being in that oversized house in a thunderstorm."

Without thinking I blurted out. "Do you want me to stay with you until the Cullen's return, Ill stay in the lounge."

_What a horrid idea. Staying in that stinking house_.

"Oh. Would you? You don't mind do you? Id appreciate it."

"Yeah sure thing, it'll be fine." I wondered if I could get nose plugs.

After helping tidied up, Bella asked if I would like to have dinner with her at the Cullen's. When she mentioned lasagna I had agreed straight away. I had decided I would travel to The Cullen's house with Bella, then phase and run home when it was time to come home. It was actually faster that way. I had never been in the Volvo before and it stunk so bad it hurt my nose, it was like sniffing bleach.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Car stinks" I winced. I couldn't even wind the window down because now the raining was pouring down.

"Oh Im sorry Jake, I hope the house doesn't stink badly."

"It probably will, but I can mange that, it's just that this is a small closed space."

She nodded with understanding.

I had to say I was pleased about the Cullen's internal garage. No running in the rain to the house. Fantastic. Stepping into the house was like stepping into something from a magazine. I wanted to take my shoes and my socks off to walk on there floor. It was so light, and modern. I guess somewhere in my mind I expected the house to be dark and bleak. Thunder roared about the house and I could see why Bella would be afraid to be here by herself. The sound seemed to echo loudly around the house. I was actually surprised Edward hadn't returned with the weather the way it was.

We had decided to play some games on Emmett's Xbox 360. Guitar Hero and Bella kicked my ass. My fingers were too big and bulky and I was forever pushing the wrong buttons, which Bella though was hilarious. She said she liked playing games with me because she at least had a chance at winning. I was surprised when Bella went to see what time it was, and it was almost 6pm. We had playing Guitar Hero for going on 3 hours. She decided she would heat up the lasagna in the oven for dinner. I had a nosey around in the kitchen while Bella prepared the lasagna to eat. I was amazed at the amount of human food they had in the house, they had like….everything. The Cullen's certainly made sure that Bella was taken care of, and I was more then pleased at the fact. The lasagna smelled delicious.

"Do you make that?" I asked

"No Alice did"

I almost choked on my words. "They can cook?"

"Apparently so. They watch the food network; they follow the recipes to a tee"

That would make sense, and I had to admit the lasagna was delicious. After dinner Bella convinced me to watched Underworld with her. I laughed most of the way through it like it was suppose to be a comedy, but I had to admit I found the main character of the movie quite hot, or maybe it was the outfit she was wearing. After the movie we had a couple more turns on guitar hero then put another movie on. She flicked through the channels until she found some Bond movie. It was ok, we chatted away throughout the movie but I noticed Bella starting to fall asleep.

"Go to bed Bells, Ill stay down here, it'll be fine."

She frowned. "Really? I feel like I should stay down here with you seems so rude of me to go to bed and leave you on the couch"

"It's fine." I repeated. I really didn't mind. "When the Cullen's return, Ill go ok. Don't worry about it."

She sighed and stood up, and I stood with her. It felt the polite thing to do.

"Ok then I will go to bed, Thank you Jake, thank you for listening, thank you…for just being you again." and she hugged me tightly. "I appreciate it all" she whispered.

I kissed her gently on the forehead. "Anytime besty" and I heard her chuckle.

"Good night Bells."

"Night Jake" and she turned and left the room heading upstairs to one of the rooms, and I sat back down and went back to watching the movie. I didn't realize it but my eyes were getting heavy, and before I knew it I was asleep.


	17. Edward wants to know

I walked into Edward's room upstairs and flicked the light on. I still had some pyjamas in the wardrobe in this room, thank goodness for that. I had no intention of going to the cottage to get some in this horrible weather. I put on my old dark blue worn out pajamas pants and singlet, turned out the light and made my way in the darkness towards the bed. The rain still poured outside, and on the odd occasion there was lightning and thunder. I was thankful I had Jacob down stairs. I felt so much safer with him here. Having a mythical creature looking out for you made you feel quite…cool. It's not like any of my friends had these kinds of friends. I appreciated Jacob staying all the same, I wasn't worried about burglars, or things that went bump in the night, but being alone in this big house at night with thunder and lightning certainly gave me the creeps. I pulled the blankets up high up around me and listened to the rain falling, but sleep would not come, even though I was dozing off down stairs.

I thought back over the day, and the talk I had had with Jacob, he was right and I did have to talk to Edward about my change. Jacob had brought things to my attention that I hadn't considered before. What if I did change early to make Edward happy, would I regret it? Would I resent Edward for it? Being a newborn I knew if I did resent Edward, I may not be able to control that feeling…..and god knows what I could do as a crazed new born. I would need to talk to Edward, I had to, and I owed it to myself and to him to be honest. I wasn't sure when, and I wasn't sure what I would say but it would have to happen. I just hoped that Alice wouldn't see it coming, the last thing I needed was Edward getting a heads up from her about it.

I had even mentioned to Jacob about how Edward and Carlisle thought I may have a superpower, like some kind of shield. He couldn't stop laughing. All he could see in his head was me running around with a heavy old style, knight's shield that I could barely carry. I had thrown a pillow at him for that remark, but like me, he thought that me having a super natural power was a ridiculous idea. I was glad that at least someone agreed with me on this matter.

The rain had started to ease off a bit, when I heard it….

Is that Jacob snoring?

I got out of bed, tip toed down the stairs and sure enough lying on the couch Jacob was snoring. I would have got him a blanket, but I knew he didn't need one. I turned off the TV and headed back upstairs to the bedroom. I snuggled up into the blankets, feeling alone, this was the first time Id gone to bed alone in a long time. In an attempt to go to sleep I started to count backwards from 100.

Don't think I even made it to 70 before I dozed off.

EPOV

"Bella wants to talk to you" Alice said.

"Huh? What about?" I was confused, what was the big deal about Bella wanting to talk to me.

"I don't know yet, I just know it's a big deal." She shrugged. "All I see is her telling you she wants to talk to you about something, the rest she hasn't decided yet."

"Oh," was my amazing response. I wondered what Bella wanted to talk about. Did Jacob do something today? Was it about her change? Maybe she didn't like the cottage? It could be anything.

"Well I still see her as a vampire, so it's not that" she smiled.

"Good." I replied.

It was going on midnight, and we were still a good 3 hours away from home. I imagined Bella would be safe and asleep now in our bed. As much as I hated the fact she spent the day with Jacob, at least I knew he would keep her safe. I smiled to myself.

"What are you grinning about?" Alice asked.

"Bella" I said softly, I knew the answer wouldn't surprise Alice. What else would I be thinking about?

"I still can't see her, she must still be with wolf boy I guess" she said nonchalantly.

"What? But its midnight, she should be in bed asleep," I blurted it out like I was her dad. I cringed at how terrible that sounded coming out of my mouth.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Rosalie said as she run up next to me and Alice.

"Yup, he did." Alice said.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Gezz pops, you expect your wife to have a curfew? Give me a break!" she ran off in the direction of Emmett, and I knew she told him because I heard his laughter through the forest. I suddenly wanted to pick up speed, and get home as fast as I could. To see if Bella was home, where I hoped she would be.

"Don't even think about it." Alice shot at me. "We left together; we arrive back at home together. It's not that much longer until we are home anyway."

3 hours seemed a long time to me.

We had stopped running before we stepped out into the yard of the house. The ground was wet, but the rain had stopped. We didn't have any rain where we were.

"That was a great hunt" Emmett exclaimed. "Did you see that bear I had, shit that was fun!"

"Yes we know Em" Rosalie replied. "You've told us a hundred times already."

We all chuckled quietly as we came up to the front door of the house.

"Why can I smell dog?" Rosalie asked.

She was right, I could smell it to. I looked down the driveway but there was no sign of Jacob's car.

"He must have come here with her." I offered as an explanation to the smell. At least that meant she was at home.

"What's that sound?" Rosalie asked.

We could all hear it, the sound of a …..chainsaw?

We opened the door quietly, and silently entered the house, quietly shutting the door behind us.

"Oh my god, gross. It stinks of dog in here."

We all nodded our heads in agreement.

"Gezz Edward, I can't believe someone as small as Bella snores like that, it's horrific" Emmett said.

"That's….that's not Bella." I whispered.

We all walked silently into the living room, the smell of dog and snoring getting louder as we approached.

"Holy shit" Rosalie whispered loudly. "There's a god dam werewolf on our couch!"

I couldn't believe it, I stood there dumfounded. Why was he here? Why was he asleep on the couch?

"Wake his ass up" Rosalie said.

"No you will not" Esme spoke softly. "He's obviously here because Bella asked him to stay, we will not be rude to our guest, and you will let him sleep."

She rolled her eyes but listened to Esme. "Well Im not sitting next to him to watch TV, Im going to go shower."

Emmett grinned and followed Rosalie out of the room.

Alice and Jasper soon left the room to, while I stood in the same spot still looking at Jacob asleep on the couch. He hadn't flinched or moved a muscle or stopped snoring since we entered the house. I wanted to wake him up, ask what he was doing here, and ask him if he had a nice day with MY wife. I noticed the guitar hero game open and assumed they had being having challenges. I felt a little sad about that, Bella never played games with me. Esme was right though, Jacob wouldn't be here if Bella hadn't asked him to stay. So my questions would have to wait until morning when I could ask her. I decided to leave Jacob and went over to turn the light off in the living room, as I flicked the switch bright lights filled my mind. At first I was confused until I realized it was Jacob's dreams. His dream was mostly jumbled and garbled, it really held no interest and I proceeded to leave the room when Bella's face fleeted through his mind. I was immediately back over to the couch standing over him. I had no intention of waking him but I felt somehow, if I was closer to him, his dreams would come across clearer to me. It bothered me more then I would like to admit that he was dreaming of Bella, not that he had any conscious control of it. Yet it annoyed me all the same, and I stayed there and let myself read his dreams in his mind.

I saw images of the pack, running together. Bella with a chocolate cake, a passing image of Billy. Bella saying Jacobs name, but then Bella changed into a vampire in what looked like to be a skin clad black suit, but her hair was shorter in Jacobs dream, and she had guns?? That was weird, where did Jacobs mind come up with this stuff. I saw Bella throwing stones into the ocean. She was telling Jacob she was changing, and then I saw a vision of Dr Phil. I saw Jacob hugging Bella, but when she looked back at him his eyes were red but she was clearly sad in his dream. I saw myself in his dream calling to Bella. The dream changed again and he was gone, and Bella had her hand around my throat while I begged for forgiveness. For what? I didn't know. Flashes of lightning and thunder played sporadically through the dream. I couldn't decide whether or not it was nightmare or a dream he was having. I was just glad it didn't contain any sexual content that involved him and Bella, then it would be his worst nightmare.

I decided after a short time I was wasting my time here with Jacob, and headed upstairs to find Bella.

I quietly opened the door to the room and heard her slow even breaths. It was her dreams I wished I could see. It was good to be home. I quietly and slowly climbed on the bed next to her and went to kiss her on the forehead, when I smelt the stench of Jacob. He had obviously kissed her on the forehead at some point today to. I screwed my face up in disgust and chose instead to kiss her lightly on the shoulder. I had missed her so much. Hunting had been good today. I had bloated myself hoping it would help my control over the next few days as I still had to deal with no sex for a few days. I went to lie down and cuddle up to Bella, but then thought better of it. I knew I would wake her up with kisses if I didn't move away from her, and I would only be making things worse for myself, so opted to go and have a shower and change my clothes.

When I finished showering, I heard voices.

_Jacob?_

He was talking to Carlisle.

I changed quickly and rushed downstairs.

"Well we appreciate you staying here with her Jacob. We had no idea the weather was like that. We missed the storm completely." Carlisle finished saying.

"No problem" Jacob replied, he saw me walk into the kitchen. "Hey Edward" he said, in a pleasant tone.

"Jacob" I nodded.

Carlisle turned to me, "Jacob was just saying Bella asked him to stay, they had quite the thunderstorm while we were gone and Bella was a bit afraid to be in the house by herself with the storm. Jacob was gracious enough to stay here for her peace of mind."

_So be nice_, he added in his thoughts.

"Thank you Jacob, I appreciate it"

"No worries" he waved it off, "Anytime, just being a good friend."

I couldn't help myself, I had to ask. "Did you have a nice time with Bella today?"

"Yeah sure it was loads of fun, she makes a mean chocolate cake!" he said cheerfully, "Oh and that pixie one, um…Alice, she makes a great lasagna"

"Well Im glad you had nice day together." And I hoped my tone came across as friendly.

"Yeah we did, it was good to see her again, it was good to talk to her again" He sighed, and I caught snippets of thoughts in his head of them talking on the beach. Something about changing, telling me, giving things up. It was to fast in his head I didn't catch it properly

_How come he knows something Im yet to know?_

"What does she have to talk to me about Jacob?" I demanded. "How come you know about this and I don't. Im her husband for gods sake!"

He suddenly remembered I could read his mind, and his entire demeanor changed.

"Stay out of my head leech" he growled back.

He suddenly blocked his thoughts by reciting Henry the eight lyrics in his head, and loudly at that.

_I'm Henry the eighth I am  
Henry the eighth I am, I am  
I got married to the widow next door  
She's been married seven times before  
And every one was an Henry (Henry)  
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)  
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry  
Henry the eighth I am_

_Second verse same as the first_

"Tell me Jacob!" I ordered, but he wouldn't stop with the lyrics.

He shook his head no.

"If you don't tell me…Ill…"

"You'll what?" he snarled at me. "Go talk to your wife instead? Did you think about that? Did you consider that an option? That might be a good place to start! What Bella told me today she told me in confidence, and I won't tell you so stop asking!! She may be your wife, but she is my friend and I won't betray her trust by telling you a dam thing, not until she wants me to anyway. So if you excuse me, Ill be leaving, tell Bella I said bye." and with that he disappeared outside and into the woods.

I stood there, shocked and stunned. I had not expected Jacob to react like that. I wasn't sure what I expected to be honest, but that wasn't it.

"What was that about?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know, but Im going to find out." And I turned and went back upstairs to the bedroom, intent on waking Bella up to see what the hell was going on.

I was walking down the hallway when Alice stepped in front of me.

"Don't do it." She whispered.

"Don't do what?" I whispered back. We were just outside my bedroom door. Alice must of decided to whisper incase Bella was awake.

"Don't wake her up, and interrogate her….please." she whispered.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Alice…you don't understand. Bella is talking to Jacob about something, and she hasn't told me yet. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"No but I bet Jasper does, and Im sure he'll tell me all about it. But don't wake her up and do this. It will not end well. She is not ready yet to talk to you about whatever is on her mind."

"Ugh! So she is ready to talk to Jacob? But not me? That's ridiculous!" I whispered loudly.

"Have you thought that maybe she hasn't told you yet because you mean more to her, your reaction she does care about, how you feel effects her more then you realize, everything's about you Edward, don't you see that?"

I let Alice's words sink in, and I sighed.

"She will tell you when she's ready Edward, don't force it on her, or you will regret it." And with that she walked away. At that instance, I was quite positive Alice knew exactly what Bella wanted to talk to me about, but she was doing a incredibly good job of blocking it from me.

I leaned my head against the door. It ate at me, the fact Jacob knew something I didn't, but I had to be positive. She simply hadn't told me because I mattered more to her; she wanted the timing to be right. So I would wait, I would be patient, I wouldnt bug Alice for information, and when Bella was ready she would tell me whatever it was that I was dying to know.

No sex, my wife telling another man her secrets. This was one my hardest days ever.

**

"Good morning my love," I said softly as Bella opened her eyes at around 8 am that morning.

"Your home" she said quietly and cuddled up to me, and I held her in my arms enjoying the feel of her against me.

I had missed her so much.

Then Alice barged into the room. I couldn't believe it. 2 mornings in a row we had been interrupted.

"Wakey wakey rise and shine Bella!" she squealed. "You need to get up, come on, we are going soon."

She turned her head to Alice. "What? Where are we going?"

"Seattle remember, the spa, come on lets go, the earlier we go the more time we can spend there. The weather is horrible and overcast all day so we can even swim in the pool there. It'll be fun, now come along" she started pulling Bella gently. Bella pulled herself away from me and my body ached for her to come back to where she was.

The last thing I saw of Bella that day was Alice dragging her out the door while Bella gave me an apologetic smile. I couldn't believe it, 3 days back in Forks and Id spent hardly any alone with her. Tomorrow would be a different day. Tomorrow it would just be me and Bella and no one was going to screw up my plans and no one was going to interupt us.


	18. The meadow

I was acting like an ill-tempered 17 year old teenager. I had moped and sulked around the house the entire day that Bella was in Seattle with the girls, no activity could keep me distracted from the fact that I missed her. I had assumed they would be home late after noon. I was wrong. I was none to pleased when the girls arrived home after 10.30pm and Bella was asleep in the car. Alice had said she had a long day at the spa and they had been walking around the shops and not to wake her. Alice assured me she had had lunch and dinner so wouldn't be hungry. I was glad to have Bella home, but still felt irritable simply because she wasn't home when I wanted her to be. It wasn't something I would take out on Bella though; I wanted to take it out on my family. I picked Bella up carefully from the car, and without saying a word to Alice I stormed off to the cottage with Bella in my arms.

I laid her down gently in bed and kissed her forehead.

"Edward?" she breathed.

"Yes my love you're at home, go back to sleep." I whispered.

"K" was all she managed to say, and with that she drifted back off to sleep.

I stormed back to the house, ready to give someone, anyone a piece of my mind.

"Settle down Edward," Rosalie said before I could say anything, "Get a grip, shezzz it was one day."

"Plus yesterday! That's 2 whole days I haven't got to talk to MY wife." I emphasized the word MY.

"2 days, whoopee" Rosalie continued. "You have forever, get over it"

She had a point, but I didn't want to admit it.

"Well it's just that we got back from our honeymoon, and it's like I've spent no alone time with her at all! Jacobs spent more time with her!!" I knew I sounded like a whining teenager.

"Whatever." Rosalie said, I could tell she didn't really see what the big deal was. "Not that you would care, but she had a lovely day today."

"Well…..that's nice." I stared to calm down; acting like a fool wasn't getting me anywhere. "Well tomorrow Im taking Bella out for the day, so I hope no one has any plans with her tomorrow because they aren't going to happen."

"Yeah we know, Alice told us." Emmett said.

"Where is Alice?" I asked. I just noticed now that Jasper and her were not in the house. I couldn't hear their thoughts anywhere.

"Her and Jasper have gone for a hunt tonight" Esme said.

"She knows what Bella wants to talk to me about doesn't she?" There was no reason for them to go hunting, we had just gone yesterday.

"I think so." Esme replied.

I could tell by my families' thoughts that they had no idea what it was about. Alice had obviously taken off so I wouldn't spend the night trying to break into her mind. Which I would have, but Alice would return when I left with Bella in the morning.

Well if Bella is going to talk to me tomorrow about something that is on her mind, there's no reason why it still can't be a nice day out for us. So I packed that car for the following morning, just a blanket, and I made some of Bella's favourite things that I made for her to eat and put them in the picnic basket. I put her bag in the boot of the car to knowing it had her lady products in there, among all of her other things she carried. I saw her phone in the bag and checked it but there were no messages, or phone calls. I don't know why I checked it, my own insecurities getting the best of me I guessed.

**

It turned out that today was going to a rare day in Forks, the sun was shining, but that wasn't going to stop me from taking Bella out for the day.

"Morning sleepyhead." I said as she rose from her sleep.

"Hey" she said and rubbed her eyes. I noticed her nails were done nicely. She simply looked at the nails then me and said "Alice."

I grinned at her, and her answering smile took my breath away.

"I've missed you." She said softly.

"As I have missed you." I said back to her.

I was losing myself in her eyes, but I didn't want anything to happen and I end up with an unrelenting erection for the day. So I quickly changed the subject

"Well you have to get up and get ready again this morning my love, Im taking you out today."

A large smile spread across her face, but she had noticed the sun shining through the window.

"But it's sunny" she replied.

"It doesn't matter, where we going it will be fine, just put some good walking shoes on unless you want me to carry you"

Her face scrunched up. "I can walk Edward; Im sure Alice has some good walking shoes in the closet for me."

I chuckled. I bet there were more then 3 pairs for her to choose from.

"Oh and Edward, I want to talk to you about something today, but it can wait, I don't want to talk about it now." She seemed almost shy when she brought it up, but I felt the wave of relief wash over me. The fact that she wanted to communicate with me made my heart soar. This is what I had wanted to hear.

"Ok, when your ready Bella, well talk." I would not force it out of her, or pry. I just wanted to let her know that I was here for her to talk to, to listen, and to understand. No matter what she said we would deal with it together.

She smiled, "Good, this……this is a good thing, to communicate, us having this talk will be ok" But she seemed to be talking to herself.

"Ill have a shower, get changed and have breakfast and then we'll be leaving will we?" she asked.

"Yup, that's right." I said. I was in such a good mood today, nothing could ruin it.

**

Bella has refused to let me carry her once we parked the car and headed into the forest to find the meadow. She was quiet a lot of the way, I guessed she was going over in her mind what she wanted to talk to me about. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking but thought better of it. I was equally as quiet, my mind wandered over the many things that she could want to talk to me about. Some things good, some things bad. My mind forever weighing the options. I thought by now that Alice would have returned and by now she would have told the rest of the family of what Bella wanted to talk to me about.

It took 3 hours at human speed to reach the meadow, but Bella was pleased she had made the entire way there without tripping over once.

"Yes that's quite a feat my love, walking a whole 3 hours and not falling flat on your face." I joked.

"Oh shhhhh you" she said cheekily while giving me a whack on my backside.

"Its still as beautiful here as I remember, its overgrown a bit more though I think, Im glad you brought us back here today, it was such a good idea."

"I thought you'd like it" I said as I observed her looking around the meadow, this place held some special memories. I hoped this meadow would always remain this beautiful for many years to come.

"How about we sit right in the middle of the field and have our picnic?" she said and started walking off ahead me, not giving me a chance to answer. She stopped where she wanted to sit and waited for me to lay the blanket out and set the picnic out.

Once I had laid the picnic blanket out in Bella's chosen spot, I laid down on my side on the blanket and she sat down in front of me leaning back on me, while fishing around in the picnic basket for something to eat and drink. We sat talking and laughing the entire time. She said she had asked Jacob to say, the thunderstorm was pretty bad and it had gave her the creeps. She told me the story how he had stood up to Sam to defend her decision to change. I had to say I was impressed. Bella told me about her day at the spa, and Alice's annoying need to go into every single store and buy something. Bella decided Alice would never survive if she was poor, and she was right. I waited patiently for her to bring up what she wanted to talk about but it didn't happen. I didn't mind too much though. It would happen sometime today and I was to busy enjoying my time with her now I didn't want to ruin it.

Eventually she lay down next to me, resting her head on my arm while we both looked at the clouds.

"Looks like an elephant" she said as she pointed to a large white cloud.

"That one looks like a car." I said pointing to a different cloud.

"I want you," was the next thing she said to me. It caught me totally off guard.

"Don't play with me Bella," my voice sounded hoarse. I almost wanted to push her away; to save myself before another painful erection caught me off guard.

"Play with you?" she said. I could see the hurt filling her eyes.

I had been so wrapped up in what Bella had wanted to talk to me about I had not noticed that Bella smelt…normal.

I quickly but softly pulled her close to me, "Im sorry Bella, I hadn't realized we could….be together. But how? Its only been a few days?"

"A perk of contraception I guess" she shrugged. She didn't care. It was gone, that was all that mattered. "As I was saying" her voice was sultry and like music to my ears, music that talked to a certain part of my body only. "I want you Edward Cullen. I want you now."

I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth. I shook with the strain of trying to maintain some kind of control. The desire I felt for her was intense, violent, it crippled me with pleasure. A few days had been far too long to not have her close to me. I tried to control myself but the feelings coursing through me were like a dam bursting free, it was too much. I grabbed Bella and kissed her, a hard, mouth bruising, desperate kiss. The next instance I had rolled myself on top of her, my hands at her belt trying desperately to unbuckle it.

I felt Bella trying to help me, but I couldn't wait. I grabbed at the waist of her jeans and with both hands, and with the strength of my denied passion that I couldn't deny anymore I yanked them off her, tearing them at the seams. Bella heard them rip but didn't care; she just reached for me pulling me to her. I barely pulled my pants down barely below my backside and I was back on top of her. I was wild in my frenzy as I searched for her opening with my throbbing shaft.

Bella reached down to help me, to guide me. I could smell her intoxicating arousal, she was so ready. I sunk myself into her, thrilling to the sensation of her depths enclosing around me. I pulled back and then filled her again. Bella pushed up to meet up, pushing her place of delight hard against me.

"Bella!" I cried out in unbelievable joy. It had felt that way from the first time, we fitted together, matched each other. Her warm depths for my cold size, as though she was just made for me and I for her. How I had missed this, how I had missed her, how I wanted her. How I loved her. I drove in, feeling the warm wet caress of her envelop me.

Powerful surges of pleasure washed over me, the intense feelings of delight came in waves that matched Bella's and my movement. I drove into Bella again and again. I felt her reaching for me, digging her nails in my back which tickled and sent new sensations throughout my body, while she cried my name in pleasure. With wild abandon, with no restraint, I plowed into her, faster and faster and she met me every time. I felt the tension growing in my body, waiting for its release, building with every thrust until I reached my peak and the last wave of pleasure washed over me.

The smell of our sex dazed me, but I loved it, savoring this feeling, never wanting to end. The taste of Bella still sweet and warm in my mouth intoxicating me. I wanted more, but I was distracted by a sound…

I heard Bella scream.


	19. Three different ways

I realized that the sweet taste of her in my mouth was her blood.

I heaved myself backwards off her landing at least 10 yards away from her, her blood running down my chin.

_No no, please no._

I heard Bella's phone ring in her bag. I already knew who that would be. It would have been Alice; she would have seen this happening. The minute I kissed her, knew I could have her, Alice would have seen this. They would be coming.

I wiped the blood off my chine with disgust. How could I do this, How could I be so careless?

I looked at my beautiful Bella. I had bit her along her shoulder. Her hand covering the bite but the blood still seeped through her fingers, getting caught in her hair and soaking into her shirt. I immediately made my way over to her.

"Get away from me," she screamed.

"Bella, Im ok I won't hurt you, I can suck the venom out, Im sorry, Im so sorry, please I can help you."

"Just stay over there Edward." She yelled, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Bella Im sorry, Im sorry, please let me help you." I pleaded with her. The venom would be spreading, at this rate I wouldn't be able to suck it out, and it would be too late. I attempted to approach her again but she threw her hand up and yelled at me again.

"I said stay away from me!!!"

"Bella" I sobbed. "Please, please let me help you. I have to get you home; you have to let me help you. I can't just sit here and watch, please Bella, Im sorry, Im so sorry. It will be ok, we will be ok." I begged her to listen to me, pleaded with her but she wouldn't hear any of it. I was waiting for the screaming to begin, when the venom would burn her. How was I going to cope with that, out here in the meadow? I knew my family would be coming, but would she listen to them? Would she be capable of even listening?

She stared at me tears falling from her eyes. Theses would be the last tears she would ever cry before the venom changed her.

It was then I smelt it.

"Fuck" I said out loud.

"Bella we have to go, someone's coming."

"Who?" It was the first time she had spoken to me with out yelling. I didn't get the chance to answer as Jacob in werewolf form came crashing out of the bushes at top speed, followed by Quil and Embry. I saw Bella pull the blanket around her, because of course, I being the animal husband that I was ripped her pants off her.

Jacob skidded to a halt and approached slowly, choosing to remain in wolf form. Where ever he came from, he had obviously heard Bella scream. His mind at the moment was relatively quiet and questioning, he didn't know what he had just walked into. He was starting to think he had just crashed a rather good session of lovemaking. I could hear him sniffing, and he walked straight to Bella, and then he saw it, her hand still covering the bite, the blood in her hair, on her hands, on her shirt.

He howled a long agonizing howl.

_You son of a bitch!_ His mind roared. His head turned to me and he growled menacingly.

"Jacob" Bella barely whispered, and his head shot towards her, walking right up to her. She fell against his body and he whined.

"Bella" I pleaded, "my family will be here soon, it will be ok."

_It won't be ok!_ Jacob's thoughts shouted. _This isn't what she wanted you tool! Not yet anyway_.

"How would you know?" I said to him angrily.

He replayed back to me the conversation in his head from their time at the beach.

I fell to my knees.

"Bella" I sobbed, wishing I had tears. "Im sorry, please forgive me."

But she didn't reply. She was still slumped against Jacob. It hurt so much to see she found comfort in him, although I knew now I had hurt her in more ways then one.

"Take me away" she whispered to Jacob. "Get me away from here, please."

He nodded and whined in response, as she slowly climbed on to his back and almost fell on to him. It was like she had no strength, she was barely holding on to whatever humanity she had left in her.

"Don't leave me, don't go." I begged her "Please Bella, don't do this."

I stood up and took a step towards her, but Quil and Embry growled at me. While Jacob just eyed me angrily.

"Bella please." But she didn't answer, and this time Jacob growled at me.

"She is my wife." I yelled in agony at Jacob.

_And you fucked up!_ He yelled back through his thoughts.

_She wants me to take her and I will!_ Then he turned and left with Bella on his back. Quil picked up Bella's bag in his mouth, and they disappeared back into the forest as quickly as they had arrived.

Watching her leave with him, my dead heart shattered into a million pieces of glass, cutting me from the inside, causing agonizing pain everywhere the shattered pieces landed in my body. It was too much. I fell to my knees and screamed and let the abyss of suffering consume me.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, when my family arrived at the meadow.

Emmett simply grabbed me and held me in the air. I didn't care. I was like a limp noodle in his arms.

"Where is she?" he roared.

"She's gone" I sobbed, "She's gone."

"Where?" he continued to yell at me.

"Let him down," Esme spoke softly. The pain I was in, clearly written on my face.

"Jacob took her."

Growls erupted from every member of my family.

"No," I sobbed. "She chose to leave with him, I hurt her. Oh my god, what have I done." And the pieces of my shattered heart dug into me deeper.

Jasper tried to calm me "Let me feel it Jasper, she's feeling the pain now. I don't deserve to not feel this." He nodded and the wave of calm lifted off me.

"Im sorry" Alice kneeled next to me, "She made me promise yesterday that I wouldn't let you find out what she wanted to talk to you about. I didn't see you bite her until it was too late."

"It's not your fault" as much as I wanted to blame her. To demand why she didn't tell me sooner, to point all the blame at her. I couldn't. It was my fault. I was the one that had bit Bella.

"Come on son," Carlisle helped me to my feet. "It will do no good sitting out here in the meadow, we should head home incase we hear something from Bella."

I walked from the meadow back to the car at human speed. Refusing to run fast, my family walked with me, silently.

I don't even remember who drove me back to the house in the Volvo.

Back at the house everyone tried to return to what they would normally do during the day, but the thick cloud of gloominess still hung in the air. I sat in the living room, staring out the window at nothing in particular. Waiting, hoping, praying that Bella would just walk in the door and say gotcha! But I knew that wouldn't happen. It was near evening when Alice sat down next to me, she put her arm around my shoulder.

"That's why the vision of her change was blurry wasn't it?" I asked. "She was undecided, and then how it happened wasn't planned or premeditated, it just happened. There was no hope for her at all, there never was." I hung my head in my hands, ashamed of myself, ashamed of what I had done.

She nodded, "Yes I think that's why I couldn't see when she would get changed." She spoke softly. Im sure she felt at fault for some of this situation, and I wished she wouldn't. "I still can't see the change happening," she continued. "There's still nothing but blackness."

"The werewolves?" I asked.

"No that's not it I don't think." She thought out loud. "With the werewolves its just blackness but I can tell its them you know, I can try go past the werewolves blackness but all I find is more of it………but this blackness I get from Bella's change is different. Like a wall, it's solid. I can't go through it to seek anything. It just won't let me. I've been trying for the last 2 hours to break through and I swear to god that black wall is getting stronger."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"I don't know, what does it mean?" she asked me back.

We sat in comfortable silence together for quite some time when her phone began to ring in her pocket.

"Some one loves me" she said as she pulled her phone out.

We both stared at each other as we read the caller id.

_Bella calling_.

"Answer it" I roared.

She flicked her phone open. "Bella?" she said tentatively.

**

JPOV

It had turned out to be a nice day in Forks. Quil had convinced me and Embry to go on a hike today. Well, not so much a hike but more of a mission. Quil and found a great swimming pool, or so he claimed, in a river up in the forest somewhere. Werewolf or not, Quil didn't have a clue where he was going, or where to find this pool.

"You don't know where your going do you Quil?" Embry asked.

"I do so" he said.

We all laughed.

"It's around here somewhere, Im sure of it" Quil said.

"It feels like we've been walking around in circles," I said.

"It doesn't feel like that, we have been walking around in circles!" Embry said cheerfully.

"Ok" Quil said. "I have no clue where the swimming hole is, I admit it"

"Dumass," Embry and I said in unison.

We all started laughing.

"Some werewolf you are!" Embry poked his finger at Quil, "can't even find a watering hole."

We all laughed again, while Quil tried to defend himself.

"Im in human form here people!!" he retorted, but he started laughing all the same.

And then we heard it, and our laughter abruptly stopped.

"What the hell was that?" Embry asked.

"Some one screamed." Quil said. We all turned our heads in the direction the sound came from.

I don't know how I knew, but I did.

"Bella" I breathed. "It's Bella."

I didn't even take off my new shoes, I phased and I was running. Followed closely by Quil and Embry flanking me on either side. I had never run so fast and it burned but I wouldn't stop. None of us thinking anything particular, we were just heading towards the sound of the scream.

"Fuck" I heard someone say. It was Edward's voice, but I had never known him to use bad language. He was talking to Bella.

"Bella we have to go, someone's coming."

"Who?" I heard her reply. She wasn't yelling, maybe I had just interrupted some kind of steamy love session, yet I crashed out of the bushes at top speed. I skidded to a halt as soon as we were in the clearing.

_Take it slow guys._

We approached slowly, choosing to remain in wolf form; I was still in front with Quil and Embry on either side of me. Why had she screamed? She looks alright from over here.

_What is that smell?_

_Is that blood?_ Quil thought, he was sniffing to.

I didn't care that Edward was there, and I padded straight to Bella, and then I saw it, her hand covering what I could only assume was a bite, she had blood in her hair, on her hands, on her shirt.

I howled a grief-stricken howl. I turned to Edward growling.

_You son of a bitch!_ I yelled in my head.

"Jacob" Bella barely whispered, and I turned back to her and stopped growling. Screw Edward, he can wait. I walked right up to her and she slumped against my body. I whined.

"Bella" Edward pleaded to Bella, "my family will be here soon, it will be ok."

Bella seemed to take no notice of Edward.

_It won't be ok!_ My thoughts shouted. _This isn't what she wanted you tool! Not yet anyway._

"How would you know?" he said to him angrily. Obviously thinking he knew everything.

In my mind I replayed back to me the conversation in his head from Bella's and my time at the beach. Making sure I played all the important parts, the parts he really needed to see.

He fell to his knees.

_Good job._

"Bella" he sobbed. "Im sorry, please forgive me."

But she didn't reply to him. She was still slumped against me.

She lifted her head slightly, "Take me away" she whispered to me. "Get me away from here, please."

I nodded and whined in response, as she slowly climbed on to my back, and wrapped her arms around my neck in an attempt to hold on.

"Don't leave me, don't go." Edward begged her, "Please Bella, don't do this."

Edward stood up and took a step towards Bella and I, but Quil and Embry growled at him.

_Don't even think about coming any closer_ Embry thought

I just looked at Edward angrily.

"Bella please." But she didn't answer, and this time I growled at him.

"She is my wife." He yelled at me.

_And you fucked up_! I yelled back through his thoughts. _She wants me to take her and I will_! And with that we turned and left.

_Grab her bag Quil_

He picked up Bella's bag in his mouth and we disappeared back into the forest. I ran towards La Push, unsure of where I was heading in particular.

"Jacob" I heard Bella whisper, "stop please."

I slowed to a halt, and Bella rolled off me and landed with a thump on the ground.

_Bella!_ But all that came out of my wolf form was a whine.

I phased back to help her sit up, tears were staining her face.

"Jacob..." her voice was barely a whisper, "Promise me you won't leave me……..promise me when this is over youll be there."

I nodded my head, "yes of course Bells, I promise."

"Promise me you wont hurt Edward for this……promise me when Im a newborn you wont let me hurt him…..Im angry Jacob but I don't want to hurt him…..I love him Jacob…I…..I….don't know what ill be like when this is over……please stay with me and when Im awake…..remind me of who I am and who you are to me….and who Edward is….Im afraid…..Ill forget who I am when Im a newborn. Please Jacob, please do this for me."

"Of course Bella, Ill do anything you ask." And I hugged her, and I felt her go limp in my arms.

"Bella!" I cried, but she didn't respond. I tapped her face softly with my hand, nothing. Tears welled in my eyes and then overflowed. I knew the next time she opened her eyes they would be red.

Quil and Embry were in human form beside me.

"What should we do?" Embry asked.

I picked Bella's limp body up in my arms, wrapping the blanket firmly around her.

"Im going to take her to my home. Well figure it out from there. Quil can you go find Leah when we return to La Push. Bella needs to be cleaned up, ask her if she has some spare clothes for Bella to."

"Sure thing." Embry said.

We ran in silently in human form back to La Push, Embry headed off in search of Leah while Quil and I headed to my house with Bella.

Billy wasn't home, and I had no idea where he was. I took Bella straight to my bedroom and laid her carefully down on my bed.

"Bella?" I asked. Still no response.

"Now what?" Quil asked.

"I have no idea." I said. "I don't even know if this is normal" as I gestured towards Bella on the bed, passed out.

"I thought it would hurt" Quil said, "but it doesn't look like it does." And he poked Bella in the arm. No response.

"I know, it's a little weird." And I poked Bella in the arm to. No response. "I thought shed be kicking and screaming or something."

Quil nodded in agreement. We stood there staring at Bella. The blood had dried and it was clumped and matted in her hair. Blood stains on her fingers, and across her face. She looked terrible in comparison to the beauty I knew that she was capable of.

"I wonder where Leah is" I asked. "Someone's got to clean Bella up; we can't leave her like this." I had just finished talking when I heard Embry at the door. I rushed out the room to meet him.

"How is she?" Embry asked.

"Uh…passed out, dead to the world" I answered.

"That normal?" he asked.

"How would I know? Where's Leah?"

"She's on her way. She's none to pleased about Bella being in La Push with Bella being bitten, neither is Sam for that matter. But they understand the situation." Embry finished.

Sam knew. That couldn't be good. As if Embry could hear what I was thinking, he spoke. "Sam's on his way to"

"Great" I said sarcastically. He was the last person I wanted to see, the last person I wanted to explain this mess to.

I went back to the bedroom, standing in the doorway. Watching her and watching the front door at the same time. It seemed to take forever before the others arrived.

Leah come into the house, walked straight past Quil and Embry to look into the bedroom.

"She's a mess" she stated rather matter of factly.

"I know, I need you to wash her, I can't leave her like this but….it wouldn't be right for me to wash her."

"And it's right for me to do it?" Leah snapped.

I shrugged. "It would be better if you did."

"Well your going to have to help me, you're crazy if you think I could do this all myself. I got her some clothes anyway. I don't know if they will fit, but its better then that blanket and stained shirt she has on. Ill go run a warm bath and Ill call for you when Im ready ok."

"Ok" I replied. I walked into the living room, where Quil and Embry sat quietly. Bella probably had no idea how many people cared about her, including my two best friends. We all hoped she would be ok, that she would pull through this. Being a vampire didn't necessarily make you a monster, not anymore. Not now that we knew the Cullen's. I hoped more then anything that she would still be her when she woke up.

"Jacob, come help me" Leah called down the hallway. I made my way down the hallway and poked my head in the bedroom. Bella was covered in an old towel "I can't believe Im doing this" she huffed, but continued "the bath water is just right. I've taken her clothes off, well what she had on. Well take her into the bathroom and lower her into the bath, Ill leave this old towel on her to give her some privacy from your pervert eyes."

Looking at Bella naked was the last thing on my mind at this point in time, but I wasn't going to argue with Leah.

I lifted her body up, she still felt limp and lifeless in my arms. Her skin was still warm. Her breathing slow but even, her change must happen slowly I guessed. I lowered her carefully into the bath, making sure the towel didn't slip to reveal any of Bella's body.

"Keep you hand under her head." Leah spoke. "Here," she passed me a face cloth and I grabbed it with my free hand. "Wipe her face, wipe all that blood away. Might have to wash her hair to. I'll wash the blood off her hands."

I washed the blood out Bella's hair, it was difficult, to hold her and wash her hair, but I done it being careful not get soap suds in her eyes. I wiped her tear stain cheeks softly, and cleaned the bite mark that her leech of a husband gave her. After cleaning it with the cloth, I run my fingers slowly over the bite. It was already starting to heal over. I washed all the blood away that had dried onto her skin. Tears welled in my eyes as I wished I could wash her pain away. I shook them away as quickly as they came, now was not the time to fall apart.

"I think we are done." Leah said.

I nodded.

"Ok you lift her up, Ill take that wet towel off her, and replace it with this dry one. We'll take her back to your room and Ill get her into some clothes."

I nodded again, and done as Leah said. I left the room once placing Bella on another towel that was on the bed, leaving Leah to dry Bella. I waited outside the bedroom in the hallway.

"Is she decent yet?" I asked.

"Yeah come on in" Leah replied.

Leah had removed the towels and Bella laid on my bed, now dressed in Leah's clothes. Even after a bath there was still no response whatsoever from her. Leah passed me her hairbrush, and I took it. I lifted Bella gently and brushed her hair the best I could.

I heard voices at the door, and instantly recognized Sam's voice. I laid Bella gently down on the bed and headed back into the living room. Sam was none to happy I had brought Bella back to La Push, not that I could blame him. He was concerned what the ramifications of having Bella here meant, especially when she woke up. Would she instantly go for the kill? Would she even know who we were? And what would we do as a pack if she did try to take one of us out. My mind could not process that thought, I couldn't deal with this situation alone. I didn't know what I was doing; I was in over my head. I knew it. Sam knew it. The whole pack knew it. After a lengthy discussion, and a meal, Sam finally was willing to see Bella in the room, where Leah, although she wouldn't admit it, had been keeping an eye on her.

"No change" Leah sighed, "she hasn't moved, at all."

"Is that normal?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, I really don't know." I said frustrated. My frustration was not at Sam, or at Leah, or at anyone in particular. It was more that I didn't know how to help Bella; I didn't know how to make this situation better.

"You know who would know." I knew exactly what Sam was implying.

"Are you saying I ask the Cullen's for help?" I asked, almost sarcastically.

Leah spoke up, "What other choice do we have Jacob, none of us know what to do or what to expect."

I clenched my fists; I didn't want to ask anyone for help, especially them. But I knew Sam and Leah were right. "Ok" I sighed. I would do this for Bella, it was the only reason. I wanted Bella to be safe, and if they could help with that then I would gladly accept their help.

"Do you have their phone number or something?" Leah asked.

"Yes, speed dial 1 is Cullen family……don't be stupid. No I don't have their number…………hang on." It suddenly dawned on me, that Quil had grabbed Bella's bag. There was a possibility she had her phone in that bag, along with the Cullen's phone numbers. I ran down the hallway into the living room searching for her bag, which I found on the dining room table. Sure enough there it was, with one missed call. The call must have been made just before we found her. I flicked it open and searched through the contacts. Alice was the first name that came up, and so Alice would be who I rang.

"Bella?" I heard the pixies voice answer carefully.

"No, it's me" I said.

"Jacob, what's going on?" she asked. I could hear Edward in the background, his mouth going a hundred miles a minute. I wished he'd put a sock in it. It's his fault we were in this mess. I wandered if he could hear my mind through the phone. I hope so.

"Look, we are out of our league with Bella, we don't know what's going on. I…I think I need some help."

"Why what's wrong, is she not coping?" I could feel the sorrow and pain in Alice's voice.

"Uh if that's what you want to call it. Id just says she's passed out, like she's asleep."

I heard muffled voices, arguing and then Edward was on the phone.

"What do you mean she's asleep" Edward yelled down the phone.

"Look, if you're going to act like an asshole Im going to hang up" I yelled back.

"Im….Im sorry Jacob. Im just worried. Is Bella ok?"

"She seems ok," I answered. "She passed out, she hasn't woken up yet, and she's completely…..lifeless, she doesn't respond to anything."

More muffled voices.

"Could I see her?" Edward asked.

I took a breath. I couldn't believe I was going to say this.

"Id like to take her home…to your home. It would be better for her there, your family knows what to expect from her. But If I do this, if I let that happen. I tell you now I will not leave her side until she is awake. So don't even think your going to take her out of my arms and shut the door on me. I promised her I would stay with her, and I will do that."

"Of course Jacob, anything, thank you, thank you so much" there were more muffled voices and I heard someone say that Bella was coming home. "When do you plan on arriving here Jacob?" the cocky bastard had that air of confidence about him again. I would love to teach him a thing or two, but I wouldn't out of respect for Bella.

"Give me at least 2 hours; I need to discuss with my pack how we move her."

"OK, we will see you then. Ill keep an eye out for you. Thank you Jacob, you have no idea how much this means to me."

"Im not doing it for you Edward." And I hung up.

"So we are taking Bella back?" Embry asked.

"Yes" I nodded, while looking back down the hallway where I knew she laid in my bed. "We have no other choice. We have to be responsible about this, and Bella will be safest with the people who know what is happening to her. I will stay with her until she wakes, as promised."

Quil and Embry nodded in an agreement, as Sam looked at me obviously pleased that I had come around to his thinking.

We decided to take Bella in the rabbit. Embry drove with Quil in the front seat, while I sat in the back holding Bella. I talked to her as much as I could.

"So Bells, we decided to take you to your home. I think it's the best place for you to change and I hope you understand and aren't mad. I just….I just don't know what to do. Your so lifeless, and I don't know if that's how its suppose to be or not. I will keep you safe Bells, and I won't break any of those promises you made me make. I won't let you down Bells. The Cullen's will know what is happening with you more then I will ever know. Everything's going to be fine; you're going to be fine."

I talked to her about the time of the day, what I had had to eat. That Embry was a slow driver. That the Cullen's driveway was ridiculously long. I didn't know if Bella cold hear me or not, but I felt that if she could, at least she knew I was with her the entire time.

As we approached the house, I noticed the entire Cullen family waiting out by the front door. For a split second I wondered what I was even doing there, then I looked at Bella in my arms and I knew why.

**

BPOV

I had wanted him so badly, I needed him in me. I pushed him too far, and he lost his control. I should have known this would happen. Id seen the signs at Isle Esme, but I chose to ignore it. My own selfish need for him ignored all the warning signs.

When he bit me. I screamed. The pain from the bite was excruciating. I was angry and disappointed at the same time. Angry at Edward, disappointed in myself. I was the one always telling him he wouldn't hurt me. I think I always knew in the back of my head that this would happen. The anger I felt for him in that moment for biting me was intense. I wanted to kick him and punch and him and yell at him. I couldn't do any of that without hurting myself, well I could yell. But I didn't know what I wanted to say.

When he realized that he'd bit me he heaved himself backwards off me landing at least 10 yards away from me. I saw my blood running down his chin.

I heard my phone ring, it would be Alice, but it was too late for that now. I saw him wipe the blood of his chin, and I honestly though he was going to lick it off his hands.

I felt the searing pain of the bite, black spots were filling my eyes and I fought it. I saw Edward take a step towards me.

"Get away from me," I screamed at him. At this moment I didn't want him anywhere near me.

"Bella, Im ok I won't hurt you, I can suck the venom out, Im sorry, Im so sorry, please I can help you."

_He won't hurt me? He just did!!_

"Just stay over there Edward." I yelled at him, I felt the hot tears overflow from my eyes and run down my cheeks

"Bella Im sorry, Im sorry, please let me help you." He pleaded; he took another stop towards me

"I said stay away from me!!!" I yelled again.

"Bella" he sobbed. "Please, please let me help you. I have to get you home; you have to let me help you. I can't just sit here and watch, please Bella, Im sorry, and Im so sorry. It will be ok, we will be ok." I listened to him begging, and the tears began to fall harder. I didn't want him near me, at this moment I hated him. Hated him for changing me now. It was too soon, and I wasn't ready. I hadn't said goodbye to Charlie…..I hadn't done a lot of things, and for that I was distraught. What if my anger fuelled me to hurt him when I was a newborn? I could feel my anger towards him now, intense and frenzied. I had to get away from him.

"Fuck" he said out loud.

"Bella we have to go, someone's coming."

Some one was coming. His family?

"Who?"

He didn't get the chance to answer as Jacob in werewolf form came crashing out of the bushes at top speed, followed by Quil and Embry. I grabbed for the picnic blanket and wrapped it around me. The swirl of blackness in my head almost engulfed me as I wrapped the blanket around me. I was fighting a losing battle. It wouldn't be long now.

Jacob skidded to a halt and approached slowly, choosing to remain in wolf form. Where ever he came from, he had obviously heard me scream. He would be so mad at Edward. I could see that Jacob was sniffing, and he walked straight over to me. His black wolf eyes fell to my hand which was still covering the bite.

He howled a long agonizing howl.

I knew, he would feel my pain. He would understand how I felt.

His head turned to Edward and he growled menacingly.

"Jacob" my voice barely a whisper and his attention returned to me. He walked right up to me and I let myself slump against his body and I heard him whine.

"Bella" Edward pleaded, "my family will be here soon, it will be ok."

I didn't answer; I just didn't have it in me to talk to him, although I knew Jacob would be screaming at him in his mind.

"How would you know?" I heard Edward say angril, obviously talking to Jacob.

And then I saw him fall to his knees.

"Bella" he sobbed. "Im sorry, please forgive me."

But I didn't reply. I was still slumped against Jacob. I had to get away from Edward, from this place.

"Take me away" I whispered to Jacob. "Get me away from here, please."

He nodded and whined in response, and I slowly climbed on to his back and almost fell on to him as I fought the swirling of blackness in my head.

"Don't leave me, don't go." Edward begged "Please Bella, don't do this."

Edward stood up and took a step towards us, but Quil and Embry growled at him. I did nothing, but lay on Jacobs back. Unable and unwilling to intervene.

"Bella please." But I didn't answer, and this time Jacob growled at him.

"She is my wife." he yelled in agony at Jacob.

I don't know what Jacob said to Edward in his mind, but we left and Edward did not follow. I knew I would have to stop Jacob to talk to him before I blanked out.

"Jacob" I whispered, "stop please."

I felt him start to slow down and then come to a halt. I rolled off him and landed with a thump on the ground, it didn't hurt me; in fact I didn't even feel it, which surprised me.

Jacob whined.

He phased back to help me sit up, tears still weeping down my face.

"Jacob..." my voice so quiet, it was barely a whisper, but I had to say this, I had to tell him, "Promise me you won't leave me……..promise me when this is over you'll be there." I didn't want to be alone through this ordeal.

He nodded my head, "yes of course bells, I promise."

I continued, desperately trying to get everything I wanted to say out before the blackness engulfed me.

"Promise me you wont hurt Edward for this……promise me when Im a newborn you wont let me hurt him…..Im angry Jacob but I don't want to hurt him…..I love him Jacob…I…..I….don't know what ill be like when this is over……please stay with me and when Im awake…..remind me of who I am and who you are to me….and who Edward is….Im afraid…..Ill forget who I am when Im a newborn. Please Jacob, please do this for me."

"Of course Bella, Ill do anything you ask." And he brought me in for a hug, and with that I relaxed and stopped fighting and let the Blackness swarm around me. I trusted Jacob with my life; he would do the right thing.

If I wasn't for the fact I could hear everything I would have sworn to god I was dead, I thought I was for a short time there. The blackness swarmed around me like a cocoon. I yelled and screamed but no one heard me. I tried to push the black walls away from me, but they just bounced back like a rubber band keeping me trapped…keeping me safe. It depended how you wanted to look at it. I heard Jacobs breathing and the sound of footsteps, but I had no sense of movement. I couldn't feel any part of my body, at all. I could only assume he was running, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel his fur if he was in wolf form, I couldn't feel his hot skin if he was in human form. I felt nothing. I smelt nothing. I could see nothing. I could only hear. I didn't know what was happening to me.

I remember when James bit me; I felt it, almost immediately the venom burning me. Felt like my body was on fire, but now, this time I felt nothing. I had fought the feeling when Edward had bit me. I had things I wanted to say before the pain overcame me, but now there was no pain. Whatever engulfed me, was not venom, it was something else.

At first I yelled and screamed in this black cocoon, room, or whatever the hell that I was in but it made little difference. I felt like I pushed against the walls of the blackness, but that didn't help either. I was frustrated. Eventually I gave up and chose to just listen and to think, there was nothing else I could do. I would have one-sided conversations with the people I could hear talking simply because I could, it didnt matter they couldnt hear me.

I thought of Edward, and felt stabs of anger towards him. I needed to forgive him. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt him, and I was afraid I would. I wanted to give him a slap for doing this to me before I was ready, this was too soon. From what I had heard from all the stories the Cullen's had told me, my self control would be near zero. I needed to have the self control.

I was horrified to hear that Leah was going to bathe me, and even more so when I heard her tell Jacob he was going to help. I could hear the water, but I felt none of it. I was glad when I heard Leah say she would cover with me an old towel in the bath; I think I had some new found respect for her. When Jacob had left to go talk to someone in the lounge Leah would talk to me, mumble about the pack, about the weather, about me, but she talked to me, and I appreciated it. I don't think Jacob realized how much she cared about him, and neither did I until she whispered something to me.

"_Bella you need to wake up, you need to get better, Jacob won't cope if you don't, and he needs his best friend even if she is a vampire. I swear on my life if you don't wake up from this Im going to beat you with a big stick until you do. Without you, Jacob is nothing, and I can't make something out of nothing_."

_I will wake up Leah_ I said in my black room that I seemed to be held prisoner in, but I knew she couldn't hear me.

I was absolutely terrified when I heard Jacob was returning me to the Cullen's. I yelled and screamed, begged him not to take me, but of course, he couldn't hear me. In the end I just gave up, and listened to the car doors shutting, and the engine starting. I guess we were driving to the Cullen's this time. Jacob talked to me the whole time; I was still in a slight grump at this point. Like a child with her harms crossed. Giving sarcastic comments in my head to almost everything Jacob said, but I slowly calmed down as he talked.

"So Bells, we decided to take you to your home…..

_Yeah so I heard._

I think it's the best place for you to change

_Whatever._

and I hope you understand and aren't mad.

_Why would I be mad?_

I just….I just don't know what to do

_It didn't mean running me back to the Cullen's, oh Edward…..how will he cope with his. I don't even know what to do about this._

Your so lifeless, and I don't know if that's how its suppose to be or not.

_I don't know either._

I will keep you safe Bells, and I won't break any of those promises you made me make. I won't let you down Bells.

_I hope your right Jacob, even though I know I shouldn't even expect that from you._

The Cullen's will know what is happening with you more then I will ever know. Everything's going to be fine; you're going to be fine."

_I hope so. I hope they know. I hope everything will be fine. I hope your right Jacob._

He told me the time of the day, and what he had had to eat.

I would never eat again, not human food. I felt sad at that thought, so many things I was giving up too soon.

He told me Embry was a slow driver and the Cullen's driveway was ridiculously long.

I knew we were minutes away from home when he said that, as I heard the engine of the car slow down I waited, knowing soon I would hear Edwards voice, and I would feel his pain through his words.


	20. Back at the Cullens

The car had barely stopped when Edward rushed over to open the car door.

"Hey man," I said, "Watch the door. Shit. You'll be buying me a new one if you rip it off!"

He looked at me apologetically, and then his eyes immediately fell to Bella in my lap.

"Bella," his eyes were filled with pain. His voice was tortured and rough, he didn't sound like….him. I could see his pain. He reached for her, and without thinking I flinched back from him pulling Bella with me. He retracted his arms and stood up backing away. "Im sorry Jacob."

"Im sorry to," I said. Embry came to the door and I passed Bella to him. Then when I get out of the car I took Bella back in my arms. I didn't mean to come across as being selfish, or the only person protecting Bella. I think it was more that I was afraid if I handed Bella to Edward he'd make a run for it, and Id never see her again.

"Oh my goodness," Esme said softly, "she's so limp and lifeless."

I heard Jasper gasp.

"What?" Edward and I both asked Jasper.

"What is it?" panic seeping into Edwards's voice.

It was then Carlisle spoke, he rested his hand on Edwards shoulder. "Let's get Bella inside, upstairs to your room. We can discuss all of this in there."

He nodded, and said nothing.

"Follow me," Edward spoke and walked off, while I followed closely behind him. Everyone else followed us, no one speaking. We were all very somber. I could see how much they cared for Bella. It was amazing to think one girl, one simple girl, could bring werewolves and vampires together without bloodshed.

When we entered Edwards room, I was surprised at how large his room was….No I wasn't, what did I expect really? Of course he had a large bedroom. I laid Bella gently down, and stood back from her. No one spoke and I could tell Edward was fighting the urge to go to her.

"Go to her Edward," I said to him. I didn't need to tell him twice. He was instantly next to her, rubbing the side of her head with his hand. Apologizing to her over and over again.

"So what was that about downstairs?" I asked Jasper, and Edwards head shot towards him and he stood up coming around the bed to stand next to me.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably where he was standing.

"Is…she in pain?" Edward asked.

"Well" Jasper started, he looked around the room into the faces of his family. "I can't feel anything from her, nothing at all. If it wasn't for her heartbeat I would think she was dead."

"She's not dead," Edward shouted.

"Im not saying that she is," Jasper replied calmly. "All Im saying is Im not picking up any emotion or feelings, at all."

I shrugged, that made sense.

"Why are you shrugging?" Edward asked; like he was offended I shrugged.

"Well what would you prefer I do, Edward? Kick your ass? Id like to. It's just that what Jasper said makes sense, she is so lifeless. If I couldn't hear her heartbeat or her breathing I would think the same."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair. "This isn't normal Jacob, this isn't how its suppose to happen"

"It isn't?" I was surprised. At the same time it wouldn't surprise me that Bella was different, let her have the one of a kind vampire change. That would be so Bella.

"No it's not normal," It was Carlisle spoke, "The change takes approximately 3 days, and it's more painful then anything you would have experienced in your young life. How she is now, it isn't normal."

"What's happening to her?" Edward pleaded his father for answers.

Carlisle started to pace, he obviously didn't know what was going on either.

"When did she become like this?" Carlisle asked me.

"About 10 minutes after we had left the meadow, she wanted to talk, and she had some things she wanted to say, so we stopped. Once she hugged me," I saw Edward wince out the corner of my eye," she went limp in my arms and has been like that ever since. No response to anything whatsoever."

Edward suddenly interrupted. "Who washed her?"

"Huh, what?" I asked, I wasn't expecting him to ask me that.

"Who washed her, and put her in clean clothes?" he sounded like he was getting angry.

"Me and Leah did," I snapped back at him, "and before you get all macho man on me thinking I saw your wife buck naked, I didn't. I do respect her you know, I treated her with nothing but respect, so don't even start with me." I didn't need to listen to his bullshit. He was lucky I even brought her here.

He obviously read my mind.

"Im sorry Jacob, thank you….and Leah for taking care of her."

I waved him off, there was no use staying angry, "no problem."

Carlisle was still pacing. He put his hand on her forehead, examined the bite, but I could tell just by watching him he had no idea, not a single clue to what was happening. He stood, looking at all of us.

"Any ideas?" he asked.

"Nadda" I said.

"Maybe I did it wrong," Edward suggested.

"How would you do it wrong?" Rosalie said, "You bite or you don't bite. How hard is that, who could get that wrong?"

"He could," I said pointing at Edward, and I swear on my life Rosalie smiled.

"Wouldn't surprise me," she replied.

"This isn't funny," he shouted." Look at her; she's…..she's …..She's not with me, she's not here, awake, how its suppose to be." And I felt his pain; it was all over his face, clearly there for everyone to see.

"Maybe she's just blocking the pain or something." I said. I had only meant it to lighten up Edwards's mood, but his eyes lit up in the way you would see in a maniac. I think he was going crazy.

"Could it be………could it be her shield Carlisle? Could it be something like that?" and I heard in his voice, the one thing I hadn't heard since I had arrived, hope.

Carlisle eyes lit up also, and he started to pace again.

"You're kidding right?" I asked, I thought that her having a shield was a joke.

"No, Edwards not kidding," Carlisle said, "there may be some truth to what he is saying."

Well I was going to pull up a seat for this; it looked like I was going to be here for awhile. I made my way over to Edwards leather couch, motioning Quil and Embry to join me. They didn't say anything but sat down next to me, while the vampires chose to remain standing.

"Now," Carlisle began, "her shield, that's what we will call it, could block Edward from reading her mind, then maybe it is the shield that has created this?" he gestured towards Bella's lifeless body. It didn't make sense to me, so I waited for Carlisle to continue. "Now obviously this shield she has has already been in place since she was born and being looked after by her subconscious mind. Bella, herself had no control over it whatsoever."

I interrupted. "But hasn't she been bitten before? Wouldn't the same thing happen then, that's happening now?"

"Not necessarily Jacob, you see when James bit her, she didn't know what was going on, and she didn't know what was happening to her. Her subconscious mind couldn't process something when it didn't understand what it was. This time, however, it had been talked about, she knew what to expect, knew what it would feel like, knew that eventually it was going to happen. Her concisions and subconscious mind knew this was coming. So while Bella was preparing for this in her mind, she had no idea other parts of her mind were preparing for it also."

"So what are you trying to say?" I asked. I looked over at Edward. I thought he should be asking these questions, either he was letting me do the talking, or he was just to slow to ask himself.

Carlisle stopped pacing and looked at Bella. "What Im trying to say is, that I think, Im not 100% positive, but I think her shield has shut her body down. It's almost like she's in coma. If Im correct, she won't feel any pain, she won't feel the change, and she won't…feel anything."

That seemed ridiculous, but could it be true? Could Bella feel no pain?

"No pain" Edward breathed and he sat next to Bella, and held her hand.

"But…" I started to say but then thought better of it.

"What?" Edward said.

I sighed, "Well I was just thinking, if it is her shield that shuts her body down, what happens when her heart stops beating? Will her mind know she's alive…well vampire alive, will her mind let her wake up? Or will she be forever trapped in her shield?"

I saw panic flicker through Edward's eyes, and he looked to his father.

"You pose a good question Jacob, the truth is I don't know. I can only assume. I would imagine Bella's shield knows what is coming, it so ingrained in Bella her subconscious mind will know when her heart stops she is fully changed. But that doesn't mean she will wake up when it's over, I think her shield will let her wake up when Bella in fully able to deal with what has happened, or Bella has gained control of the shield."

"What are you saying Carlisle? That Bella will have to fight her own shield?" I asked.

"What Im saying is, that Bella may have to battle within own mind to try gain control of it. To us, as we see her now she is nothing but a human form changing, lifeless and unresponsive. In her mind, whatever small part of her mind that works her shield, its working overtime. Protecting her from pain, protecting her from the change. Her body is just a shell, her soul, her emotions, her feelings, that things that make her who she is, are all in her mind and that's what her shield is protecting. It's totally cut her mind off from her body. When the change is complete, her shield will be a lot stronger, a lot more powerful. Winning over her own mind maybe the only way to be set free from it."

"Sounds like something from a sci-fi movie" I mumbled. I was glad to hear the Bella was in no pain, that piece of news was reassuring. The rest of the information just boggled my mind. I laid my head back on the couch and took a deep breath; this was going to be a long few days. And even then that wasn't sure, it could be longer.

**

EPOV

It was a relief to have Bella at home, with me, where she belonged. But my relief didn't last long. When I saw her lifeless body I knew immediately something was not right, my assumption was made worse when Jasper gasped. I had wanted to reach for Bella and run but I didn't, and it took everything I had not to do that.

What I learnt in that first half an hour of Bella being back with me gave me hope but terrified me all at the same time. Long forgotten was the fact I would be begging for forgiveness, I was instantly consumed with what was happening in front of me. Groveling at Bella's feet could come later.

I gently touched her face, her hands, and her skin was noticeably cooler. The change was gradual, and Bella's body was well on its way to transforming. I felt hopeful that Bella felt no pain, no physical pain anyway. But to know that something in her mind, a shield had sent subliminal messages from somewhere else in her mind to shut her entire body down unnerved me. I couldn't say it was an unrealistic talent to have, I could read minds after all, Alice the future, Jasper could control emotions, and to say she had a shield that protected her was not such a stretch when I looked at it like that. There were two things that worried me, I think what worried me most was what would happen when her heart stopped, when she was fully changed. Would her shield know that it was time for her to wake up, would she be ready to wake up….ever? Or could she gain control of her shield, was that even possbile for Bella, who thought the whole idea of her having a power was ridiculous. Secondly, where was Bella? Her body was obviously in front of me, but where was her… soul, her spirit, her essence, her character, her feelings, her emotions, where was my Bella? Had this shield wrapped itself around her, protecting who she was, when she awoke would she be her? Or would pieces of her be lost. Would this person still be my Bella? Would the last thing she remember be hugging Jacob, and think that he was her mate? I could only wait, and hope that this was not the case.

I knew Jacob would not leave until Bella woke, he was a loyal friend, and he worshipped Bella, he knew her so well, and it hurt me to admit he probably knew her even more so then I did. I loved Bella, with all my heart, with my entire being. She was my everything, and without her I was nothing, But Jacob saw the things I did not see or I chose not to see. He knew when there was something wrong, and she felt comfortable enough to tell him. I didn't know there was anything wrong, I couldn't decide if I knew there was and simply ignored it or I really had no idea. I had my own ideas on what I wanted for Bella, for us, and those ideas consumed me. I never actually stopped to ask her how she felt about the situation. I was selfish; I didn't communicate with her or share my feelings with her. A month into our marriage, and it appeared that Bella and I couldn't communicate our feelings, our thoughts. The things we wanted to say…we didn't. There were issues we should have talked about but it never happened. I should have told her I didn't have as much as control as she thought and she should have told me she wasn't ready to be changed. If only we had talked about this, none of this would have happened. If only…What ifs…It was too late for that now. I could spend the rest of eternity thinking of ways that would have changed this situation, but looking at Bella now, it would make no difference, the damage was already done.

None of my family had left the room since Bella had arrived. We talked amongst ourselves, or stood silently watching over Bella. Some of my family even making conversation with Jacob and his friends. Bella had brought my family closer, even though she would never admit to it. It was her, which brought 2 mythical species that were natural enemies together; it was her that made us be able to stand together as one. It was her; we all felt a connection to. It was her; we all needed to awake from this, for whatever reason, we all needed her.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips past her ear, "Bella." I whispered. "I will never leave you."

**

BPOV

The moment I heard him say my name.

"Bella"

All the anger I held towards him for biting me vanished, it was gone.

_Edward_

I couldn't see his face, I couldn't reach out and touch him, but I could hear him. It was all I needed to hear. With one word I could hear his suffering, the torture, and the sorrow he felt. He apologized over and over again, and I apologized back. If pain was capable of such things, it would eat Edward alive. I loved him, I didn't need to be angry at him, he would be angry at himself. Being in this black box in my head had given me time to think, not that there was much else to do. This entire mess was my own dam fault, and if I wanted to be angry I should be angry at my self. I should have told him, I should have said I had something to tell him and just told him. I wanted to be with him forever, I married him, and I shared my body with him, but couldn't share my feelings? I was an idiot. When I woke up from this, when this change was complete I would tell him how much of a fool I had been.

It had been difficult to lie in that room and listen to Carlisle talk about my shield.

_Here we go again_ I thought when he first brought up, but after much consideration. I thought he had to be right, what else it could be.

I was frightened and for awhile there I yelled and screamed in my mind, but no one heard me. Eventually I gave up, it was pointless.

_Right, well if that's how it is going to be Im just going to have to learn to control this dam shield of mine._

I was scared, that maybe Carlisle was right that when my heart stopped I may be trapped here. I wasn't going to take that lying down. I tried to think about pushing the blackness away but nothing happened. I would feel like maybe I was getting somewhere only to have it snap back into place the minute I relented, and it felt like forever to just move it a little bit.

I would just lay and listen most the time. I could hear footsteps, breathing, talking. I liked it when people were talking, even if it was about my fate. It was my entertainment. At least it occupied me, and I would talk back, even if they were unaware of that fact.

When I heard Edward say he would never leave me, I sobbed…if that's possible inside your mind. I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to tell him I would never leave him either. Not ever.

I had to break through this shield. If not for me, for Edward, and Jacob. They needed me to come back, and so I would.


	21. Waiting

I think I slept, if that's what you can call it. I didn't realize it was happening, but Im more then positive I did.

I would be listening to the Cullen's, to Jacob talk and it would be like I dozed off, because when I started to listen to what was going on around me it was different. Different people talking, a different conversation, it was just....well ....different. The only explanation I came up with was that I simply fell asleep when my mind got tired.

I had tried to break through my shield, but I had no luck. It seemed impossible, the more I tried, the more frustrated I got, so Id try again, then Id get upset and give up, only to have another go later on. It was a vicious cycle that drained me. I wasn't making any progress and I was starting to worry that I would never break through it.

If my timing was right, and chances were that my timing wasn't. I was about 2 – 2 ½ days into the change. Jacob had had dinner hours ago, so I assumed it was either late at night, or very very early in the morning. I could hear Jacob sleeping. His sleeping and eating was the only way I could keep a rough track of time. I knew when he would have breakfast, it was only hours away before my 3 day change would be finished. Would I wake up? I didn't know.

_Im so bored._

The Cullen's didn't stay in the room all day. Jacob would only leave to eat and go toilet. Edward would only leave for what I imagined would be a break, a break from the pain of watching me in this lifeless form. I imagined it would be emotionally draining.

My hearing was exceptionally better now, a result of the change no doubt. It wasn't as good as I knew it would be. I could hear voices downstairs, but not well enough to make out what they were saying.

I knew at that moment Jacob was only in the room with me, and I felt safe. Quil and Embry had gone home sometime yesterday, they would be back sometime in the morning.

I heard doors shut down stairs, and then silence apart from Jacobs snoring. I could only imagine that the Cullen's had all gone for a quick hunt at this time of the night. They would probably want full strength tomorrow when I would hopefully awake from this change. Just incase I turned out to be a crazy new born that wanted to attack every human in sight and they had to restrain me.

_So it's just Jacob and me here. Boring. Someone could have turned on a TV for me to listen to._

Being in the black box in my mind was incredibly mundane. It gave you plenty of time to think, but even that got mind-numbing after awhile. I felt like I had thought through my whole entire life over the last 2 or so days.

I don't know how long I sat in the blackness of my mind when I heard it.

The bedroom door opening.

_Did I doze off? No Im sure I didn't. I hadn't heard the Cullen's come back, I hadn't heard voices. I hadn't heard the front door open and shut. It's not Jacob; he's still snoring like a chainsaw._

_Who is that?_

Whoever it was being very quiet. I could hear their footsteps lightly on the ground and they were heading towards Jacob.

I listened.

They said nothing to Jacob, and I heard nothing for awhile. Whoever it was was standing over him. His snoring reassured me that he was ok.

I heard the footsteps change direction and come towards me.

I was immediately frightened. They hadn't said anything, and I knew the Cullen's had left.

I heard the footsteps get closer, and the closer they got the more I began to panic.

_Who is that?_ I yelled in my mind, I knew they couldn't hear me but still felt the need to yell it.

Then I heard his voice.

"Ahh Bella, you're hurting me, Bella let go, please Bella"

_Edward?_

"Bella please," his voice sounded like he was in pain. "Bella can you hear me, let go love, you're going to crush my arm."

_I was hurting him?_

I heard Jacobs snoring cut off, and he grumbled.

"What the?" I heard him say, and then his voice was closer.

"Bella can you hear us?"

_Course I can hear you, but you guys can't hear me!_

"Bella please" Edward begged, "let go"

_But Im not doing anything!_

"Here let me try" I heard Jacob say. "Shit, she's got a grip on you there"

"I know" Edward whined. "Please Bella if you can hear me let go."

_Let go? I don't even know what Im doing!!!_

Then I heard Jacob, he sounded right up close to me, almost whispering.

"Bella, your hurting Edward, your husband, your love, let go of him, your gripping him around his wrist. You might crush his bones in his arm at this rate. He'll heal of course, but Im sure you don't want to hurt him."

_Of course I don't want to hurt him, but Im not doing anything._

"Its working, keeping talking, the grips loosening" I heard Edward say.

"It's alright Bella, its just Edward and I in the room, we will protect you, and you're safe."

_Im safe._

I told myself that, to try calm myself.

"Oh thank god," I heard Edwards voice, and then he was obviously rubbing his wrist.

_What the hell happened?_ I said it in my mind, as Jacob asked Edward the same question.

**

EPOV

My family had decided to go on a quick hunt before the 3rd day of Bella's change was complete; the rest of my family had gone further into the forest. I settled on a fox to feed on and headed back to the house. I didn't want to be away from Bella for to long. The rest of the family would be back at dawn.

I noticed Alice's bedroom window was open so leapt into the house through her window, landing quietly on my feet. I could hear Jacob snoring from the room, and I didn't want to wake him. I opened the bedroom door slowly and walked in. I went over to Jacob first and looked at him. I waved my hand in front of his face a few times. I was tempted to hold his nose to see if that would stop his snoring. He was so loud I didn't know how anyone could sleep in a 100 yards radius of him. I then made my way over to Bella. I went to touch her when her hand flew up and grabbed me tightly around my wrist. She said nothing, no other part of her moved, but the grip she had on me was strong and hard, like hard rock against pumice. I could feel my own bones beginning to crush under the hold. I was more then thankful when she let go, but what happened had left me confused.

"What the hell happened?" Jacob asked.

"She grabbed me, just out of the blue, I didn't see it coming. I went to brush her hair out of her face and her hand just grabbed me." I was bewildered.

"Bella can you hear me?" I asked her.

"Doesn't look like it" Jacob said.

"She must be able to," I said exasperated, "when you were talking to her, telling her to let me go her grip was loosening. She must have been able to hear you unless it's some kind of coincidence."

"You think she can hear us?" Jacob asked.

"I almost want to say, I hope not. If she can hear us, she's been listening to you snore for how long! That would have driven her nuts." I joked

Jacob chuckled, "shut up."

"Seriously though, I think there might be a chance she might. Why she grabbed me like that I don't know, but Im sure it was your voice that lead her to letting go."

_Jacobs voice. Why his voice and not mine? Was she that furious at me that she would hurt me, like that?_

My heart sank at the thought.

I looked at Jacob who had sat down on the bed next to her.

"What are you doing?" I asked him

"I was thinking of talking to her," Jacob said quietly.

"Oh" was my great response. "What about?"

"I don't know really, anything, if she's listening, I think it might help to talk to her, it might help her bring her back, help her remember who I am to her."

I could see now, in his mind, he was worried she would wake and think of him as a possible meal, or think that somehow he didn't keep his promise.

"She'll always be your best friend, vampire or not." I told him, and I meant every word of it.

He looked over his shoulder at me, "thanks" he replied.

*

The rest of my family returned at dawn from the hunt. We all gathered in the room, watching Bella. Embry and Quil returned, and it didn't escape my notice that the rest of the pack was in the bushes, lurking, listening and watching.

By around midday, Bella's heart rate had picked up its pace, finally. It had been nothing but even for the last 3 days. Her skin was now my colour and she was as cold as I was. Carlisle had checked her eyes, they were red. Gone were the warm chocolate eyes that I had loved. She was like me now, all that remained of her humanity was her beating heart and it wasn't going to beat much longer.

"It's almost time," Carlisle said calmly.

We all stood around the bed, watching, waiting and listening.

Her heart beat increasing at a rapid rate. Her last beat, minutes away. It picked up more speed, her heart now spluttering to keep up; it became irregular and missed beats. As the heart beats slowed they seemed louder. Her heart trying to fight the last of the change, and it was losing. Her heart stuttered twice, and then once more and then no more.

She continued to breathe evenly, and we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And nothing.

She did not move, and her slow even breaths, that weren't even needed as a vampire, were the only thing that reassured me she wasn't dead.

No one spoke, no one moved; we just stood and watched Bella.

It was Jacob who spoke first.

"What's happening?" he asked to anyone that was willing to answer him.

"The shield," Carlisle answered quietly, "it must be her shield, it has her trapped, it's not allowing her to wake up, and she's going to have broken through it in her own time"

I run my fingers through my hair, was I ever going to get Bella back?

"How long?" I asked, knowing he would not know the answer.

"I don't know," he answered. "Could be today, tomorrow, next week, next month. I have no idea."

"No!" Jacob yelled, backing away from Bella, backing away from us. It happened so fast, he phased in my room and jumped out of my bedroom window.

"Jacob!" I yelled calling out to him, but he had already disappeared into the forest. Quil and Embry stood there stunned; they clearly didn't know that wasn't going to happen. They quickly excused themselves and they also disappeared into the forest.

I needed Jacob to return, I needed him here for Bella.

JPOV

I had to get away. I couldn't cope. Why hadn't Bella opened her eyes? She was supposed to open her eyes. Listening to her heart stop beating was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, she was no longer human. I felt like she had died, and when she didn't open her eyes it hurt all the more.

I didn't mean to phase in the room, but it was the fastest way to get out of there. All the pack were in the forest, thoughts were thrown at me from all angles of the pack. Wanting to know what happened, how was Bella?, would she be feeding soon?, was she crazy?, was she beautiful like the others?

_She is changed but hasn't woken yet. _It was the only information I could give the pack.

Then I phased back to being human, and slumped against a tree trunk.

I sat in silence, trying to find peace from the crazy world I lived in. I couldn't find it, I never would find peace if Bella didn't wake up.

"Jacob," I had been so deep in thought, I didn't notice Leah standing in the bushes.

"Leah, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I followed your stink and found you," she shrugged as she sat down next to me. "Thought you might want to talk about it."

"I don't" I answered.

"Try" she said

"What do you want me to say?" I asked annoyed, "everything's not ok. My best friend is trapped by her own warped super natural power, she's a god dam vampire at that, and she's not waking up when she's suppose to. She needs to wake up, Edward can't function right without her, and I…. I miss my best friend." I almost wanted to sob and cry and blame the world, because everything seemed so unfair.

Leah semi smiled, "that's what I wanted you to say," she said quietly. "Don't bottle your feelings up, talk about them. It may not make things better, but it just might help. I want to help."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Why?" I asked, suddenly suspicious of her. She had never been entirely fond of Bella and the Cullen's.

"Because you're my friend," she said, "and I care about you, and how it hurts you to see Bella like that, it hurts me to see you like this."

I smiled at her, "Thanks," who knew Leah could be nice.

"But if you're out here, moping by a tree, how are you helping Bella?"

Her words made something click in my head. She was right. I had to get back. I had to get back now. I was supposed to be there, I promised I would stay with her until it was over. I promised I would remind her of who she was, and I couldn't do that out here.

I jumped up. "I gotta go, I gotta get back, Thanks Leah," I quickly bent over, kissed on the cheek, phased and took off back to the Cullen's house.

"Happy to help," I heard her yell as I ran off.

**

When I returned, nothing had changed. She had not woken or moved. Alice was in the room with her while the rest of the Cullen's were downstairs. They had decided if Bella could hear that at least one of them would always be with her, talking to her. If no one could they put music on or the television. I let Alice have her moment with Bella, before I took my place back on the couch.

"Nice to have you back." she said.

I just smiled at her.

"What do you think?" she said as she gestured to Bella.

"What about?" I asked. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Her outfit!" she almost screeched at me.

"Oh," I stood up and walked over to the bed where Bella lay. "Its…uh….very nice." I said. "You know she's going to freak when she wakes up and sees she's wearing that though."

Alice shrugged, "she'll get over it."

I couldn't see Bella getting over it. Alice had put her in a nice pair of fitting jeans, which were nice, and Bella wouldn't mind that. But the pink fitting dress kind of singlet she was wearing I knew Bella wouldn't approve of. It was silky and very nice, but not Bella.

"If you say so," I said chuckling and returned to my seat.

Edward came into the room soon after Alice left, and he also said Bella wouldn't like the top but Alice thought it was lovely, and so the shirt stayed.

Edward said it was nice to have me back, and I felt like he meant it. This situation was hard for me, but for him, it had to be a lot worse. Bella should have been awake by now. How does he deal with that? Especially when he was the one that made her like this.

"It cuts me from the inside, the pain, from doing this to her, its almost unbearable."

I had forgotten for a second there he could read my mind.

EPOV

I heard Jacobs's thoughts, and the words left my mouth before I realized id said it out loud.

"It cuts me from the inside, the pain, from doing this to her, its almost unbearable."

He fidgeted uncomfortably, realizing I had read his mind.

"Its ok Jacob, it's no secret that I done this to her. You're only stating the obvious. I just hope she wakes up so I can beg her forgiveness."

He stared at me, not speaking, just listening. His thoughts were apologetic, he genuinely felt sorry for me.

"Don't feel sorry for me, I brought all of this on myself, if anything be angry."

"Id like to be angry at you, but I can't," he sighed. "Bella wouldn't want that anyway."

I nodded my head at him in understanding.

I sat on the bed next to Bella; all we could do now was wait.

BPOV

_This is ridiculous. Why am I not waking up?_

_I know Im changed._

_They said I was changed._

I still couldn't feel anything, and I was getting more then annoyed because of it. It was time to wake up and it was not happening. I didn't know how to work my body, let alone feel it.

I had obviously grabbed Edward, but I didn't know how that happened. .

I could feel my shield now, it was much stronger now that I was fully changed, but I could feel it better now.

I heard Jacob leave, and I begged in my mind for him to return, and he did and I was thankful.

I heard Alice telling me she was changing me, and she put me in a pink shirt. I was telling her to take it off me, and get a blue one, but she couldn't hear me.

I heard Jacob and Edward talking, and I listened, I didn't say anything. I wanted to cry.

I had to get out of here.


	22. Waking up

EPOV

A week had passed. The agony grew.

A week ago, Jacob and I were rivals. Now, we sat together on my black couch, friends? Possibly. Supporting each other the best we could.

"You look like shit," he said to me.

I smirked at him, "so do you."

He shrugged, "at least I'm not ugly," and he laughed, and he stood up from the couch. "I'm going downstairs for something to eat."

I nodded, and he disappeared out the room.

Bella still laid lifeless on the bed. We held on to the hope that she was making progress. She would twitch on occasion, and we took that as a sign she was fighting her shield. Alice had not had a vision of Bella waking up, but had had one of Bella opening a present on Christmas morning. It looked like we would be celebrating christmas this year. We could only assume it meant she would wake up before then. That was a few months away yet, but at least I knew I wouldn't be waiting forever for Bella to wake.

I sat down next to her on the bed.

"Bella," I said quietly.

"I need you to come back to me, I need you to tell me I'm a idiot for doing this to you when you weren't ready."

She twitched.

"I love you Bella, I cant live our forever without you, your suppose to be with me."

More twitching.

"Please come back to me, please. beat me with a big stick if you feel the need to do so after what I have done to you, but please come back to me."

She twitched some more, but it was no reason for me to get my hopes to high. The twitch when you talked to her was normal. We took it as a sign that she was fighting her shield. It was a good sign. It meant Bella, was in there, somewhere.

I sat on the bed, holding Bella's hand. Humming her lullaby.

Soon after, Jacob walked back into the room, showered, and stuffing his face with croissants.

"I could get use to this," he said waving the croissant around. "For a house full of vampires, your house is fully stocked of food. I appreciate it you know."

"Smells disgusting," I said to him.

"You don't know what your missing out on man!" he said cheerily, taking another bite from the croissant.

"I would have to disagree with you there Jacob," I replied.

He stopped eating and looked out the window.

"Leah?"

I turned around to see her emerge from the bushes, wave and then come over to the house.

"I wonder what she wants?" Jacob said, he walked out the room, obviously heading downstairs to meet Leah.

A few minutes Jacob walked into the room with Leah.

"Uh Edward," he said, "can Leah have a few minutes alone with Bella." His thoughts told me he was unsure of Leah's reason, but trusted her all the same.

I didn't want to leave, but agreed, "OK," I stood and went to the door. "Ill just be down stairs," I said to Leah, and then turned and walked off, with Jacob following behind me.

BPOV

_Leah?_

_Shed come to visit me? I'm surprised._

I was making slow but steady progress with my shield, but I had stopped fighting it when I heard Leah in the room.

"Hi Bella."

_Hi Leah. I wonder what she was doing here_.

"I don't mean to come across as selfish, but I'm just wandering when your going to wake up. I hate to admit it but I'm missing my pack mate like crazy."

_Jacob? I knew she liked him._

"Edwards looks terrible doesn't he, so does Jacob I guess. They both need you, you know."

_As I need them_.

"I'm hoping Jacob needs me, not like right now, but eventually. I don't ever see myself imprinting on anyone. I loved Sam and I think part of me still does. Jacob loves you, and I don't see him ever imprinting on anyone. After what he feels for you I cant imagine something beating that kind of love and devotion. But maybe we can be partners, you know. 2 companions, 2 pack mates, 2 friends, settling for 2nd best."

_Oh Leah_

"Seems kind of sad doesn't it, but its not. I'm happy despite the situation, you can only make the best with what your given. I don't know whether your mad at Edward for what he done to you. Id be so pissed off if that happened to me, but Edward loves you more then he cares for himself. You just have to make do with what your given. So you got changed a little early, all it means your forever started a little earlier then expected. That point alone surely weights out all the bad points. You can work all the bad stuff out later. Ugh! I feel so stupid dishing out advice to a lifeless body."

I laughed, and pushed against my shield.

"Eww did you just twitch. Jacob mentioned that. Well I think that I have said all that I wanted to to say. I hope you wake up, I don't want to deal with the mess if you don't. Not that you'd be a mess, but well, you know. Goodbye Bella, next time I see you I hope you are talking back."

And with that I heard her leave the room.

_Make the best of what I' ve got. She's so right, and I will do tha_t, and I pushed against my shield.

I heard Jacob return to the room.

"Edwards just going to have a shower" he said, like he knew Id be asking where he was.

"Bella," I could tell he was sitting next to me, "Oh Bella," and I could tell he was crying.

_Jacob, No, please don't cry_.

"I'm OK, I'm OK," he said, obviously in an attempt to reassure me. "Its just been a hard week, I guess its all kind of building up and getting to me. I miss you Bella, Edward misses you."

_Edward_

"You think I'm in a bad state, you should see him, your soul is lost at this moment, and with yours being lost so is he. He looks empty, his eyes….are empty. I know I'm not Edwards greatest fan, but he needs you to return to him. I need you to return to me. I know I wanted you for myself at a point there, but now, I know this is how it was suppose to be. I was meant to be your friend"

_Best friend_ I corrected him. I was getting upset, I could feel it. I pushed against my shield.

"That's freaky how you twitch," he sobbed. "Your so going to freak when you see the shirt Alice put on you, pink and all la de da."

_I'm going to kill Alice._

"Oh Bella," and the tears began again. "I miss you. Edward misses you, we all bloody miss you."

_I've got to get out of here_! I yelled in my mind, and I pushed as hard as I could against my shield, it gave a little but tried to push back around me.

"I'm never going to leave until you wake up," he sobbed, " Never."

_I've to get out of here_! I yelled again, my anger growing. It was me, making the people I care the most live in misery. I pushed against my shield again and it started to relent, I could feel it, I could feel myself breaking through my shield, beginning to take control of it.

_I've got to get out of here_! I yelled again letting my anger fuel my strength to push past my shield.

"I……I just need you back." He sobbed

_Ive got get out of here, let me out of here_!!

I was almost there, I could feel it, I could feel my body, I could smell…dog.

" Please Bella." He begged.

"Let me out of here," I roared, and I shot up, sitting up. I had broken through, I was back. I felt the shield snap back into place. I could feel it, I could control it, but it didn't matter I was out. Bella was out.

"Jacob?" his face tear stained, complete with croissant crumbs.

"Bella?" he asked, standing up. It didn't escape my notice he was backing away from me. I wasn't going to have that, I wasn't going to have him move away from me. The man who brought me back was going to get a hug.

"Jacob!" I screeched in delight. I'm not sure how I done it, but I jumped off the bed, leaped across the room with a light spring in my step, and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around him and burying my face in his neck.

"Bella?!" I could tell he was stunned, shocked, overwhelmed.

"Its me Jacob, its all me, I'm back." I sobbed, tearless sobs into his neck.

"Bells!" He exclaimed, and hugged me back. I realized then that my weight and how I jumped at him should of sent him flying.

I slid my legs down from around him and let my feet land on the ground.

"I heard you" I told Jacob, "I heard it all. Thank you for staying, Thank you for keeping your promises."

I hugged him again.

He held me close to him, running his hand down the back of my head. He kissed me softly on the forehead.

"Your so cold," he said, but kissed me again on my head.

"and your so hot," I said back, giggling. I couldn't stop hugging him. I wanted to climb on him and hug him forever. I felt like I couldn't control my emotions. They were going every which way. I looked up at his face, his eyes were with tears of happiness and they twinkled. I held his face in my hands, and brought his face to mine and gave him a big kiss. Not a romantic kiss or anything like that. Just a big kiss on the lips, to say thank you.

"Bells!" he exclaimed, clearly shocked by my actions.

"Just saying thank you," I said cheerfully.

He quirked an eyebrow at me, "OK"

I was so caught up with Jacob, I didn't notice the entire Cullen family behind me, until Edward forced a cough.

I spun around, "Edward" I breathed, but he didn't even look at me, he was to busy staring at Jacob. I instantly felt a pang of rejection.

I pushed my shield out around Jacob, it was so easy to control now. I was standing here, he didn't need to read Jacobs mind. Edwards eyes fell to me.

"Are you shielding him?" he asked,

"Well, hello to you to," I said clearly annoyed. This wasn't the welcoming I was expecting from him.

I noticed Alice jumping up and down, and couldn't help but smile and run to her. We hugged each other, swaying from side to side.

"I missed you." Alice squealed.

I greeted all of his family, so happy to be back.

Edward was last. I inhaled his beautiful smell. He looked at me, and I looked at him. I didn't know what to say. I had expected him to be happy to see me. I felt like he had burst my balloon of happiness. I looked over at Jacob who was still smiling. I let the shield drop from around him, and Edwards eyes immediately went to Jacob again. I bit back a growl. I felt like waving my hand in his face and saying hello!! I'm here!!

So I brought the shield up around Jacob again, and Edward looked at me. I could feel myself getting annoyed with Edward.

"Can you focus on me for a minute," I said to Edward, "or is Jacobs head more entertaining?"

"uh oh" I heard Jasper say.

"Is the shit going to hit the fan?" Emmett asked.

"Looks like it," Rosalie chimed in.

"I'm uh sorry Bella," Edward said.

What the hell. Was that it? Was that my welcome from him? I thought he had missed me, but he was far to enthralled in what was going on in Jacobs head to kiss me, to hug me. What a prick! I felt my anger flare, and then a calming influence overwhelmed me.

"Jasper" I choked out.

"Just trying to keep you calm Bella," he said quietly, "you need to feed first before anything."

I tried to calm myself down.

"OK Jasper, Ill calm down and go feed."

He lifted the wave of calmness off me, and I took a breath, Not that it was necessary but it still had the effect of calming me.

I eyed Edward who looked at the ground. I still didn't know what his problem was, and I didn't think I was ready to be alone with him just yet on a hunt.

"So who's taking me hunting?" I said cheerfully, trying to hide the annoyance in my voice. I was nervous about my first meal, mixed with excitement and at the same time grossing out. But I couldn't ignore the dry ache in my throat. I was thirsty. I was glad at least that Jacob did'nt smell the least bit appetizing.

EPOV

I was in the bathroom when I first heard it, and even then I wasn't entirely sure what I had just heard.

"Jacob!"

The voice was like music, like silk, soft and beautiful. It sounded new but familiar at the same time.

_Bella_.

I couldn't dress and dry myself fast enough. Bella, my Bella is awake.

I rushed out the room where my family were also making there way to my room. I pushed past my family trying to get in front, trying to get to Bella first.

What I saw shocked me to the core. From where I stood I could tell Bella was kissing Jacob. Not a peck on the cheek, or kiss on the forehead, but a kiss kiss, she was kissing Jacob on the lips. This pain, to see her kissing another man made my heart shatter all over again.

"Bella!" Jacob said surprised, as she pulled away from him.

"Just saying thank you," she said to him in a cheerful tone. My heart shattered some more.

"OK" he said lifting one eyebrow, he was grinning at her, his eyes now sparkling with the return of his best friend, or was it more then that?

I coughed, to disrupt the moment. Bella spun around and looked at me but I was to caught up in Jacobs mind to even notice her.

Jacob thoughts exuded happiness. He was on cloud nine. To have Bella back, it didn't bother him that she was a vampire, he was just happy to have her back. The kiss he was shocked by, he thought she was beautiful despite the red eyes, and so happy, and he felt intoxicated by her scent. Then it went black and I couldn't read his mind. I was confused for a second to what was happening. Then my eyes fell to Bella who was watching me intently with her fiery red eyes.

"Are you shielding him?" I asked her. I wanted to kick myself when I heard those words leave my mouth. I could not believe those were the first words that I had said to her.

"Well, hello to you to," I saw anger flash in her eyes, she was clearly annoyed. This wasn't the welcoming I had wanted for her.

I noticed Alice jumping up and down, and it didn't surprise me when Bella ran to her and hugged her. Bella's movement was graceful, her brown hair falling down her back as she moved, it was shiny and beautiful, like the rest of her. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her tightly, but knew I would have to wait my turn. I watched her hug my entire family, jealous that they got to touch her before me.

When she finally came to me, she looked up at me with her now red eyes, and I still saw the Bella I loved looking back at me. I looked at her, words couldn't express the many emotions running through my mind at this very moment. I didn't know what to say. Her face seemed to fall, and sadness fluttered through her eyes. I went to reach for her when she looked over at Jacob, who was still smiling from ear to ear. His thoughts suddenly filled my head. . Bella must have let the shield drop from around him, I couldn't help but look in Jacobs direction. I wanted to know what the kiss meant to him, and it distracted me from what was right in front of me. Bella.

Bella obviously noticed as Jacobs mind went black again.

"Can you focus on me for a minute," she said to me, "or is Jacobs head more entertaining?" I could hear her annoyance with me growing. I was letting my stupid jealousy ruin this moment.

"uh oh" I heard Jasper say.

"Is the shit going to hit the fan?" Emmett asked.

"Looks like it," Rosalie chimed in.

"I'm uh sorry Bella," Edward said.

I knew Bella's anger was growing when Jasper sent out a wave of calmness. He was yelling at me in his head.

_What the hell are you doing? Your pissing her off!!_

"Jasper" I heard Bella choke out.

"Just trying to keep you calm Bella," he said quietly to her, "you need to feed first before anything."

"OK Jasper, Ill calm down and go feed." she said sincerely.

I looked down at the ground but I knew Bella was looking at me, but I was to ashamed of myself to look at her, to see her anger and annoyance towards me. For the first time in my life I felt like a coward. Afraid to deal with this situation head on, I had handled her waking up badly. In no way did I show how much I loved and missed her. I didn't even apologize to her.

"So who's taking me hunting?" she said cheerfully, looking around my family.

" We will all go" Carlisle spoke up, " and we can show you the boundary lines for the treaty, where the best hunting grounds are,"

" and other handy hunting tips." Emmett finished.

I stood still, saying nothing but watching Bella.

"Are you going to come?" I looked up, only to find her asking Jacob.

" Um, no I don't think so Bells, that's really not my idea of fun. I don't think I'm ready to see you like that."

I saw Bella's face drop, as I imagine mine did as well

"But ill be by when you come back OK"

She nodded.

"Well I've served my purpose here," he said looking at the rest of my family, " so I guess should be going." He walked towards Bella, and wrapped his arms around her. " Its so good to have you back, even if you do look like a freak."

She held him tightly, and I wished I was him.

"Ill text you or something so we can hangout, here or in the forest? Its not like I can go to the beach." she said to him. If she was a vampire and he remained a wolf there friendship would last all of eternity. I just hoped it wasn't to late for our marriage.

Jacob kissed her on the forehead when he left, and she dropped the shield as he went out the front door. She had obviously learnt to control it with some ease. Either she had spent a long time practising or it simply all fell into place all at once.

We had decided we would take Bella for a hunt for small game for today. Tomorrow we would head off into big game territory and stay for a few days, while Bella became familiar and comfortable with hunting. The rest of the day and night Bella spent with the family as a whole. Alice and Rosalie giving her tips on how to look human, move, blink, sit down. All simple things really, but when your comfortable to stand forever without blinking it can be easy to forget. Carlisle had a million questions about Bella's change and her shield, and Bella was more then happy to answer his questions. Their conversation taking them well into the next morning. I had spent no alone time with Bella, let alone talked to her. The whole time I was afraid she would wake and be angry at me, but this was much worse. To have her not talk to me, to not touch me, to not show any interest in me whatsoever was worse then any anger she could have showed me. At least if she was angry at me, she would be yelling and at me.

Bella changed before we left for our hunt, she refused to wear the silky pink shirt out of the house. She come down the stairs with a backpack on her back.

"What's with the bag?" Emmett asked her.

"Clothes," she said," chances are I'll make a big mes with big game, so I'm taking a change of clothes, a few changes actually." and she smiled, her beautiful smile.

"Ill carry your bag Bella" I said, holding my hand out to take the bag. She shrugged it off and passed it to me.

"Thanks." she said and passed the bag to me, her fingers touched mine and I felt the charge of electricity pass between us. She looked down and bit her lip, and I wished then she could still blush.

Her skin still felt warm and soft to me, we were the same now, and I craved her touch now more then ever before. But I knew there were things we needed to talk about before I would be able to touch to her again, if she would allow it.

Bella went and stood with Jasper and Alice, waiting for Rosalie before we headed off on our hunting trip. I watched Bella from across the room. Talking and laughing so freely with the family. I wished she was laughing with me, I wished for a lot of things.

_You'll get your chance_, Carlisle thought.

I nodded, and hoped he was right.


	23. Lack of communication

My shield, my blessing. His mind reading, his curse. That's how I saw it. Edward had spent all his life reading peoples minds, and the one mind he wanted to read the most he couldn't. For that, I was thankful. Jacob didn't have this talent, he didn't need it. He just got it. That you had to say things, out loud. Edward didn't know how to communicate any other way, so he said nothing, I felt like he as ignoring me. When I was human it didn't seem to bother him much, but was that because I was weaker then he was, and that I needed him to protect me? Now I stood before him as an equal, capable of fighting my own battles, capable of slapping him if I felt the need to do so. Alice had told me everything would work out alright, just give it some time. How much time? I had forever. I didn't want to wait for years for him to talk to me again.

I still loved Edward, more then anything in this world. I craved and needed his touch. When our hands touched when I gave him my bag, it was like electricity, and I could still feel it now. I yearned to unbutton his shirt and pull it down off his shoulders, to run my fingers along his chest......but I couldn't, not yet. We needed to talk first. I was fighting a battle in my head, part of me wanting to grab him and kiss him, part of me wanted to rip his head off. I could literally feel him constantly trying to read my mind as we run through the forest.

My annoyance with him won out in the end.

" Will you quit doing that?" I growled at him.

"Doing what?" he asked back, acting innocent. He probably had no idea I knew.

"I can feel you you know, trying to read my mind. So stop it already, its not going to let you in."

"Oh uh I'm sorry," he said.

"If there is something you want to know, just ask me." I wanted him to ask me, it was an invite for him to talk to me, or so I thought.

"OK" he said, and I waited.

" Well?" I asked

" Well what?" he asked in return.

I threw my hands up in frustration, while we continued to to run. "Unbelievable!!' I growled and headed off to run with Jasper and Alice.

"Bella!" I heard Edward say, but I refused to answer him and kept running towards Jasper and Alice, and hoped Edward would get the message to not follow me.

I ran up next to Alice, "It will get better." she said to me, pleading with me to be paitent.

"I know," I sighed, " you've told me before."

JPOV

So Bella was off on her extended hunting trip today. I was nervous for her and it was definetly something I didn't want to see. She had texted me and told me she was taking her phone and she'd let me know how it went. I was thrilled to have Bella back in my life, being a vampire wasn't so bad. Bella was still Bella. Her soul, her personality, her kindness, her love for the people around her remained. She was still good, and had no intention of feeding on humans. It made me wonder why other vampires weren't like the Cullen's. You could live a rather nice life if you wanted to. You had a choice.

Once the pack was alerted that Bella had woken, I had been bombarded with the questions again.

Did she attack you?

_No_

Does she look like a freak?

_No but her eyes are freaky_.

Is she hot like the other girls.

_Hotter_.

Did she go nuts at Edward?

_No_.

and on it went.

Despite the fact that we were wolves for the sole purpose of killing vampires that tried to hurt our tribe, we were curious. Before Bella and the Cullen's, vampires were seen as the bad guy. A soul less creature with no personality, no feelings and no emotion. But I had seen it, they loved, they hurt, they had emotions and it was more intense for them then it was for any human. I knew now that Edward loved Bella more then I was even capable of. The pain he felt over changing her was more then my body would have been able to physically handle.

It was a question from Quil that caught me by surprise, when we were sitting at my kitchen table eating.

"Edward must have been happy to have her back."

"Yeah," I said, not thinking. "Well actually," I said looking up from my plate, as I thought back to the moment she woke up. I had been so caught up in my own emotions I hadn't really noticed at the time.

"I don't think they even hugged each other." I said, thinking hard over the event.

Quil just about choked on his food. "What?! No way! Was she angry at him for changing her?"

"I don't think so, she didn't say that. I'm not sure what it was to be honest"

"Did he catch you feeling up his wife?" Quil laughed.

"No!" I almost yelled, but something on my face gave it away.

"Shit, he did didn't he? He caught you getting a sneaky feel in on his wife!!" Quil accused.

"Shut up man, it wasn't like that. But Bella did kiss me, not like in a romantic way though, and I think he may have seen it. But from where he was standing it wouldn't of looked good.....there was no tongue or anything." I added to clarify. I realised then that's why he was trying to read my mind. Why his reaction to Bella was nothing like we all had expected it to be.

"Shit." I mumbled.

"They'll sort it out." Quil offered his advice.

"Yeah your right." I sighed. I hoped so.

EPOV

I was getting nowhere fast, digging my own grave faster then anyone possible. I was pushing Bella further and further away when all I wanted to do was pull her close to me.

I didn't know what to say when she called me out for reading her mind. I was shocked and humiliated that I had been caught. There was never more of a coward then I at this moment.

We had hunted our big game, and we were all now just sitting around talking, looking at the stars. The night sky made a barely noticeable shift from black to deep blue, as the moon emerged from behind the clouds.

"Its beautiful," Bella's voice was not much louder then a whisper.

"As are you," I said softly, looking at her shyly.

"Thanks," she said, and bit down on her lip. Then returned her gaze to the sky.

I moved slowly, and sat next to her on the log she had perched herself on. She didn't acknowledge my presence, her gaze still up at the sky.

"You know," she started, " I hadn't realised all the different colours in the sky until now. You don't realise how much you don't see with human sight."

"Its amazing isn't it, the blues, greens, the red, so many different colours." I replied.

I took a breath, "Bella I'm sorry...'

"Don't say it Edward.....its OK. I heard it all when I was changing. You don't need to say it all again. I'm fine with it now, I just have to make the best with what I have." she turned to me and rested her hand against my check and guided my head to face her.

"But I'm..." her hand dropped from my face, my skin still burning from her touch.

"I said it was OK" and she went back to gazing at the sky. She didn't speak to me again the rest of the night, but we sat together in comfortable silence, The sky gradually lightened, and the stars faded into the luminous blue.

**

The day was spent with Bella practising her hunting skills. It didn't take long for her to perfect them. I had to admit that I was impressed. Bella shut Emmett up by giving him an arm wrestle and winning. We also had a boulder throwing competition, and we talked more through out the day. We did other activities which would allow Bella to test her strengths and weaknesses. She tested her shield which she seemed capable of throwing out at a whim to protect whoever she wanted.

A friendly competition developed through out the day between us. Emmett tried but could not match Bella's newborn strength, which gave her a greater range when she threw the boulders, or jumped high or across the ground. But Bella couldn't compete with my speed or Jasper's accuracy. If he said the boulder was going to land in a certain place, it did. We all joked, teased and laughed together.

It had been a good day, this day I had gotten to laugh and talk with Bella, it was progress. Even with all the fun that eased the tension between Bella and I, a distance remained between us that I seemed incapable of closing. When we talked, it was about safe subjects like hunting or learning new skills. The conversations were good, but the introduction of any personal element caused uncomfortable silences. An accidental touch was like a jolting shock, which we would both spring apart from. I would respond by being formal and courteous, but my thoughts would linger about her touch, and I constantly wondered what she was thinking.

We had planned to leave before sunset, but Emmett had smelt a bear and thought it would be fun to wrestle, he was yet to return. So we all sat on a cliff top waiting for him before returning to Forks.

I had been speaking to Carlisle about Bella's self control. He was very impressed, as I was. For a 3 day old vampire she acted decades old. She had no desire to find human blood, it would seem she also had super self control. I had just finished talking to Carlisle when I heard her laugh.

I was expecting to see her with Alice or Jasper, or maybe Emmett had returned and I hadn't noticed. But it was neither. She had her phone in her hand. I knew immediately who she would be texting. I wanted to rip the phone out her hands, read what she was writing, and snap the phone in half. I wanted to do all those things. I stood frozen in place, by my own jealous rage. Knowing if I moved, or spoke it wouldn't end well......for me. I watched, watched the wind blowing her hair, watching her smile at the texts she read. I cringed every time that phone went off. Was he sending her sweet texts, messages of love, I miss you's. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Esme. _Son, don't let your imagination get the best of you. You know as well I do, you of all people think to much._

I gave her a pained expression.

She smiled gently, _one way or another it will work itself out._

BPOV

Being a vampire was amazing. I suited it, well I thought so. I had a wonderful fun day. I beat Emmett in an arm wrestle, I couldn't believe it but I couldn't help but brag about it. I had laughed and talked with Edward, he was more gorgeous now then ever before looking at him through these eyes. It took everything I had not to drag him into the forest and have my wicked way with him. There was so many other things going on with Edward and I, I knew it would only make the situation more awkward if we took that step to soon. I still felt hurt and rejected by how he had welcomed me back. You could almost say I wasn't feeling the love. He tried to talk to me last night, to apologise, but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted him to tell me he loved me, that he still wanted me as a vampire. I wanted him to tell me, I was still his Bella.

I let out a loud breath, as I sat and waited for Emmett to return. I picked up my bag. It turned out I didn't need to change my clothes. I would wait to get home to shower and change. I pulled my phone out. It had been awhile since I heard from Charlie. He would be letting me enjoy married life. I hoped I would be able to see him again. I flicked open my phone, and thought of Jacob.

B: _Hey Jake, headn back to forks tonight. Kicked emmetts butt in arm wrestling, youre next!_

I waited patiently for a reply, it didn't take long.

J: _Go Bells!! Oh no your not ready to face the all mighty Jacob Black._

I laughed out loud.

B:_ Is that so? Well i'm not going to try and arm wrestle you. Wouldn't want to hurt you_!

J: _In your dreams Bells ha ha_

B:_ More like in your dreams! Want to meet up tomorrow? I wont eat you. I promise_.

J: _So what are you saying? Your not into hot dogs? Ha ha_

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

B: _No I prefer ice cold and dead._

J: _Gross ha ha_

Our friendly texting banter continued on for another 10 minutes, until Emmett returned. I noticed Edward looking at me strangely when I stood to leave. I smiled at him, but he didn't return the smile. He was to busy trying to read my mind again, so I walked off. I didn't talk to him once on the run home, and he made no attempt to talk to me.

**

I decided not to join the rest of the Cullen's back at the house, and chose instead to go to the cottage. I was hoping Edward would join me, he was my husband after all. But he didn't, and I'm sure my dead heart broke a little bit. Did he not want me any more? Was I to late? Did I push him away when I shouldn't have?

I showered even though I still looked clean, despite the fact that Id been hunting. I washed my hair and body like I would if I was still human. I stepped out the shower and look at myself in the full length mirror. My eyes were still red, Carlisle said it would take few months for them to fade to amber. I still looked like me, but more womanly....more beautiful. It was odd to look in the mirror and think that I was never going to age or change. I wasn't ready for this but I could deal with that, I could move past that but I needed Edward by my side. Without him, all this meant nothing.

After I showered I put my pyjamas on, even though I knew I couldn't sleep. It just seemed the right thing to do. I had no intention of running around outside and besides, pyjamas are comfortable. I got myself comfortable on the couch and turned on my large TV. Flicking through channels trying to find something interesting to watch. I still hoped Edward would come to the cottage, but he never did.

I watched a few movies and a couple programs on animal planet. I sat and watched the animals wondering what each one of them would taste like. I decided I missed sleeping, surely the Cullen's had moments when they were just bored. I was having that moment now. I watched television until the sun rose, indicating a new day. I decided I would get changed and text Jacob to see when he wanted to meet up.

*

Jacob said he would be ready to meet in about in a few hours, he was just doing some jobs for Billly. I thought Id kill sometime with the Cullen's while I waited.

"Good morning" I said smiling as I walked in the door.

"Morning." I heard from different corners of the house.

"How are you feeling today?" Carlisle asked.

"Great," I replied. I heard the piano playing and knew immediatley that it was Edward playing. A new song perhaps? I hadn't heard this one before. I followed the sound into the room where Edward was playing. Without thinking I sat down next to him on the piano seat. It was to late when I realised I hadn't asked if it was alright for me to sit there.

"Is this new?" I asked him, referring to the song he was playing.

"Yes," he replied, " I came up with it last night."

"What is it called?"

"I haven't named it yet,"

"Is this why you didn't come back to the cottage last night?" I asked.

He stopped playing.

"No, that's not why" he said

"Well, tell my why then?"

"I thought you didn't want me there." he said.

"What? Why would you think that? Did I say I didn't want you there?" I asked, my annoyance with him growing.

"No you didn't say anything, you didn't need to." he replied softly.

I exploded.

"What the hell are you talking about? You cant read my mind, you don't know shit about what goes on in my head! I didn't need to say anything?? Give me a break!! I would never think that of you, never! I waited for you last night, and you want to tell me that you didn't think I wanted you there with me? You give me a shitty welcome back, no kiss, no hug, no love, no nothing and you think I don't want you!!" The whole house had gone silent as I ranted at Edward.

"I'm sorry...." Edward began but I cut him off.

"Shove your sorry. I'm sick of these god dam apologies. I told you I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to just make the best of what I had, I wanted to move on. I thought that I was going to be doing this with you!"

"Bella...I"

"Screw you Edward Cullen." I growled and fled from the house into the forest. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I ran until I come to a cliff face that over looked La Push beach. I sat on the edge and looked out to the ocean, throwing small stones out into the sea that I could find sitting around me.

There was a few people down on the beach, and at first I thought I may have made a huge mistake coming here, near people. But I felt nothing towards them, I could smell them but it wasn't appealing. I hoped that would never change.

I continued to sit looking out at the ocean. I felt incredibly lonely. Then my phone beeped.

J: _All ready, when and where you want to meet?_

I texted back.

B: _Well Im actually sitting on a cliff face overlooking La Push, care to join me?_

He didn't reply straight away and I was tempted to resend the text, in case he hadn't gotten it. I looked up along the beach as he walked down on to the sand of the beach, he was looking around and finally saw me. I waved. He waved back and reached for his phone.

J: _Come down to the beach, no sun today so it will be ok._

B: _But the Quilette boundrys?_

J:_ You've got an escort. You've got yourself a day pass_.

I smiled at the text. I stood and waved to him and then dissappeared back into the forest, making my way down to the beach.


	24. Major Misunderstanding

'JPOV

It didn't take long for Bella to arrive on the beach. She put her head down as she passed an elderly couple walking along the beach, obviously hiding her red eyes. I instantly worried that this maybe to much for Bella, to be around humans, but it didn't seem to bother her at all. I prayed that was the case, if she lost control now it would be up to me to restrain her.

"I'm sorry, I forgot about the other humans and how it might be hard on you. We can go somewhere else if you like." I said to her as she reached me.

"No no, its fine here. They don't bother me." she gestured towards the humans. "I just need to look down when they get to close so they don't see my eyes, that's all."

"So," I started, " hows it all going vampire girl?"

"Oh Jacob," she sobbed and came at me for a hug. I held her closely and kissed her on the forehead.

"Lets walk," I chuckled, " tell Dr Jacob all about it."

She smiled. We started to walk and I threw my arm over her shoulder, as her arm went around my waist.

"So how's Edward? He must be so relieved to have you back." I was relieved to have her back, so I could imagine how he was feeling.

Bella was quiet for a minute before she spoke.

"You would think he would feel that way..........but no....... I kind of just finished yelling at him. Its not going so well." she said back.

"Is that part of the new born temper or something?" I asked. Bella yelling at Edward was almost unheard of.

"Could be," she said shrugging, " I don't really know. Its just not going as well as I had hoped I guess. I had this idea of how it was going to be. I clung to that idea, you know. Now its not happening, I feel like my whole world is slowly falling apart."

"Have you talked to Edward about this?" I asked. I found it hard to believe he was hurting her like this. He loved her, I had seen it.

"No, I cant." she said. "Hes so busy trying to read my mind, its like he doesn't know what to say to me. We talk, but not about anything personal. I guess I don't help the situation either, I don't really talk to him either."

"Oh" I said, and waited for Bella to continue.

"He hasn't even touched me Jacob. Maybe a accidental touch of the hands, but we haven't hugged or anything. Its like he doesn't want to, I think he doesn't want me any more." and she looked at the ground. Of course he wanted her, there was something wrong with this whole situation. I stopped Bella and made her face me.

"Bella look at me." I said softly, and she raised her head.

I cant believe I was going to say this, and I certainly hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. I didn't really want to bring it up and possibly offend her. I didn't want to feel the wrath of Bella, not today, not any day.

"Do you think that maybe he saw you kiss me, and has taken it the wrong way?" I asked.

"But that was just a big thank you kiss, it had no romantic implications" she said in defense. " I was just so happy to be awake again, to be back. I don't mean to offend you Jake but it didn't mean anything."

I pushed a free strand of hair behind her ears, and lifted her head gently by her chin,

"You haven't offended me Bells. I know it didn't mean anything. But does Edward know that?" I asked her softly. Trying to get her to see it from his point of view. Edward and Bella needed to talk. Why the both seemed incapable of it mystified me.

Realisation swept across her face, "oh my god." she dropped to her knees, so I dropped with her.

"Your right Jacob, your so right. It was me, it was me that caused this. I have to tell him, I have to apologise to him. He wouldn't know, he hasn't been able to read my mind to see what the kiss meant and who would want to ask? I wouldn't want to ask. I forgot all bout it. Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. I thought he didn't want me, and the whole time he is probably feeling the same way. I have to go Jacob, I have to go to him and tell him."

I smiled at her, " of course, let me walk you to the bush edge though."

"OK" she said standing back up.

I walked her back to the forest edge, and we said our goodbyes. I smiled as she left knowing that I had done a good deed today. I was heading back to the house, when my phone beeped. I had a message from Leah.

EPOV

I hadn't expected her to yell at me, I guess I deserved it when I looked at it from her point of view.

"You have to go after her,"

"I can't, she doesn't want to talk to me. You all saw that. She doesn't want to be anywhere near me."

"Its not about you," Rosalie snapped. "Newborn vampire, remember. She can't be out walking around by herself. Use your head Edward!"

Rosalie was absolutely right, I had to find her. She couldn't be out alone as a new born in case she run into a tasty human. I followed her scent through the forest. She seemed to have ran fairly close to the boundary line we shared with the werewolves. I took my time, I was being cautious. The last thing I wanted to do was sneak up on Bella when she was angry with me. Eventually her scent led me to a cliff face over looking La Push beach. It was fairly close to the border. I was about to turn and follow her scent when I saw her walk out on to the beach.

_What is she doing? Is she insane, she's breaking the treaty_!

_Oh no! And there are humans on that beach._

It was a mixture of panic and being proud, when I saw Bella walk straight past the elderly couple. But my amazement quickly turned to anger when I seen her walk up to a man. Jacob. They were out of hearing range for me. I saw her rush into his arms, and he kissed her gently on the forehead. I ripped a chunk of wood from the tree I was holding on to, my jealousy and anger coming to the surface.

_She just finished yelling at me, and then she comes to him. To be with him? No, no, that cant be right._

I watched, transfixed. I didn't want to spy but I couldn't pull my eyes away.

They turned and walked along the beach, and I almost ripped the whole tree out of the ground when I saw her arm go around his waist. They looked like any other couple on the beach, and it killed me.

They stopped walking after a short time and Jacob turned Bella to face him. I didn't like where this was going.

_Turn away Bella, please, turn away_.

I saw her look up at him. They spoke a few words, then his hand tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. I saw his hand lift her chin, and I started to back away. I couldn't watch where this was headed. I stumbled backwards, and fell. I got up, turned and ran.

She was choosing him.

I ran back to the house, I slammed the door almost having it fly off its hinges. Every one looked at me, but no one said anything, or questioned me.

I returned to my piano, but I was to angry to play. So I went to my room upstairs to play some music, but that couldn't keep my attention for very long either. Eventually it was Carlisle that got my attention in the kitchen, he wanted to talk about Bella's shield. I didn't really want to talk about that, but at least the conversation would keep me distracted from what was really bothering me.

BPOV

I didn't even remember the run back to the house, I was to distracted by my own mind. I still couldn't quite believe how foolish I had been. I had decided the only way to sort this out was to face Edward directly.

I walked into the house, and saw Edward and Carlisle in the kitchen talking. I noticed he seemed very tense. He looked at me, but then quickly looked away. I walked towards them, and Edward seemed nervous. He took a step as if he was in a hurry to go but he obviously couldn't break off his conversation with Carlisle so abruptly.

"Hey Edward," I said nervously. " I wanted to talk to you about something."

He turned and looked at me. "I'm busy with Carlisle now." his voice, cold and hard.

"I think we are through, if you want to talk to Bella." Carlisle said, eyeing his son.

Edward looked down, and then at Carlisle. He was avoiding looking at me, and seeing my troubled gaze. He then said softly. "I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

I felt my face drain, my life, everything just drained away. Then shock. He didn't want me. He didn't even want to talk to me.

"Uh....well, uh....I'm.......I'm sorry I bothered you." and I started to back away. Wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.

I hurried back to the cottage, and was glad that I shared this space with no one else. I pulled out clothes from the closet, laying them on the bed. I planned to leave in the evening. If Edward didn't want me, I wouldn't stay. I would say goodbye to.......no one. If I told Jacob, he would try stop me so I would settle for texting him. I wouldn't tell anyone.

It was going to be hard leaving, knowing I would never see the Cullen family. It was even harder trying to find a way to talk to Edward, at least once more.I did try again, but he avoided me, so I returned back to the cottage defeated. He really didn't want me. I laid on the couch and closed my eyes, knowing sleep would not come.

I thought of Edward, of our time together and the love we had shared. I loved him from the beginning, and at some point in time he had loved me, although I couldn't believe a god like creature like him could love some one so boring as me. I had been slow to recognise his feeling's towards me as love, I was slow to appreciate what he really meant to me. So slow that I lost it. I threw away his love and would pay for it for the rest of my immortal life. How could I have been so stupid, so foolish? I would never forget him, or the pain of losing him, and I would never forgive myself.

It was a long difficult afternoon, and when the sun disappeared I could stand it no longer. I couldn't say goodbye to him, or to anybody, I just had to leave. I quietly picked up my clothes, put them in a bag and slipped out the cottage.

"You decided not to wait. I thought as much." Alice said.

I spun around. " I.....ah....have to go. I cant stay any more. Its time...I...ah.."

"I know Bella, I wish you well. You must decide for yourself what is best." and then she turned around and ran off into the forest. That was unlike Alice to not show any kind of emotion.

I walked into the forest at human speed. I was in no hurry to go anywhere. I pulled my phone out and texted Jacob.

B: Things didn't go so well with Edward. Am leaving. Will always remember you. Goodbye Jacob.

And I turned my phone off, and sat it on a log I walked past.

EPOV

Something was wrong, something didn't feel right. I knew I had hurt Bella by not wanting to talk to her but I didn't want to hear her tell me she chose Jacob. I couldn't deal with it. Alice was acting strange and had disappeared with Jasper into the forest.

The feeling that something wasn't right grew distinctly stronger.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't notice Jacob's thoughts until he came crashing through the front door in wolf form. Howling and growling, he saw me and ran straight for me. He was so fast I didn't have a chance to react. He threw me up against the wall with a hard swipe from his large paw, I smashed into the wall, leaving a huge hole in it. My family growled in response, positioning themselves into defensive positions. Jacob didn't even flinch. He let out a loud growl, and then phased back to his human form. Quickly pulling his sweat pants on. Even in the midst of a possible battle, we all averted our eyes so he could cover his nakedness.

"You!" he yelled, pointing at me, s I still lay slumped against the floor after falling from the wall. " Bella is gone. She isn't just gone for a hunt either, or for a walk, she is gone, and it is all your fault!!" he accused.

"What do you mean she's gone?" I asked stunned. I pulled myself off the floor, and stood before him. He wasn't making any sense, and throwing me into Esme's wall wasn't necessary.

"She's left, packed her some clothes and left. I found this." he pulled her phone from his pocket and threw it at me. "It was laying on a log not far from the cottage. She texted me saying she was leaving, when I tried to ring her, her phone was off." Realisation hit me.

"She's gone?" my voice almost a whisper. "But she didn't even say goodbye!"

"What the hell did you do?" Jacob roared.

"I......I didn't do anything." I stuttered. "She....she didn't want me. What could I do?"

Jacob threw his hands in the air. "Idiots! You two could drive someone insane!" he walked right up to me, putting his face right up to mine. I could feel his breath on my face. "What do you want to do?"

I looked at him, unsure of what to say. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I thought she had wanted Jacob, but why would she leave if she wanted him? None of this was making any sense.

"What. Do. You. Want. To. Do? Answer me god dam it." he yelled.

I started to ramble. " I want to be with her. But she's gone. How could she leave me? I wanted to be with her. That's what we planned, to be together forever. What happened to everything we had planned?" The last question directed at myself.

"Lives change, Edward. You got to deal with it, especially when your the one changing it" Jacob said angrily, poking me in the chest with his finger as he spoke.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me? She loves you." he replied rather matter of factly. He didn't appear to be hurt by that statement. It simply was how it was.

"But she left me, and didn't say goodbye. Jacob, why did she leave without me? What did I do wrong?" I pleaded. I wanted answers, and I was willing to take them from any one who could give them to me.

"Do you think you did something wrong?" he asked.

I frowned. " She wanted to talk to me earlier, and I wouldn't talk to her."

"Why wouldn't you talk to her?"

"Because...because she didn't want me. I've wanted to love and hold her these last few days, but she didn't want me. She wouldn't even talk to me."

"She wouldn't talk to you?" He retorted. "So when she did want to talk to you, you wouldn't talk to her??" Jacob was clearly frustrated. "I guess it happens like that sometimes." he sighed.

"But I do want to talk to her Jacob. I want to be with her, even if she doesn't love me. But she's gone. She just left. She cant be gone. She can't have gone.....far.'

Jacob looked at me and smiled.

There was hope, and my excitement grew. "How far could she be? I am faster then her, I could catch up with her. Maybe I should go after her and see what she wanted. I should be with her. I love her."

"Then go after her, if you want her, if you love her, then go. Tell her how you feel. At least give her the chance to tell you what she wanted to say," Jacob said, he was calming down quite quickly.

I pulled myself together, " I have to go, right now." I said firmly.

"Well then, lets go. I will help you." and I rushed out the door after him and into the forest, where Leah had been waiting for Jacob.


	25. Making Up

EPOV

"We have to find her." I said to Jacob, in his wolf form.

Jacob and I sniffed the air; Jacob sniffing the trampled grass that she had walked on. Jacob, Leah and I took off into the forest, following her scent.

It was only after we had started running that the question's came to me.

_What am I going to say to her? _

_How can I tell her that I wanted her with me? _

_What if she won't listen to me? _

_What if she no longer wants me?_

BPOV

The darkness made the forest quiet, but I strode through the forest faster then human speed, oblivious to the beauty the full moon gave the forest and river. I didn't know where I was going. I just followed the river I had found. But with each step I took further away from Edward, my thoughts seemed to feel heavier.

_Why am I leaving?_

_ Why am I leaving without him?_

_ Why am I traveling alone?_

_ Maybe I should go back, ask him he wants to come with me? _

_Or should I stay there with his family? _

_They are his family, and he doesn't want me._

_Did I even give him a choice?_

I don't think I had. How could he make a choice if there was none to make. I had never even asked him what he wanted.

EPOV

She hadn't chose Jacob, as I had stupidly assumed. I didn't even give her a chance to tell me that she hadn't chose him, and as I looked back at it, it seemed like there was nothing to tell. She probably didn't even realise I had thought that. Me and my wild imagination came up with that all by ourselves. I never gave her a choice. I had pushed her away, wrapped up in my own feelings, I had left her no other option but to share her feelings with someone else.

_Why didn't I give her a chance to express her feelings? _

_Oh that's right because I wouldn't talk to her when she came to me._

_Why wouldn't I talk to her?_

I answered my own question;

_It was because I was afraid she would choose someone else._

_I didn't give her the chance to talk to me. Was I better off now? No._

_What will I say to her when I see her?_

_ What can I offer her? _

_I know she doesn't want to hear another apology_.

_I could ask her to come back. I could even offer to be just her friend if that's what she wanted. _

_Could I stand that? Could I share her with someone else should she find someone else? _

_It was possible that she could, considering we lived forever. _

_If the only other choice is not having her at all, could I stay together for the family, and share her?_

I frowned while I ran.

_Only if I had no other choice. What I wanted the most was to take her home, to our home, our cottage._

_We are close_, Jacob's thoughts told me. _Stay back, Ill go to her first, just in case….she's angry. I'll come for you when I find her._

I nodded. "Thank you Jacob,"

He nodded his large wolf head, and disappeared into the darkness, while Leah remained with me.

BPOV

I was so engrossed in my thoughts; I didn't even hear the dull crunch of paws running on the riverbed until Jacob in wolf form suddenly appeared in front of me.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" I stared at him in disbelief.

He whined.

"Im leaving Jacob, you can't stop me."

He whined again, and then phased back to human.

"Im not trying to stop you, but someone else might be. Just try and listen. Promise me you will hear him out."

"Jacob what are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"Just listen to him, if not for anyone else, listen to him for me." he kissed me on the cheek.

_What was he talking about?_

"Wait here," he whispered the phased back into wolf form and disappeared back into the forest.

I stood in silence, except for the sound of the water flowing down the river.

EPOV

_Go to her_, Jacob thought, _she's waiting. We will leave you to have some privacy. Bring your wife home Edward_, and with that he and Leah ran off back the way we came.

I ran toward where Bella waited, and slowed before I emerged from the bushes. I walked out the bushes, and she spun around to face me. I walked towards her, shy now, so afraid she would turn her back on me. How could I tell her, how could I make her listen? What could I do if she wouldn't listen to me? I walked up to her, neither of us saying anything. Her eyes were wide with surprise. I didn't now how to start, so I did the one thing I thought of. That was getting on my knees, in a way trying to show her I wanted to beg her to forgive me.

"Get up," she said. "You don't have to do that."

But I said nothing. She dropped down in front of me.

"Edward, why are you doing this? Why are you here?" she asked.

"Bella, earlier today you tried to tell me something and I wouldn't listen to you. Now I want to tell you something. It is difficult to say, but I want you to listen. Will you listen to me, and not turn away?"

She nodded, and hope blazed so hot I couldn't speak for a few seconds. I reached out and held her hands.

"Awhile ago, you wanted to be like me" I began, "and I didn't want to change you so soon, but my selfish side wanted it, wanted it more then anything. When I lost control and it happened when you weren't ready, I thought you would hate me and never forgive me. I feel like somewhere through your change I lost you, I thought….I thought you loved Jacob. Once you told me you loved me, that you wanted me. Now, I think you don't want to love me, but I still love you."

"Get up Edward, please," she said, as she stood up herself. "I don't want Jacob, Edward. I never did. I love you Edward, I never stopped loving you."

I wrapped my arms around her.

"You love me? You still love me? Oh Bella, my Bella," I said, and I crushed her into me. I pulled back and looked at her, as thought I was seeing her for the first time. My eyes, my entire body, filled with love for this woman in my arms. She reached for me, and my mouth found hers. We came together, holding each other, with a hard and tender passion, full of love, full of longing.

BPOV

I couldn't believe I was in his arms, that he was holding me, wanting me, loving me, after what seemed like an eternity. I wanted to cry tears of happiness.

He looked at me, his face beautiful in the moonlight. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes Im fine, I just love you. I wish I could cry tears of happiness. It feels like it has been forever without you and I love you so much."

He kissed my eyes, my mouth, and it fell open to him, gently but firmly. I could kiss him completely now, and it was incredible.

"Edward are you really here?" I asked, "I thought Id lost you, and I knew it was my own fault. I love you, Edward. I never stopped loving you. You must believe that. I never stopped, even though I knew why you thought so."

He nodded, and kissed me again. "I love you Bella. Maybe only now do I realize how important that is to me. Not just that you love me, but that I love you. Now I know, for me there is only one choice. You are more important to me then my family, more important then anyone. I want to be, wherever you are. If you want to continue to travel I will follow, if you choose to return home I will be at home with you."

"If that's what you want?" I asked. I didn't care either way now, as long as I was with him, I couldn't care less where I was.

"I want to be with you, that's the most important, believe me, but if you ask me what I want. I want to go home, to our cottage, and I want to take you with me."

"Oh Edward." he had said everything I had wanted to hear, plus more.

EPOV

I was feeling happier than I ever had in my life. I kissed her, then held her to me as though I was afraid if I let her go, I might lose her, like I almost did before.

I kissed her again, and the need for her grew with the wonder of being there. But I wanted no taking of her like last time. I wanted her fully, completely. I removed the backpack that was still on Bella's back.

I walked Bella over to a small patch of grass and sat down. I reached my hand up to her, and she sat down and joined me. I was already tingling with anticipation, from wanting her so much.

I kissed her then, lightly, and reached for her breast, and savored even the small familiarity of its full, round shape through her cotton top. She obviously remembered the touch of my hands, because she sat up pulled her shirt off and looked at me, inviting me to touch her. I reached for her with both hands, and in the next instant I had her on her back with my mouth firmly on hers. I didn't have to be careful with her anymore. My hand caressed her breast, and found the nipple.

BPOV

I moaned, as the sensation of his mouth on me sent waves of electricity to deep inside me, to the place that hungered for him. I rubbed his arms, and his back, then the back of his neck, and his hair. He was kissing me again, his tongue gently probing. I pulled his tongue into my mouth, and then put my tongue into his mouth. His touch was never too much, it now could be never too hard, or rough, or frenzied. I delighted in the new feeling that he didn't have to control himself, he could just be him. It almost felt like our first time, and I guess it was in this form. I was learning how to be with him in this form, and remembering just how well he knew me. How many nights had I longed for him?

EPOV

I tasted the sweet scent of her mouth, and the taste of her skin as I kissed her throat, she shivered under my touch. I kissed her shoulder, nibbled lightly, and suckled, playing with the sensitive places I knew were there. Unexpectedly I took her nipple again. She gasped, and moaned with pleasure. I sat up and looked at her. I wanted to memorize her. She was smiling up at me.

"I love you Edward, and I have wanted you so much."

"Oh Bella, I ached with wanting you, and yet I almost lost you. How could I, when I love you so much?" I kissed her again, holding her tight. She clung to me with the same fervor, and suddenly there was no more waiting. I removed her jeans. She lifted her hips and helped push them off, then I unfastened my own, pulled off my shirt and kicked off my shoes.

I hugged her around the waist with my head on her stomach, then moved down between her legs, kissed her in her special place. I pushed her legs apart, and with both hands I held her open and looked at her deep pink folds, like soft moist flower petals. Then like a bee, I dipped and tasted. Bella cried out, and arched her back. I explored each fold, each crease, nibbling, sucking, teasing, licking, and reveling in giving her pleasure, as I had wanted to do, for days without number.

This was Bella, This was my Bella. This was her taste, her honey. I was so full and eager for her now, but I wanted to wait, wanted this to last, but suddenly Bella could not. She was breathing hard, and fast, panting, gasping, calling out to me. She reached for me, pulling me up like a rag doll, and then she reached down to guide me into her warm deep depths.

As I slid in, I breathed a deep sigh, and let my full length glide in and in, until she enfolded me fully. This was my Bella. The woman I fitted. I stayed for a moment, enjoying her full embrace. It had been like this with her from the first time, and every time.

I pulled back, and felt her thrust to me, as I thrust into her. I pulled back again, and pushed, and back and in again. Then suddenly, I was ready, and she was crying out, and I pulled back and in once more, and the wave rolled and up reached the peak, and broke over them in a release of shuddering spent delight.

I collapsed on top of her, knowing she could now take my weight. Resting was part of the pleasure.

BPOV

I loved the feel of his weight on me. He didn't feel heavy at all. It was a new high for me to have him lay on top of me. I now felt complete, with him breathing heavily on top of me, still buried inside of me.

EPOV

I loved the feel of her full body under me. It had been so long, so stupidly long. But Bella loved me. How could she still me after all that? How could he be so lucky? Never, ever again would I let her go.

After a short while, I pulled out and rolled over and smile at her.

"Edward?" Bella asked after a while.

"Yes my love?" I said

"Let's go swimming, the river is right there. Let's go for a moon lit skinny dip."

I sat up beside her, "Let's go." I said. I was up in an instant, and then helped her up. Not that she needed help.

We swam and played in the river, like it was the middle of the day. After our swim we got dressed, feeling refreshed and happy.

"Edward?" she asked again.

"Yes my love," I replied again.

"Let's go home."

Ï smiled my dazzling smile. "Race you there!"

She grinned back at me, "Ok, can you grab my bag please."

"Sure." I turned to get her bag, and then heard her laughter, as she disappeared in the forest running home. Running to our home.

I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face; I picked the back pack off the ground and took off after her.


	26. Being honest

BPOV

We ran through the forest back towards home, laughing most the way. I knew we had much to discuss, but that could wait until we got home. For now, I was just happy to be with him again, to know he loved me, and that I loved him.

I had to admit I was surprised when I saw Alice waiting by the cottage, smiling. She had showed very little emotion when she had spoken to me earlier.

"I knew you would make the right decision," she said, as she gave me a hug.

I reached for Edward's hand, entwining my fingers with his, making sure this was real.

"Why couldn't you tell me Alice?" I asked her, it would have saved a lot of trouble if she told me this was going to happen.

"Would you have believed me?" she simply answered.

I thought about it, with the state of mind I was in, no I probably wouldn't have believed her. "No I wouldn't have."

"And I knew if I tried to stop you, it would have been of even worse." She said.

"Really?" I was actually quite curious.

"Yes really, if I tried to stop you, you would have taken off running, not bothering to text Jacob, giving no warning that you were going. I would have tried to convince Edward that you had left, but he wouldn't believe me until morning thinking that you would return, and by then you would have been long gone, and incredibly hard for us to track." She sighed at the end. "You don't make it easy for me do you Bella?" but she was smiling now. She hugged me and said she would tell the rest of the family we were 'happily' married again. I watched her run off back to the house. It was good to be home.

"Shall we?" Edward asked, gesturing to the door of our cottage.

"Of course," I said, and we opened the door together and went inside. Now it felt right, to be here, with him, like this.

I went and collapsed on the couch, it made no difference to how I felt. I remember when you had a hard day, had sore feet, you just wanted to come home and collapse on the couch or bed. I wanted that feeling of relief when you finally hit the bed or couch, I felt nothing. I was just as comfortable standing up then as I was lying down. Those were the little things I would miss, but I knew, I had to make the best of what I had, and what I had was Edward. I looked at him from where I was lying on the couch.

"May I join you?"

"Yup." I said, I pulled up my feet so he could sit down, and then put my legs over his lap.

We looked at each other for a long time, neither of us speaking, unsure of what to say. I knew if we didn't say the things we wanted to say, it would bottle up inside ourselves, and I didn't want a repeat performance. But it was Edward who spoke first.

"Im insecure, and Jacob makes me jealous, even though I know it shouldn't" he blurted out. I sat up and looked at him. I had no idea, well not until recently when Jacob dropped it on me at the beach, and even then I didn't realize Edward could be jealous over him.

I reached for his hand. "I love you Edward, he's just a friend, like a brother almost."

He looked at the ceiling, "I know, I know. Its not you and it's not even him. He has nothing but respect and love for you; I know that, I know that in my heart and in my brain. But I still feel it, those little niggling feelings of jealousy. Because you could talk to him, and not to me. Because you could play guitar hero with him, and not with me. I know that playing a game with him isnt a big deal, I think what bothered me the most was because there were things you done with him you wouldn't do with me."

"Im sorry Edward, I hadn't realized you were feeling that way. He always said to talk to you about those things, but I couldn't. I was worried how you would react; I didn't want to hurt you. I wished I could always tell you what you want to hear." Then I smiled, "and as for the game, it wasn't even fair for me to play against you, but now. Wow, I might just win."

He chuckled. "We shall see."

"I will do what I can do help ease you insecurities over Jacob but Im not sure what I can do." I said looking into his eyes, I really wanted him to understand that I did love him and I wanted no one else but him.

"You don't need to do anything Bella, it is me, all me. I trust you; my issues with Jacob are in my own head and my own imagination." and he run his fingers through his fair in frustration. Not at me, but at himself, for not being able to control his emotions.

"Ok" I said softly.

"Oh and Isle Esme, I snooped on your phone to." he said quickly.

"What?" I asked. I couldn't believe it.

"Thought I may as well get it out there, while we are being honest." he said sheepishly.

I shrugged, "well that explains your mood that day." I had suspected he might have, but thought he wouldn't. I was obviously wrong.

"Yeah." He replied. We sat in silence a bit longer.

"I should have told you I didn't want to change so soon." I said. His eyes connected with mine again, and they were filled with sorrow. I rubbed his hand in between both of mine gently. "Don't worry Edward, Im not angry at you. I was at first, I was pissed I wanted to do all sorts of violent things to you, but that feeling went away almost as quickly as it came. It wasn't what I wanted at first, but I wouldn't want to change it. Me being changed now, just means we have to start our forever earlier then planned, and Im fine with that if you are?"

He grinned, an award winning smile. "Of course Im fine with it Bella." And he leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips.

_Was there anything else I wanted to tell him?_

I racked my brain, off the top of my head there wasn't really I wanted to say. I just wanted to love him, and be loved back.

"I was proud of you today," Edward stated, "I saw you walk past those humans, and it didn't seem to bother you."

_He was there at the beach?_

"Were you at the beach?" I asked.

He looked down, "Yes, I uh had followed you. I didn't mean to spy, it was only because you were a new born and I was worried you might stumble across a human. When I found you, you were just walking down on to the beach with Jacob. You were to far away and I couldn't really hear you, and I couldn't hear his thoughts. I assumed you had blocked them."

"I may have," I said, I actually didn't remember, had I blocked them? Or maybe when I was with him, it just automatically happened since I had done the first couple of times with him, I just done it without thinking. "I actually don't know if I did or not." and it was the truth.

"Well," he continued "anyway I watched for awhile, and when I thought he was about to kiss you, I run off. When you come back to the house, I didn't want to talk to you, afraid that you were picking him."

I stared at him in disbelief. Stunned into silence, before I realised he was waiting for me to speak.

"Uh….well, I didn't kiss him Edward, he was telling me I had to talk to you, he was right, so I came to talk to you to tell you I loved you. It didnt go so well did it? But Im glad things worked out in the end."

"Me to," he sighed, "but I have to say, Im still impressed how you handled the humans."

I shrugged, "It was nothing, really, they didn't smell nice or anything."

"Your shield?" he asked.

"What about it?" Were we on a different topic, or was he asking if my shield had anything to do with human's not smelling nice?

"Why did you shield Jacob from me?" he asked. We were on a different topic.

"Because I wanted you to focus on me." I said flatly, it was true. In that moment, when I turned around to face him when I had first awoken I wanted all of his attention to be on me.

He nodded, "Im sorry I didn't. I was to busy being jealous. Im sorry." He sighed, and then he turned to face me more. "So with your shield, you can just throw it out to protect any one around you."

I nodded, "so it would seem." I said. "It's pretty easy to control it, I can feel it, and I can see it. I can throw it out from me by just thinking about it." It seemed so natural to have my shield, and not 2 weeks ago I thought the entire idea of having a shield was ridiculous.

I looked at Edward and could almost see the idea clicking over in his mind, he quirked one eyebrow and looked at me, "could you throw it around me?"

"Yes." _but Im not going to._

"Go on then," he said.

"Not a chance," I said smiling.

"Why?" he asked, looking a little disappointed.

"Because if you're under my shield with me, you'll be able to read my mind, and I don't want you to. I like having you out of my mind. Don't get me wrong, if I ever have to use it to protect you I will."

He shrugged, and then smiled, "I thought you might say that, but it was worth a try."

I grinned at him. I threw the shield out around him for a split second, and his eyes flashed to mine.

"Bella?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, as innocently as I could.

"Did you just….did you just throw your shield out around me?"

"No, why would you say that?" still keeping up the pretense I was innocent, although Im sure the smile that I was trying to hold back was creeping across my face.

"Well, because I would bet anything that I just heard a thought of a beautiful woman who wants her husband to take her to bed."

"Well, there could be some truth in that statement." I said coyly.

And with that, he swept me up off the couch and to the room, where we spent the last couple of hours of darkness making love. I had never felt so complete, so sure of his love for me, and my love for him.

We watched the sun rise from our cottage morning. Edward cuddled up behind me.

"What shall we do today?" I asked.

"Well, I think I have a hole in the wall in the living room that I need to fix for Esme."

"What? A hole? What from?" I asked suprised.

"Lets just say, Jacob had to knock some sense into me, literally." He chuckled.

Who would have thought, Jacob would be the one to save our marriage, save our love. If someone told me, or Edward or Jacob for that matter that this would be how things turned out, I would have never believed it. My whole world was piecing together nicely. I had the Cullen's; I had Edward as my husband, Jacob as a friend. All I needed now was Charlie and Renee.

We lay in bed until mid morning, talking, catching up, laughing, kissing, touching, and making love some more. I was never going to get sick of him. It was a remarkable experience to be with him like this. I remembered when I was human, he felt cold and hard. Now that I was like him he was warm to me, and soft, and even more handsome through these eyes. I had forever to enjoy this, how could I had ever been mad at him for giving me this?

We were just getting out of bed when there was a knock on the door.

Who would be knocking? Surely any one of the Cullen's would just walk on in, especially Emmett.

I answered the door, and froze at the red eyes that stared back at me.

"My my Bella, I have been proved wrong, you are changed after all."

She looked as evil as ever.

"Jane." I nodded, as to greet her. It didn't feel right to say hello. How have you been? to this vile creature. Edward stood behind me, a hand protectively around my waist. Although I knew I would be the one that would have to protect him from her. Not the other way around.

"You have 5 minutes to meet me back at the Cullen's house, Aro is waiting." and she turned and left disappearing back towards the house.

"Why didn't Alice warn us?" I whispered to Edward, hoping that Jane was far enough away she wouldn't hear me.

He shrugged, he looked angry about this unwelcome surprise in this happy moment we had been sharing.

"Well I guess she couldn't ring my phone, I left it in the forest." I said, wishing I hadnt. Charlie had brought me that.

"I have it," Edward said, "its back at the house, where mine is to. Alice would likely have missed this visit because we had been too distracted with what has been happening with you."

I let out a long breath and slumped against the wall. "Well, they can't be angry." I started to say. "We kept our promise, I am changed."

Edward smiled, "Your right, there's nothing to worry about, lets get some clean clothes on and go meet Aro."


	27. Aro's Visit

Edward and I made our way back to the Cullen's large house quickly but warily. We had no idea what to expect from this meeting. We had told ourselves everything would be fine, afer all I was now a vampire, so really, there should be no problem right?

We walked in the house, the entire family in the living room, where Aro stood with Jane by his side. He turned and looked at me.

"Bella," he said as he turned to me, his voice gentle and caring. Almost like a grandfather talking to his favourite granddaughter. He opened his arms to me.

Did he want me to hug him?

As if Edward knew what I was thinking, he gently gave me nudge forward. I doubt anyone would of noticed he had done this, but I knew what he meant. I stepped forward into Aros arms.

"Its nice to see you again Aro. Are you checking on me?" I had to ask, I saw Rosalie's mouth drop out the corner of my eye. She genuinely seemed shocked that I would ask such a thing. I didn't see what the big deal was. Isn't that what we all wanted to know?

Aro chuckled at me, and released me from his embrace. " Ahh Bella, straight to the point are you. Yes you are the correct that is why I am here. I am sorry I couldn't make you wedding, but I am here now to give you your gift in person," he pulled out a small black box and passed it to me, but he continued to talk. "I have to say I am pleasantly surprised to see that you have been changed already, this is good news! Being a vampire definitely suits you. You look absolutely beautiful Bella. You being changed now will save me another trip. I can see you are still able to block my power." and he smiled warmly.

I didnt know wheather to be creeped out by him or thankful for the present and his kind words.

"Oh thank you Aro for the gift. Yes as you can see I'm a vampire now. Only a few days old at the moment, but I seem to be doing well.' I smiled weakly. I really didnt like talking about myself as a vampire, well not to Aro anyway.

"Your power?" he asked " can you control it?"

"Yes." I answered, I really wasn't comfortable with going into detail with him.

He nodded his head, and turned his head to Edward.

He reached out his hand to Edward, and my instincts told me to throw my shield out around Edward so I did.

Tell me if you want me to drop it, I thought. Knowing Edward could hear my thoughts.

His eyes flicked to mine, letting me know I was coming through to him loud and clear.

Aro stood for no more then 5 seconds, touching Edward. Waiting. He then stood back and clapped his hands. " Wonderful Bella, you are shielding Edward arent you? Can you protect anyone in this room?"

"Yes" I spoke, and I threw my shield out to protect the entire family.

"How strong is your shield Bella?" Aro asked, I could hear the curiosity raging in his voice.

"Strong enough to protect me from the change." I said. His eyes widened.

"I must say," Aro started, " I am more then curious about your power," and with that he gave a subtle hand signal to Jane. I felt her trying to attack Edwards mind. I could feel it. Her power had nothing on my shield. Whatever she was trying to do felt like pricks, almost like a pins and needles feeling. It didn't bother me at the slightest. I felt quite smug and couldn't help but smile at Jane, who only returned an angry glare. Another wave of Aros hand and the pricking feeling stopped.

"Very impressive dear Bella!!" Aro beamed.

"I wasnt trying to impress anyone, just trying to protect my family." I said annoyed, that he had no qualms about attempting to hurt someone to test my power.

"Now, now Bella, I didn't not come here to fight with you," he soothed, " please drop your shield, I have no intention of hurting your family. I am only curious to see your change through Edwards mind."

"Its ok Bella." Edward said, and I let the shield just snap back around me.

Aro touched Edward again, and it seemed for eternity that Aro seemed transfixed going through the thoughts of Edward.

"My goodness," Aro started, " you two have been through a lot since your wedding day" he exclaimed.

Edward and I nodded in agreement, and Edward took my hand in his.

"This is a very talented family," he said eyeing the entire family. "But you dear Bella, intrigue me."

Edwards grip on my hand tightened substantially when Aro spoke those words.

"How would you feel about coming to Italy, and staying with us for awhile. Your welcome to bring Edward of course."

There was no way in hell I was going to go with Aro. I was surprised he asked, and no doubt that showed on my face.

"Aro, thank you so much for your offer. But I regretfully have to decline." I saw Aro's face fall, I actually couldn't believe he thought he had a chance. "I'm only a newborn, I d like to stick with my vegetarian diet and I couldn't do that in the city. I'm also newly married, I want to be with Edward, and just enjoy....our honeymoon period. I hope you understand this." I thought maybe Id add in a bit extra for good will. " But Aro, I hope that your offer will remain open. I have forever and one day I will like to visit Italy, and come to see you. Maybe we could stay for awhile, I'm sure you have many stories you could share with Edward and I." I threw Edwards name in the mix, for a bit of a bonus to Aro. It was no secret he wanted Edward. I could see when Aro's lit up, he was happy with my answer

"Wonderful Bella!" Aro exclaimed. "I would very much like that, yes yes, I have many stories I could share with you. I thought as much, that you would want to enjoy your time with Edward. But you are right, we do have forever don't we!" and he smiled, while Jane still stood next to him, expressionless. "One day you will visit me, and of course we will have space for you my dear, and for Edward. Maybe then, you could explain to me in more detail about your power?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, why not? When I visit him in a few hundred years I might be happy to tell him about it. "Absolutely." I said.

He nodded and clapped his hands. "Excellent, excellent. This visit has turned out to be well worth the trip. I am very pleased with the outcome."

I knew one day I would have to visit, and it seemed a small price to pay to have Aro leave here a happy vampire.

EPOV

We walked in the house, the entire family in the living room, where Aro stood with Jane by his side. He turned and looked at Bella, he barely acknowledged my presence next to her.

"Bella," he said to Bella and opened his arms to her. He barely knew Bella, but thought fondly of her. Bella seemed hesitant, so I gave her a very gentle push on her back to let her know it was ok. She went forward and embraced him.

"Its nice to see you again Aro. Are you checking on me?" I was shocked she asked him outright, as was Aro. But he delighted in Bella's straight forwardness.

Aro chuckled and released Bella from his embrace. "Ahh Bella, straight to the point are you. Yes you are the correct that is why I am here. I am sorry I couldn't make you wedding, but I am here now to give you your gift in person," he pulled out a small black box and passed it to her, she made no attempt to open it while Aro continued to talk. "I have to say I am pleasantly surprised to see that you have been changed already, this is good news! Being a vampire definitely suits you. You look absolutely beautiful Bella. You being changed now will save me another trip. I can see you are still able to block my power." and he smiled warmly at her. He was intrigued with her power.

"Oh thank you Aro for the gift. Yes as you can see I'm a vampire now. Only a few days old at the moment, but I seem to be doing well.' she smiled weakly at Aro, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Your power?" he asked " can you control it?"

"Yes." she replied.

Aro had may questions in his head. If he could have he would of told everyone in the house to leave, including Jane so he could discuss in more detail about Bella's shield. He wasn't so much interested in what Bella could do with her shield for herself, but more what she could do with his shield for him, for the Volturi.

He nodded his head, and turned to me.

He began to reach his hand out to me, when I heard Bella's thought.

_Tell me if you want me to drop it._

I knew she was talking about her shield. I quickly looked at her letting her know I had heard her.

Aro stood for only a few seconds, touching me. He obviously wouldn't be seeing anything with the shield around me. He then stood back and clapped his hands, turning back to Bella " Wonderful Bella, you are shielding Edward aren't you? Can you protect anyone in this room?"

"Yes" she spoke, and I could only imagine that she had thrown the shield out to protect everyone in our family'in that moment.

"How strong is your shield Bella?" Aro asked, he many questions he wanted to ask her. Bella's power had become his new favourite thing, much to my distaste.

"Strong enough to protect me from the change." I said. His eyes widened, he wanted to know what that meant. His curiosity raging in his mind.

"I must say," Aro started, " I am more then curious about your power," and with that he gave a subtle hand signal to Jane. I felt nothing, and didn't know if Jane was trying to attack me or not. I honestly couldn't tell.

"Very impressive dear Bella!!" Aro beamed, after a short while.

"I wasn't trying to impress anyone, just trying to protect my family." She was annoyed. I didn't need to read her mind to know that.

"Now, now Bella, I didn't not come here to fight with you," he soothed, " please drop your shield, I have no intention of hurting your family. I am only curious to see your change through Edwards mind."

"Its ok Bella." I said to her.

Aro touched me again, and I saw my own memories in Aros mind. Our wedding, our time at Isle Esme, and I was disgusted with myself that I couldn't not let Aro see that. He saw our return to Forks, our trip to the meadow, the shameful moment where I lost self control and bit Bella, Jacob, Bella in her lifeless state, her awakening, our awkwardness over the last few days, and then our happiness. My memories and thoughts, all laid out, bare and honest for Aro to look at. I knew when he saw the werewolf in my thoughts, he was surprised, not so much surprised that werewolves existed, but more that we, and more importantly Bella was close friends with them.

"My goodness," Aro started, " you two have been through a lot since your wedding day" he exclaimed. Bella and I nodded in agreement, and I took Bella's hand in mine.

Aro's mind lingered on the werewolves, he had decided not to say anything. Deciding that that it must be Bella's power that let her control the wolves. If he was intrigued before, he was borderline obsessed now. Wanting to know everything about becoming friends with a werewolf, it just seemed to far fetched in his mind. He had thought something like that was impossible, so he had decided it had to be her power.

"This is a very talented family," he said eyeing the entire family. "But you dear Bella, intrigue me."

I griped her hand tightly, as what he thought what he wanted to ask her before he said it. There was no way Bella was leaving with him, not without a fight.

"How would you feel about coming to Italy, and staying with us for awhile. Your welcome to bring Edward of course." he asked.

Bella was nothing but polite and courteous to Aro, and I was more then proud of how Bella answered him. "Aro, thank you so much for your offer. But I regretfully have to decline. I'm only a newborn, I d like to stick with my vegetarian diet and I couldn't do that in the city. I'm also newly married, I want to be with Edward, and just enjoy....our honeymoon period. I hope you understand this. But Aro, I hope that your offer will remain open. I have forever and one day I will like to visit Italy, and come to see you. Maybe we could stay for awhile, I'm sure you have many stories you could share with Edward and I."

Aro had first been disappointed at first when Bella declined his invite, but in the end he was more then pleased with her answer. He knew Bella well enough to know, that if she said she would visit, that she would. He had agreed with her in his thoughts, they did have forever and we were just starting out our married life, our forever. He could wait his turn to ask his questions, he was a patient man. Aro also thought this would work better for him. If Bella arrived in Italy, by her own free will, it would mean she may be more willing to share more details about her power with him.

"Wonderful Bella!" Aro exclaimed. "I would very much like that, yes yes, I have many stories I could share with you. I thought as much, that you would want to enjoy your time with Edward. But you are right, we do have forever don't we!" and he smiled, while Jane still stood next to him, expressionless. Her thoughts, always focused on Aro. "One day you will visit me, and of course we will have space for you my dear, and for Edward. Maybe then, you could explain to me in more detail about your power?" he asked.

"Absolutely." Bella said.

He nodded and clapped his hands. "Excellent, excellent. This visit has turned out to be well worth the trip. I am very pleased with the outcome."

Aro was over the moon. I felt glad that he would be leaving here pleased with his time here. He had no intention of ever coming back, he would wait for Bella to come to him. I was glad for the fatherly feeling held for Bella, but was mystified when in his thoughts he had decided that if any harm should come to Bella, ever, that that person would be punishable by death at the hands of the Volturi. I had to admit, that I didn't see any point in sending out that warning. I was her husband and I had every intention of protecting her....from what I didn't know.

The family had started to relax and talk again, Aro had a commanding presence and it was hard to relax with him in the room, but as Aro gushed about Bella and how he was pleased with this visit we all visibly relaxed, knowing that there would be no arguments, no fighting today. Jane remained expressionless, continuing to remain next to Aro. I wondered if she ever smiled, if she would ever love. I had thought myself as monster, unworthy of love. But here I was, in love and married. I was curious if Jane would ever find that, or if she even wanted that for herself. Maybe that's why she was always so grumpy? Who knew?

We said our goodbyes to Aro, and Bella was the only one that received a hug from him, and we watched them disappear into the forest. We stood for a few minutes, listening, making sure they really were leaving.

"Well that went well," Carlisle said, as we turned and went inside.

"It did." I agreed. "Im glad hes not young," I admitted, "or his interest in my wife would bother me greatly."

"Awww gross." Bella said, hitting me on the arm. " Hes like old enough to be my grand father."

"More like your great great great great great great grand father," Emmett said laughing.

We were all inside, when we all heard it. An agonizing howl. A howl signalling pain. I turned to Bella, her eyes wide. "Jacob" she breathed.

There was another howl, more high pitched.

"Oh my god, Leah." her voice barely whispered, and then Bella was gone running heading towards the sound of the howls. Not waiting or asking for my or anyone else's help.

I took off after Bella, followed closely by the rest of the family.

Another howl ripped through the air.

Bella found another gear of speed, and she disappeared.

"Bella!" I yelled, but she was gone. I gave it my all to try catch up with her. I already knew what was happening. Jacob and Leah had run into Jane. Aro would not be fighting.

Were Bella and I ever going to get to enjoy our happily every after?? Was wanting to be happy for 24 hours straight to much to ask?


	28. Fighting with Jane

I was gone, running from the house, not caring who was following me, if anyone. I had to help Jacob and Leah, and as much as I didn't want to admit it. I had to protect Aro from them, although the chances of Jacob and Leah getting past Jane's debilitating power were slim. I didn't really want to protect Aro, but I really didn't have a choice. If he was killed here, practically in my back yard the entire Volturi would come here, it would be a all out war against the werewolves, and I didn't want that. I was also sure if that was to happen Caius would find someway to blame my family for Aro's killing.

I heard another howl, I saw red and I found another gear, so to speak. I sped through the forest towards the sound. I didn't know what I was going to do when I got there. I would have to shield Jacob and Leah from Jane and then protect Aro from them, all the while trying to control Jane. I didn't know how I was going to do this but I was going to have to think of something fast.

I saw them as I heard Jacob howl again in agony, Aro standing far back from the altercation while Jane chuckled evily at the pain she caused my friend. Aro showed little emotion, maybe a little frightened at the sight of bear sized werewolve with the sole purpose of killing his kind.

I ran full speed, throwing my shield out around them, coming to a stand still in front of Jacob and Leah.

"What are you doing?" Jane screeched at me. I looked at Aro afraid of his reaction. He smiled at me and waved his hand, as if to say 'carry on'.

Jacob and Leah were recovering, and starting to stand again. I swung around to look at them, resting my hand on Jacobs furry head. He looked up at me.

"Please don't" I mouthed to him.

He eyed Aro then Jane, and growled.

I heard Jane coming for me, I turned swiftly as my hand swung out and smacked her across her face, sending her flying into a tree. The rest of my family arrived, I threw my shield out around them.

_Stay back Edward, all of you stay back. Make them stay back._

I could tell Edward was torn between listening to me, and trying to help. But he couldn't help, not against Jane. Instead my family went to Aro, I was sure Edward would plead with Aro to stop Jane, but Aro wouldn't listen, he would be getting what he wanted, a show of my power.

I turned back to Jacob. He was growling at Jane.

"Jacob please" I mouthed, "please don't. Trust me to handle this." My eyes pleading with him to please listen to me.

He looked at me with his black eyes, I coud hear Jane ranting and raving as she come towards me. He growled in protest, but nodded. He sat next to where I was standing, and Leah sat along the other side of me. I stepped forward towards Jane.

"I'm going to kill those werewolves, they are our enemies!" she yelled, her voice dripping with pure evil.

"Through my dead body." I said back, and lowered myself into a defensive crouch.

'That can be arranged," she snickered. She come for me, but in the last minute tried to go around me to get to Jacob. I stepped sideways and knocked her back, sending her back into another tree.

I could hear the low growl from Jacobs chest, but he wasnt moving. He had listened. Im quite sure he wasn't happy but I was thankful he listened and stayed put.

"Go Bella!" I heard Emmett yell.

I could protect only Jacob and Leah's mind, a physical brute force attack from Jane I could not protect them from. That was if Jane managed to get around me, and I had no intention of letting that happen.

"Stay" I mouthed over my shoulder toJacob. I felt like I was talking to a dog, and in all honestly I was.

Jane didn't seem to want to give up. She would continually come at me, and I would continually hit her back. I looked at my family. Edward trying to control his panic. The rest of the family watched on, almost expressionless, apart from Emmett who was grinning from ear to ear. Giving me the thumbs up every time he caught my eye.

But Jane was starting to annoy me, I felt my anger growing, why wouldn't she just give up and go away. Why was she even going up against me, a newborn that could block her power. She was wasting her time here.

She came at me again, slowly this time. "You know Bella, we could keep this up forever. I'm not to give up until I rip the head off that russet coloured wolf." Jacob howled in anger, and I deep growl started in my chest and escaped my mouth. My anger coming to the surface, and I snapped. Something snapped, I heard the snap. I was confused at first, but then I felt it. My shield had separated from itself. I still had the shield wrapped around me, my family and the wolves, and then there was another shield, that I could see. A ball sitting on the ground in front of me. I doubted anyone could see it, I knew Jane hadn't as she walked straight through it towards me. I was so distracted by the ball on the ground that Jane almost got a punch to my face. I dodged it quickly and whacked her in the stomach, once again sending her flying backwards through the forest. I reached my hand out towards the ball and it came to my hand, swirling effortlessly in my palm. I didn't even know how I had managed to pop this so called ball shield out of me, let alone how to put it back when I finished with it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Emmett called, "Sock that bitch in the face Bells! Give her hell."

I smiled back at him, "Oh I will," I said quietly. Aro watched on happily, even clapping.

Edward eyes were wide with wonder, he obviously could see my thoughts. No doubt amazed at my shield and what it was capable of.

I waited for Jane to return, but she didn't. It wasn't until I saw movement from behind where my family stood with Aro , I saw her going full tit towards Edward. She sent him flying.

"Edward!!" I yelled. She had no right to attack him. The rest of the family growled in defense. I threw my ball shield out, and it hit her, grew and engulfed her in it.

It took all my concentration to control the shield to keep it surrounding her. I knew she couldn't hurt me being in the shield, as this was a new shield, separated from the one I was under. I lifted the shield off the ground with Jane in it. It almost physically hurt me to do this. I saw Edward back away, he looked truly frightened of what he was observing before him. He turned and scrambled back to where the rest of the family waited.

"Let me down." Jane screeched, " what are you doing to me?"

I ignored her, and brought the shield around her, so it squeezed tightly around her, literally.

She screamed in agony, and I didnt care.

"Let me go," she begged.

I couldn't think of a good reason why I should, she tried to kill my best friend, and then attacks my husband.

"No." I yelled. Bringing it in tighter around her. Delighting in the pain I was causing her. I could see her body contorting in the tightness of the shield.

"I'm sorry." she begged, but I wouldn't be swayed. I was enjoying this far to much.

"Woohoo Bella." I head Emmett yell.

I heard Jacob behind me,growling, but in a content way. He also was enjoying the show.

It was Edwards voice which pulled me from my sick pleasure.

"Bella don't kill her." his voice soft and pleading.

"Why not?" I asked, I almost snapped at him for interrupting my game.

"Because your a good person Bella, I'm alive, Jacob is OK. Show her some mercy.........this time." he said, and turned to look at Jane, letting her know that next time he wouldn't interrupt me.

I looked at Edward and I knew he was right, I let the shield drop and Jane fell to the ground. The shield return to my palm and then appeared to dissolve into me.

I turned to Jacob. " Go" I said and pointed away. Edward nodded to some thought he heard from Jacob, and the wolves left running.

Aro eyes were wide with excitement as he made his way towards me.

"Absolutely marvellous" Aro gushed.

I wanted to give him a crack to the head. Marvellous? To let his little evil side kick want to hurt my friends. Marvellous my ass. But I just wanted Aro to leave as quickly as possible with Jane, so decided it would be better to play nice.

"Thanks?" I shrugged, what did he want me to say? I took a deep breath to calm myself, and the red that was in my vision from my anger faded.

He took my hands, "you my dear are truly unique, you truly are one of a kind."

"I guess so," I said.

He looked at me filled with awe. It started to make me feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry for hurting Jane, Aro, but you should of called her off." I said.

"No, no," he said, "and miss watching you use your power to its full extent? I believe you have room for great development. If Jane died, it would have been because of her own choices. You made it clear you would fight her if she tried to harm those wolves. I did not ask her to fight and I certainly could not have stopped her from fighting. She had to be stopped of her own accord, and you my dear are the only person who has stopped her."

Jane shot Aro an angry look, Im sure it hurt her pride to know she had been beaten. I guess she didnt really know how to fight fair being able to hurt people through their minds. I almost felt sorry for her in a way, she could of died today and Aro didn't seem like it would bother him in the slightest, it simply be what it was. Her own fault.

"Well, I would of preferred not have fought. I really aren't a violent person." I smiled weakly, I wasn't, but even I couldn't deny the fact I enjoyed seeing Jane in pain.

"Don't be so coy dear Bella," Aro started. "Are any of us truly violent? We all have our moments when we are. But we do not going around being violent all day, everyday. You my dear, are very protective of those you love and hold dear to you. I can not blame you for acting the way you did."

I genuinlly smiled at Aro. "Your right about that. I do love them," and I reached for Edwards hand, "especially this one." and Edward smiled in return. "And I would protect them, no matter the cost."

Aro nodded, sensing the truth in my words.

EPOV

I was almost having an anxiety attack the whole time I watched Bella fight with Jane, when she told me to stay back, I wanted to refuse, to run over and help her. But I knew I was no match for Jane and if I was running around it may have been harder for Bella to keep me under her shield, plus she was also concentrating on protecting Leah and Jacob, and watching what Jane was doing at the same time. She didn't need me down there trying to protect her, she was more then capable of protecting herself.

I had pleaded with Aro to stop Jane, but he put his hand up, effectively telling me to be quiet. There was nothing I could do but sit and watch my wife fight.

Aro was amazed with Bella, her strength, her gracefulness, her need to protect those who she believed needing protecting. He firmly believed in his thoughts that Bella could control the werewolves the way they recovered from their attack from Jane, only to sit like obedient dogs watching Bella's every move. He felt honoured, he knew that by telling the werewolves to stay that she was protecting him. It wasn't a big issue, she didn't have to fight the wolves for it, it just happened. The more time passed, the higher Aro held Bella in regard. I was no more then a small blip in his existence, I had totally been overshadowed by my wife. He saw what I saw as she held Jane in the air. He saw Bella's true potential. She had a power possibly far greater then anything he had ever seen, and even though she was a newborn, with practice, Bella would become someone you didnt dare fight with unless you wanted to lose. She could use her shield, to protect her self and others,or hurt them. She showed mercy, and it didn't go unnoticed that if Bella had had her way, she would of possibly killed Jane, meaning she was capable of taking the life of another vampire if she saw fit to. It had frightened me, to see her lift Jane into the air. It had frightened me to see Bella enjoy hurting Jane, this wasn't the Bella I was use to. But it was all part of the vampire package, as I had already killed Victoria to protect Bella, so she would kill to protect me.

When Bella told Jacob to go, he said in his mind he would meet us back at the cottage. I nodded letting him know we would see him there.

Aro talked to Bella, basically ignoring the rest of us. In her presence, we simply did not exist to him.

He gave Bella a final embrace before leaving for the second time. His thoughts as he left were of Bella, hoping her visit to him would be sooner rather then later. I sighed, I knew Volturi time wasn't like a human time, so that was a good thing.

"Well that was awesome Bells!" Emmett exclaimed, as Aro disappeared from sight. "Can you do that lift thing now, could you do it again?

"I think so," Bella replied, "it kind of hurts me tho. Let me get some practice ok. I know you want me to lift you Emmett, don't deny it."

"Hell yeah I want to have a turn at flying." he grinned back.

She was still holding my hand. "You ok?"she asked me.

I nodded, "yes I'm just listening out for Aro, he has definitely left." I smiled at her, "you did good today."

"Thanks, all in a days work." and she laughed, we all laughed with her.

"Your shield is amazing," Carlisle started. "It was obviously really strong when your a human, now you will be able to find the real strength of it with practice and what you are capable of."

Bella shrugged, unsure what to make of it. It was like she could still barely believe itself.

I stroked down her back, "If I can read minds my love, and Alice can see the future, Jasper control emotions, then you being able to have shields and lift someone is no big deal."

She leaned into my chest "I know I know," she sighed, "Its just unreal, these things aren't suppose to happen you know."

"In our world it does." I said back to her, holding her close to me.

"Well you still kicked that little freaks ass!" Emmett boomed, and we all started to laugh.

"We must be getting back my love, Jacob is waiting for us."

She looked up at me, obviously remembering our conversation from last night about my insecurities.

"It'll be fine," I said and kissed her on the forehead.


	29. Jacob and Leah

Leah and I took off running, I could tell Leah was unhappy with the turn of events that happened earlier, but I would deal with her after. We quickly ran back to La Push where we got more clothes,then headed back towards Bella cottage, where I told Edward we would meet them. Our intention of being in the forest in the first place was to visit Bella and Edward. I had hoped that everything had worked out well with them the night before and wanted to check that Bella had returned with him. Unfortunately for us, we ran into those other vampires. Leah and I had phased instantly, ripping all our clothing in the process. I wasn't to bothered to meet with Edward and his family naked, I really didn't care but Leah was dead against it, which I could understand, and I suppose I didn't want the vampire men looking at Leah naked either.

She hadn't said a lot during our run back to the Cullen's, but I guess I wasnt really talking either.

When we arrived at the cottage that belonged to Bella and Edward, we phased back into human form. I always averted my eyes from Leah to give her time to change.

"Doesn't look like they are back." I said, while still facing the other way. I pulled my pants from the string that was tied to my ankle, and started to pull them onto one leg, when Leah pushed me.

"What the hell was that all about it?" raising her voice at me. I tripped, and fell on to my bare ass from her push, with one leg in my pants, one still out.

"Gezz Leah, was that necessary?" I shot back at her, while trying to put my other leg into my pants. I stood up and she stood in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yes that was necessary," she said. "You make me so angry sometimes Jacob Black!"

I was confused.

"What?.....Why?"

"Why?!" she started, her voice going a little louder. "We looked like a couple of pathetic lap dogs back there! It was embarrassing. Sitting there like obedient god dam pups. We should of ripped those vampire to shreds!"

"Right," I said sarcastically, "and when we were going to do that? Before or after that evil blond one almost killed us without even touching us?"

She looked at the ground, scrunching her face, she knew I was right. I'd never felt pain like that before, like my insides were trying to get outside my body, like everything wanted to snap in a way that it never should. There was only one word to describe it. Agony.

"We should of still had a go at them, especially that chump of a vampire that stood there watching the whole show. We should of killed him while Bella had the blond one distracted, then helped Bella deal with that blond one! He was just sitting there, for our taking!" She was clearly angry over what happened.

"Leah," I sighed, "Bella handled it, and I think she saved our lives in the process." I didn't know what else to say to her. Bella had saved our lives. We would of never got an attack in on either of the vampires if Bella hadn't showed up, and we probably wouldn't be standing here either.

"I know she handled it," she spat, then she started to pace. "Do you have any idea how that looked though? We got our ass handed to us by a vampire, only to have another vampire save our ass! Shit, Jake we looked useless. Then because of you and your obvious devotion to dear Bella, you made us sit there and just watch. I felt like phasing back to human form and asking for some god dam popcorn to go with the show."

When I looked at it from her point of view, I had to admit she was right. But Bella probably still saved us either way. I walked towards Leah, and stopped her from pacing and turned her to look at me. She was still furious with me, and I know she still thought I was a pathetic fool for, what it seemed, always taking the side of Bella and her family.

"Leah." I spoke quietly, hoping she would understand what I had to say. "I don't know who those vampires were, but I think the Cullen's did. To start with, they weren't even on our territory it was just our bad luck that we were heading this way and we stumbled across them. In all honesty, it wasn't even our job to destroy them, they weren't hunting any humans, and they weren't making their way towards any either. I think they were leaving. "

"Well they obviously attack humans, I saw their red eyes, and I know you did to Jake." she said angrily, but I noticed her tone had lost it's nasty edge.

"I know, I saw that to, but in the end they weren't in our territory Leah. You think I didn't want to rip that vampires head off? Of course I did! But Bella asked me to trust her, and I did. She obviously knew who they were, and she handled it so everyone stayed alive. Well if Edward hadn''t of stepped in maybe that blond one may have died, but I'm guessing everyone left happy. Hey, I'm happy I left alive. But I have to admit I would of loved to have seen her crush that blond one to bits with whatever power she was using on her."

Leah perked up a bit, "yeah that was pretty awsome wasn't it. To be able to do that would be the greatest ever. Its not fair vampires get that kind of power, and we don't. You think with all the Cullen's power together, no one could ever beat them. Bella's shield, Edward reading minds, Alice seeing the future, Emmett's strength, Jasper controlling how you feel. I'd never want to fight the Cullen's, you wouldn't stand a chance."

I realised then, that she was right. I was glad for the friendship with the Cullen's, that had come from being friends with Bella. Our wolf pack was strong, but if the Cullen's had somehow broke the treaty starting a war, our wolf pack would of been slaughtered. There was no way we could stand up to that kind of power. Physical strength was one thing, but supernatural powers were something else. A war would never start though, if there ever was one it would come from somewhere else. Should that happen, then I believed that the Cullen's would stand along side the Quilette wolf pack and fight as one. We would be unstoppable together. Without knowing it, the people in Forks now lived in the safest town on the planet.

"Jacob?" Leah said, giving me a nudge in the chest.

"Huh......oh sorry Leah, I was just thinking."

"Of Bella squishing that blond one in mid air?? I was thinking that too."

I laughed, I hadnt realised Bella had that kind of power, I wondered if she knew herself before she even came to save us.

I was busy laughing with Leah when Bella and Edward emerged from the forest.

"Jacob, Leah!" she embraced us both, "thank god your both ok."

Leah looked a little uncomfortable from being hugged by a vampire, but she did her best not to show it.

"Yeah we are fine." Leah said.

Bella looked at Leah, "Thank you Leah."

What for? I thought, as Leah spoke those words to her.

"For talking to me when I was out to the world, I heard you. Thank you, you made me see the bright side of things," and she gave Leah a genuine smile.

"Oh uh thanks." Leah said slightly blushing.

"Oh and Leah," Bella continued. "Your not 2nd best, your the first and best choice. It couldn't be any other way."

I looked at Edward, who was looking at me. He shrugged, obviously having no clue to what they were talking about either.

I noticed Leah blush even more. "Oh yeah, um, yeah, thanks." I didn't even know Leah was capable of blushing. I kind of liked it.

"Come down to the main house guys, " Bella said to Leah and I, "There will be something for you to eat there, and then Ill answer your questions, that I know you have."

I could tell Leah wasn't overly keen on that idea, "It'll be fine." I said, and took her hand in mine and headed off with her towards the Cullen's large house.

I heard Edward ask Bella, "What was that all about?"

Bella just giggled, "Ill tell you later." I turned and looked down at Leah, who's face was still a fiery red shade.

"Why is your face the colour of a fire truck?" I asked Leah.

"You just need to shut up Jacob Black." she retorted, clearly even more embarrassed that I had noticed her blush.

"Nah I dont think I will," I laughed, and picked her up and swung her over my shoulder and run off towards the house, with Leah pounding her fists on my back yelling at me to put her down. I could tell though, she was trying not to laugh.

BPOV

We entered the house, and I told Jacob to help himself to the fridge, and that he did. He had no qualms about being here anymore, he was in the fridge and cupboards pulling out stuff for him and Leah to eat. Leah sat quietly watching him, slightly shocked at how Jacob just talked, and acted like he was surrounded by humans and this was his kitchen. In a way I guess it was, we as vampires had no use for it. And all the food that was in the fridge had been for him when he stayed throughout my change.

"So" Jacob started, "who were thos vampires?" he asked, to anyone who wanted to answer him.

"That was Aro and Jane." Edward answered. "Aro is a leader of the Volturi, they are like the enforcers of vampire laws. Vampire royalty you could say."

Jacob choked. "So was Bella like kicking the vampire queens butt?"

"No, Jane is Aro's protector, shes not a queen or anything." Edward replied. "Although she probably would like to be."

"What were they doing here in Forks?" Jacob asked.

"Checking on me," I answered. "They come to see if I had been changed, and well as you can see, I am."

Jacob nodded, while taking a large bite from his sandwich.

"Thank you for listening to me Jacob, and letting me handle it." I couldn't express how much it really meant to me, that he listened. "All hell would of broke loose if you didn't. I was trying to protect you from Jane, but had to make it look like I was protecting Aro from you also." I noticed Leah watching me while she ate, "Thank you to Leah for listening to me to. If you had went for Aro things could of got quite messy. I'm just glad it worked out well in the end." She nodded in return. I knew she was less understanding about the whole werewolf, vampire, lets be friend's deal, but she was making a effort. If not for herself, she was doing it for Jacob.

"Will they return? Jacob asked.

"No." Edward answered. "He is content not to visit again, but Bella has promised to visit him one day."

"When? Where does he live?" Jacob asked.

"He doesn't stay anywhere near Forks Jake, so don't worry. Ill go visit him one day, say....i dunno....in about 100 years?"

Everyone laughed, even Leah.

I knew Jacobs concern was the people of La Push, as long as he doesn't have a stray vampire wondering around Forks everything was ok in Jacobs book. Jacob didn't need to say anything out loud, I already knew that he had accepted the fact that I didn't need looking after anymore, that I was more then capable of looking after myself in this state. He would let me make decisions, and he wouldn't question me about them. I noticed him and Leah glance at each other a few times, each of them just missing catching the other person looking at them. I smiled to myself. There was no doubt in my mind they would end up together, and I wondered how long it would take before Jacob even realised that their friendship was heading that way. No doubt Leah would give him the shock he needed to make him realise. I almost laughed out loud at the thought of Leah catching Jacob off guard one day by kissing him.

I obviously must of chuckled a little bit, because I saw Edward turn and look at me.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head, smiling from ear to ear.

"Nothing, ill tell you later ok."

Edward looked slightly confused but agreed. "Ok."

Edward and I made our way into the living room, where the rest of the family were. We talked quietly amongst ourselves while Jacob and Leah ate. The day had turned out be more exciting then originally planned. I heard Jacob put his and Leahs plate on the bench, then rub his hands together. Probably trying to flick the crumbs off his hands. He walked into the living room, making his way to the couch and sat himself down, Leah quielty followed him and sat down next to him. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, and then spoke.

"So tell me more about your power Bells." he asked. "Can you make me fly?"

"Hey, I'm flying first!" Emmett said.

I let out a slow breath, sighing. "Time to talk about Bella's power time is it?" I did little quote marks with my fingers when I said Bella's power.

The whole family, including Jacob answered in unison. "YES!"


	30. Emmett wants to fly

Everyone was practically yelling their questions at me, including Edward and Carlisle. No one was willing to wait their turn to ask a question, they all wanted to be first.

How'd you make Jane fly? Can you fly? Is it even flying? Can you do it again? Can you make more then one person fly? How did you do that? How did you shield all of us when we weren't all standing together?............the questions were endless.

I was feeling overwhelmed. I went to speak but nothing came out.

It was Esme, who came and stood in front of me with her arms crossed looking at her family. Using her authority as the mothr, to get everyone to be quiet. It worked, and she didn't even have to say anything. Even Edward was embarrassed by being scolded silently by his mother. Carlisle even put his head down, and apologized to me.

"Thank you Esme," I said. She gave me a reassuring smile over her shoulder, and then turned to her family. "One at a time you lot." She said sternly to her family, which now seemed to include Jacob and Leah.

They all sat silently before me, now it seemed no one wanted to speak.

"Carlisle?" I asked. I knew his mind would have a million questions.

His head shot up and he smiled, "Bella, did you have any idea that you were capable of that kind of power before your altercation with Jane?"

"No." I replied. I had no idea. "That's the first time anything like that has happened."

"I have to be honest here Bella, I've never seen anything like that in my entire existence. Do you know the extent of your power?" he asked, I could see the excitement in his eyes.

"No, as of this morning I thought all I could do was protect myself and others from mind attacks."

"Could you talk your way through what happened out there?" Carlisle asked. "Ill ask questions when necessary for clarification."

I nodded, "Yeah sure….well….where to start. Well first I threw my shield out around Jacob and Leah, and when the rest of you arrived I threw my shield out around you."

"Is there a limit of distance for your shield? Is it any particular shape?" he asked.

I thought about that for a second, before answering. "Im not sure if there is a distant. I don't think so. Well not at this point. If I think that you are going to be under my shield, then you are. Distance isn't a factor. If I can think it, then it will happen. It takes no particular shape, it just shields the people I want to shield and leaves out the ones I don't want to shield. I hope that makes sense." I actually found it incredibly difficult to explain, my shield went wherever I wanted it go. I had never considered its limits.

He nodded, I could tell by his eyes he was going through every little aspect in his head. Thinking, and then re-thinking through his theories as he went.

"Then what happened?" he asked.

"Well Jane was starting to annoy me of course. When she made that comment about ripping Jacobs head off I was furious, and something snapped in me."

"Snapped?" Edward asked, interrupting, but Carlisle didn't appear bothered. He was probably going to ask the same thing anyway.

"Yes, snapped. I heard it snap. Somewhere within me I heard a snap. Almost like a loud clap. I was confused at first, but then I could feel it. I had the shield that protected my mind, and then I felt a different kind of shield."

"How did you know it was another shield?" Carlisle asked.

"Because I could see it." I said, and the whole room gasped.

"You could see it?" Carlisle asked, clearly shocked.

"Yes it was lying on the ground in front of me, I didn't know where it came from, but I knew it was from me. It was like a ball, or an orb I suppose would be a better name for it, or whatever you want to call it. It was clear and iridescent, like a bubble I guess. Im pretty sure it was inactive when it was lying on the ground because Jane walked right through it and she never noticed it."

"Is that why you stuck your hand out?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, when I stuck my hand out towards it came to me, and swirled in my palm like a spinning ball. I still don't think I knew what it was for at that point. When I saw Jane attack Edward, I just threw my ball at her out of anger. But once it hit her, it grew and captured her inside of it."

"How did you make it grow, and trap Jane?" Carlisle asked.

"I…..I don't know. It just happened." I shrugged my shoulders, I really didn't know.

"Tell me what happened after that." Carlisle encouraged, wanting as much information as he could get.

"I had to concentrate to keep that shield around her, and then I lifted her in to the air. It hurt to use this shield. Not in such a way that it was like a painful torture or anything, more like when you run faster then you really should and your muscles are burning from over using them."

Carlisle nodded, "how did you lift the shield with Jane?"

"I just thought it, I wanted to lift her and so it happened. But I had to concentrate on it. If I had been hit from behind or distracted somehow, I would of lost control of that shield, where the one that protects minds would have stayed in place."

"So when you were squeezing it around Jane, that was just from thinking about it?"

I nodded.

"When you finally dropped your shield, where did it go?" he asked.

"As soon as I dropped the shield, it returned to its ball size and came back to me, and then it dissolved into me. It's the only way I can think of to describe it."

"Amazing." Carlisle breathed.

"What?" Edward asked Carlisle.

"Give me a moment son," he said quietly.

"So you want to give it a try at making me fly?" Jacob asked. "No squeezing the crap out of me though."

"No way," Emmett interrupted, "I already told you Im going first."

"Hey maybe she could do us both at the same time." Jacob said.

"Yeah could you Bells, could you do that?" Emmett asked, barely containing his excitement.

"Um….I don't know." I stammered out. It wouldn't be long and the whole family would want to be flying around the place. I was starting to feel overwhelmed again.

"How about we just wait to see what Carlisle has to say about everything." Edward said, he came and wrapped his arms around me placing a kiss on my forehead, he was trying to comfort me, and it was working. I hugged him back, thankful for his embrace and glad that I could be in his arms again. I belonged here with him; there was no other love for me, no other touch I would want. I looked up into his eyes and reached on my tip toes to kiss him gently on the lips.

"I love you," he whispered quietly in my ear, "my amazing powerful wife."

I smiled "I love you too," and I snuck my hand around his behind, and pinched his bottom.

"Bella." He growled pulling me closer to him. I just giggled in response.

"Hey cut that shit out." Emmett yelled. "God dam, I don't want to go blind you know!" and everyone laughed.

I pulled away from Edward, looking down ad running my hands over my clothes like I was trying to straighten them out. I was glad in that moment I no longer blushed or I would have been as red as a tomatoe.

Carlisle had started pacing, so we talked amongst ourselves waiting for Carlisle to give us his theory. His theory was the only one I wanted to listen to, he would know what my power was. The mass of knowledge that he held in his mind was unbelievable, and as he paced he would be going through every piece of information he had available to him to describe my power. Carlisle really was a great man, and I was truly blessed to have him as my father in law. I was blessed to call these people in this house, my family.

After what seemed like a few hours, Carlisle finally spoke again, making the whole family go silent.

"I think you have two separate shields Bella."

"I thought so." I hoped he had more then that to tell me, I had already figured I had two shields when I fought Jane.

"Now it would seem," Carlisle began, and everyone turned to him to watch him as he spoke, "that the two shields are different. You have your main one, always on, always protecting your mind. Then you have this one. The orb you were saying. This shield I believe can be used to harm others, and protect yourself."

"Protect myself? How?" I asked.

"Well, if you can make it surround Jane, then I think it would safe to assume to you can make it surround yourself to protect yourself from physical attacks. If Jane could not break out of the shield, then you certainly can not break into it. If you put yourself in your second shield no one could hurt you. It would be similar to a member of the Volturi's guard's power. You see, if you tried to attack Aro while she was around you would simply find yourself going in another direction. I believe your shield works in a similar manner. You can either use it as a defensive shield, or use it as a weapon. The choice is purely up to you."

I thought about that, let it run through my mind for a bit. I was curious; I almost wanted to have a try at it right then and there. I turned my attention back to Carlisle when he continued talking.

"I also think, with practice you could possibly produce more the 1 orb."

"No I don't think so Carlisle; it hurt me to use that 1 orb. More then 1 would be more then painful." I didn't want to disagree with him but felt I had no choice.

"Its ok Bella, you see, with anything it just takes practice." Carlisle was clearly excited at this point. "At first it will hurt for you to use the shield, to learn your way around it, to try and control it. But with practice it will be come less painful. It's just like practicing running for a marathon. The more you do it, the easier it will become."

"Do you really think so?" I was skeptical.

"Yes I do Bella, I do think so. With practice you may be able to control many orb shields at a time. Should the time ever come, you may well be the one standing ahead of us, protecting us. You don't need to learn any fighting skills Bella. I hope you understand this, if you practice and gain control of your other shield you wont ever need to fight. You will never ever need to lay a hand on anyone to protect yourself. Your shield will do that for you."

I was surprised and terrified by his words. To be powerful, to be an equal in this family, to bring a skill into this family that could help this family should it be required was more then what I could have hoped for. But I was scared at the same time. Scared that somehow, someday I would have to use it to protect my family. I would protect them at any cost if I had to, but I just wanted what every girl wanted, to live happily ever after.

"Carlisle, Im kind of scared of what all that means." I almost mumbled the words.

Edward rushed over to me and held me, and I leaned into his chest inhaling his sweet scent, while still listening to Carlisle.

"It's alright Bella; you have nothing to be afraid of. You're strong and unbreakable, blessed with an amazing power. We will start practicing with your power over the coming weeks. It is better to learn the full extent of your powers sooner rather then later. Im sure you don't want it to sneak up on you again like that."

I laughed, "Your right Carlisle, Id rather be prepared. Do you think we could try now?"

"YES!" Emmett shouted enthusiastically. "I will meet you out the back!" he grinned, already out the door.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Edward asked, stroking my cheek.

"Yeah, Id like to get a feel for it. I won't be able to stop thinking about it otherwise."

He smiled, and took me by the hand. "Come on then," and he lead me out to the backyard where Emmett was already waiting. The rest of the family followed us out. It was late afternoon already. I knew I could stand out here and train for days on end, but I was going to take small steps at a time. I would train until dark, and then I had every intention of taking my husband to bed. I gave his bottom a hard smack before I turned and went to Carlisle to start practice.

I heard Edward's low growl, and I smiled as I walked away from him and didn't look back.

EPOV

My wife was beautiful, strong, powerful and a vixen. She could have me, whenever she wanted and she knew it. She smacked my backside, hard…and I loved it. I think I loved her even more now, or maybe it was just because I didn't have the need for self control anymore. I could let the feelings of passion I felt for me course through me not worrying about the consequences, and there were no consequences, not bad ones anyway.

Today I had learnt a lot about my darling wife. She had single handedly, without trying, possibly became the most powerful vampire I had ever met. If she ever learnt to control it she would be an unstoppable force, and I was glad for Bella's kind nature. She would never use her power to hurt anyone for the sake of it, but I made a mental note to never try and make Bella angry.

My family gathered outside, with Jacob and Leah in tow, to watch Bella practice with her shield. Emmett was grinning from ear to ear, making no secret of the fact that he wanted to fly.

Carlisle had told Emmett to back off for a minute. Bella had to try and make the orb emerge from her body again, before even trying to attempt making Emmett fly.

She attempted several times, with no luck. She didn't know how to bring the orb out. It was anger that fuelled the orb to appear the first time, and somehow she would need to recreate that feeling. After a few times she would then learn the feeling of her orb shield and be able to call upon it at will.

Bella was frustrated, but not angry, so further attempts didn't work either.

"How about I just piss you off?" Emmett suggested.

"How?" Bella asked. I wasn't so sure I liked this idea.

"Oh I don't know, say Edwards a whiney baby, Jacobs a douche bag, maybe have a bit of boxing match with you."

"What? No way!" I said interrupting them while I walked towards them. "Are you crazy? You're not boxing with Bella."

"Like I said, Edwards a whiney baby." Emmett said while rolling his eyes at me and returning his gaze back to Bella.

Bella laughed.

"Bella!" I said offended. "Im not a whiney baby."

"I know, I know." She said smiling, "that was just kind of funny."

"Well then that's not going to work is it?" Emmett sighed.

It was then that I had a great idea. "Well how about you fight me Emmett? Surely that would coax the reaction we are looking for out of her."

"Oh yeah, that would be great!" Emmett boomed.

_Im so gonna kick your ass_ he thought.

Bella bit down on her bottom lip. "Im not sure about that." She said quietly.

It was Carlisle who spoke next, "If you are uncomfortable with this idea, you don't have to do this, we can try again another day. If it becomes too much to watch Emmett and Edward fight just yell out stop and they will stop."

Bella let out a loud unnecessary breathe, "No I want to try today, ok, if I call stop, you stop."

"Great!" Emmett said cheerily and we moved a way from her, and faced each other.

_Ill take it easy on you,_ _lets just make it look good to piss Bella off_.

I nodded slightly.

_You yell to stop after awhile, and Ill keep going. That will work her up._

I slightly nodded again, and then we began.

BPOV

Watching Emmett and Edward fight made me cringe, I didn't want to get angry, I wanted to close my eyes and pretend it wasn't happening. I could hear the cracks of them hitting into each other, like two boulders smashing into each other, but instead it was my husband and brother in law.

_Oh this is not good._

Emmett and Edward were going at each other. Emmett was the biggest strongest vampire I knew, and I didn't know how Edward wasn't getting hurt.

I still wasn't angry, I was more worried.

Then I heard Edward say Stop, it was muffled and not entirely clear. "Did he say stop?" I asked anyone.

But no one answered.

He said it again, but Emmett continued to throw him around like a rag doll.

"I think Edward wants to stop," I called out to Emmett. He either choose to ignore me, or he was having too much fun beating the crap out of his brother to hear me.

"Stop!" Edward said, but Emmett carried on.

"Hey you big lug, Edward said stop!" I yelled, but he ignored me, and threw Edward into a boulder.

I didn't know if he was trying to make me angry on purpose, but it was working.

I felt the orb coming this time, It felt like it traveled from my chest, a warm soothing feeling, from my chest then down my arm, then it emerged on my palm, spinning. I would remember where it came from, and hopefully would now be able to pull it from my chest a little bit easier next time.

I looked up to see Emmett slam Edward into the ground.

"Dammit Emmett!" I yelled and threw the orb out towards him. It hit him and engulfed him.

Edward immediately got up and ran over to me. Gently putting his hand on my shoulder. "Remember love, its Emmett. He didn't hurt me." He obviously remembered my anger from earlier today, and my intent to hurt Jane. Edward was just subtlety reminding me who was in my new orb shield. But he didn't need to remind me; I had no intentions of hurting Emmett.

I closed my eyes, concentrating. I wanted to do this, I had to do this. I wanted to control this shield effortlessly.

I opened my eyes, watching Emmett. He grinned and gave me the thumbs up, letting me know he was ok. But my face remained expressionless, as I desperately tried to concentrate on the task ahead. I could feel Emmett in the shield, he was heavier. I could feel the difference between him and Jane. I lifted the shield off the ground, and Emmett woohooed.

"Your doing great." I heard Carlisle say, but I didn't answer him, pouring all my concentration into lifting Emmett. I could feel the connection now, from myself to the orb, and the connection seemed to begin deep in my chest. My dead heart perhaps? I didn't know, but I was still capable of producing this orb. When I lifted Emmett, I felt the burn in my arms, like I was physically lifting him myself in my human form. It wasn't excruciatingly painful, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either, but I could deal with that.

I could hear hushed whispers from the rest of the family, but I was so deep in concentration I couldn't make out anything they were saying.

Emmett started to sway and rock himself in the shield, and I could feel it. "This is awesome," he yelled. But his swaying was distracting; it almost made me feel dizzy.

"Stop swaying Emmett." I said sternly.

"No way hosay!" he called, I could hear his smile. He was just so cheeky.

I pulled the shield around him, tightly, but not so tight it would hurt him. It was just enough to stop him from swaying.

"Hey!" he yelled. "What are you doing? No fair!"

"Ill show you no fair," I muttered under my breathe. With all the energy I mustered I flipped the shield upside down with Emmett in it.

"Hey! Bella! What are you doing? Oh Im not so keen on being upside down. I wanted to fly you know!"

I grinned, but still remained focused on Emmett in the shield. I didn't want to drop him on his head, not that it would do any damage.

"Bella" Edward murmured.

"Im fine." I said quietly.

"Ok" he replied.

After a short while, I flipped Emmett the right way up again, and tried moving him sideways, then back again. After a few hours I could move him up, down, backwards, forwards, diagonally. I could flip him upside down, lay him horizontally. I could pretty much move the shield with him it in, anyway I pleased. I know Emmett wanted me to move him at high speed, but I wasn't up to that, he had to settle for slow jerky movements for now. I eventually sat him down on the ground and released the shield from him. It went back to its original shape, drifted back to me and dissolved effortlessly into my palm. I felt its warmth travel up my arm and disappear into my chest.

"That was a lot of hard work," I said to myself.

"You did great." Edward said, rubbing my back in a comforting way.

"I can't wait until you can fly me around for real though!" Emmett said enthusiastically.

Carlisle walked over to me, "that was great Bella, it really was. If you keep practicing you will learn to control it much better. Eventually it will all come naturally to you."

I nodded in agreement. "I hope so, and I hope it won't hurt so much when I get use to it."

"It wont when your use to it. You see, you just have to let your mind free Bella. You look at Emmett and think, he's a big guy, so he must be heavy. So in your mind you are already thinking he's going to be heavy to lift. You are no doubt tensing your body so much thinking you are physically having to lift him it hurts you. I saw your body tensing while I watched you, and Im 100% positive that is what is causing the pain. You have to forget Emmett's physical appearance, forgot how big he is. Forget all of that, and just think of your orb. All you are moving is your orb. The fact that it has anyone in it should be of little consequence"

I nodded again, trying to wrap my mind around everything that I had learnt today. "Thank Carlisle, I will think it over tonight and will try again tomorrow."

"Great!" he certainly couldn't hide his enthusiasm.

The sun was starting to set and I had not forgotten that I had planned not to train into the night. I looked at Edward who was looking down at me. I smiled back at him. My goodness he is gorgeous. But I felt the need to hunt, so taking him to bed will have to wait.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said with a chuckle.

"Well Im going inside for something to eat." Jacob said. "Then Ill think we will head off. Nice to see you two back together again. I never got the chance to say it before." He looked at both Edward and I.

"Thanks Jake." I said, I was glad for him putting his nose in business that was no concern of his, it had paid off and I would be forever grateful.

Edward cleared his throat, and came forward towards Jacob with his hand out, like he was going to give Jacob a handshake. "Yes, thank you Jacob." He looked at me, and then back at Jacob. "Thank you for everything."

Jacob took his hand and gave him a firm handshake, "not a problem." Then unexpectantly pulled Edward in for a quick embrace.

"Eww get a room you two." Rosalie called out to them.

"Hey shut your mouth blondie that was a manly hug!" Jacob yelled back.

Yeah he was definitely part of the family now.

We headed back into the house, where Alice presented me with the present from Aro I was yet to open, and my phone.

"Ill open that later, and turn my phone back on later to." I sighed. "I actually feel like I need to go hunt. I think that training and fight today as worn me out, if that's even possible."

I didn't even have to ask Edward. I already knew he would come with me. After taking my unopened gift and phone back to our cottage, Edward and I disappeared into the darkness of the forest to find something to hunt.


	31. Teasing Edward

My wife and I disappeared into the darkness of the forest to hunt. I wasn't very thirsty myself, but fed anyway. Bella went through 2 deer before feeling satisfied.

"Im such a pig." She said grinning, as she wiped her chin clean. Her eyes twinkled with the exhilaration of hunting.

I chuckled at her remark, "you my love are not a pig. You're far too beautiful to be a pig."

She lifted one eyebrow at me, smiling. "Well Im glad you think so." She looked down at the deer at her feet. "Seems such a waste of an animal." She sighed.

"Rather that, then human." I replied.

She returned her gaze to me, "I know," she said. "I think Im satisfied with my meal tonight. Do you want to head back?" she asked me.

"Sure." I replied. We dashed back through the forest towards home. On occasion running through clearings where the moon light would shine down us, making her pale skin seem to glow. Her hair blowing behind her as she ran. I think I fell in love with my wife even more today. I found her even more desirable after today. The fact that she was now a powerful vampire sent a thrill through me. She was powerful and she was mine. She could control me if she wanted to, and I kind of liked the idea of that. As we ran back towards our home I had fleeting thoughts of her using her strength against me, to slam me into the ground and take what she wanted from me. Or to use her new found confidence in her self to boss me around, and order me to do as she pleased, and I would do as she pleased. She would never have to tell me twice. My mind wandered the whole time we ran home, and I was genuinely surprised when we ran into our backyard. I hadn't been paying attention to any of my surroundings as I ran, my mind consumed with thoughts of Bella.

"Im going to have a shower," she called as she entered the cottage ahead of me. I felt disappointed when she didn't ask me to join her, but I decided my time would come.

I walked to the couch and sat down, turning the large TV on. Nothing much held my interest so I channeled surf while I waited for Bella. My eyes fell on the gift from Aro. Bella appeared to have no interest in what the gift from him was. But I had to admit, I was a little curious. I would have to get her to open it when she came back into the living area. Her phone was still off. I reached over and turned it on, then sat it back on the table. I didn't feel the need to snoop on her phone anymore. I was past that.

Then her phone went off, indicating that there was a message on the phone.

I resisted the urge to read it, but pushed the button on the phone to light up so I could see her texted. It was Charlie. We get over one obstacle and we are faced with another. I flipped the phone over so the back of it was facing up. I didn't want Bella to deal with that today, and I didn't want to turn her phone off either. I leaned back on the couch and ran my fingers through my hair again and started to channel surf again. Bella seemed to be taking an awful long time in the shower.

I dropped the remote when I felt myself being shifted.

"What the?" I heard a giggle, and looked to see Bella, still wet and only in a towel watching me intently from the doorway.

She had lifted me off the couch with her shield.

"Bella what are you doing?" I asked, as she lifted me a little higher off the couch. The movement was slow, but it made me wary. I wasn't use to being lifted against my own will and I had to admit, it freaked me out a little bit.

"Bringing you to me." She smiley coyly.

She slowly moved me to her. I reached out to touch her, but couldn't. It was like my hand hit a brick wall.

"Well, well, well." She said her voice oozing sexiness. "What do we have here? Edward can't touch me." And she grinned wickedly, she walked around behind me, and I couldn't turn and look at her. I was stuck in her shield, stuck where she wanted me to be.

The she smacked my backside.

I couldn't touch her, but it would seem she could touch me.

"Bella!." I growled, "You let me out of here."

"No." she smiled. "I don't think I will." And with that she dropped her towel.

"Bella!" I growled again. How I wanted to reach out and touch her. To rub her breasts in my palm and suckle her pink nipples, breathe in her perfect scent, to let my hands explore her entire body.

She walked towards me, while pushing me, in the shield until I was stuck up against a wall. Unable to move backwards, unable to move forward. I felt like every part of me was tied to the wall.

She leaned into my neck and breathed in my scent. "You smell beautiful Edward." She said, but I couldn't even turn my head to look down at her. She flicked her tongue up my neck

"Bella." I growled again, my voice husky and full of need. But she ignored my pleas to be let go, and continued to toy with me. Teasing me. While I could do nothing but watch her.

She'd ripped my clothes from me, throwing them on the floor. So I stood before her, stuck in her shield, naked and feeling more then slightly vulnerable.

She ran her finger down my chest, stopping just short of where I really wanted her to touch and ran her finger back up my chest. Her touch was gentle and soft, and it left me wanting more. Then she run her finger down her chest, slowly. I couldn't pull my eyes away. She run her finger under her breast, then up and around her breast before placing her palm over her breast and gently rubbing it.

"Oh god Bella, what are you doing?" I asked my voice full of need and love.

"Im doing this." She smiled wickedly and then pinched her nipple.

I almost lost it, as I growled almost violently at her. Her eyes flew to my face, she obviously saw the love and lust I felt for her because she simply smiled and then pinched her other nipple and moaned softly.

"When you let me out of here Bella, Im going to wreak havoc on your body." I said frustrated.

"Oh I hope you do, Edward." She said seductively, "and Im going to love every minute of it."

She teased and toyed with me for what seemed like hours. I was beyond sexually frustrated, I was down right angry and aroused in the worst way. I growled angrily as she held me in this ridiculous shield when she began touching herself, where I wanted to touch her. When she ran her finger along my lips which were coated in her arousal I growled again while flicking my tongue along my lips to taste it, it was heavenly and all it did was encourage her to continue with this game.

"Tell me what you want to do to me Edward." She breathed. "Tell me what you want to do to my body." And she stood in front of me, so close I could feel her breath on my face when she looked up, but so far at the same time. I just couldn't move within her dam shield.

I was past niceties, I was past being the courteous gentlemen I usually was, and I was past speaking words of love to her. She had teased me, and enjoyed it while I was trapped in a shield with a painful erection and no where to stick it at this point of time. I just wanted her, and I wanted her now.

"I want to fuck you Bella. I want to fuck you hard, and I want to fuck you fast. I want to punish you just as you have being doing to me!" I was talking to her, I wasn't yelling. But it was somewhere in between those two.

Her eyes fluttered, and she shivered taking a giddy step backwards. Good. I hoped I would have that effect on her.

She leaned up to me and whispered in my ear, "then do it." And she dropped the shield, and my body feel free.

I grabbed her, and ran outside with her and threw her up against a tree, and buried my aching shaft inside of her. My eyes rolling back as the pleasurable feeling I felt at finally sinking myself into her moist depths.

"Oh god Edward." She moaned, as her grip on my shoulders tightened, and she lifted her legs around my waist.

"You like teasing me don't you?" I panted, as I drove into her. "Well this is what happens when you do that kind of thing. Im gonna fuck you senseless."

"Oh god yes." She moaned, arching back, giving me easier access to her beautiful breasts. I pinched her nipples, hard, as I pushed into her.

Bella pulled my hair as I thrust into her furiously, and I grunted and moaned as I pushed into my beautiful aroused wife. I held her hips in place as I thrusted into her hard. Bella moaning with every thrust I gave her.

I was close.

She was closer.

"Harder Edward!" she ordered, and pulled my hair even harder.

I growled and gave her everything I had, everything she wanted.

I felt her begin to clench around me, making my need to release almost instant.

"Oh…Shit…..Edward Im coming…" she moaned in delight.

As I felt her spurt of wetness surround my erection, I found my release, shuddering as I come inside of her as I bit down on her shoulder. Bella moaned, but from ecstasy not pain. My beautiful strong Bella.

Breathing hard, I lay slumped up against her, still holding her up against the tree. After a few minutes our breathing returned to normal. You would think we could just stop breathing when we wanted to, we didn't need to breathe anyway.

"That was amazing," Bella said quietly. "I like teasing you." She said then giggled.

I pulled her away from the tree and carried her inside the cottage.

"Im not so keen on being teased," I said, but she could tell by the smile on my face that all was forgiven. I laid her down on the bed, and I crawled up next to her. "How did you do that with the shield, you seemed to have better control now then you did earlier in the afternoon."

"I had an epiphany in the shower." She said matter of factly.

"Oh, and what was that?" I asked while kissing her shoulder.

"That my shield is like a bubble, like a soap bubble. I was washing my hair and could see all the bubbles. I guess it just kind of clicked with what Carlisle was saying. I just thought my orb shield is just like a bubble, it weighs nothing. If you're in my shield it shouldn't matter, because what Im really moving is the shield. Not the person in it. Im not sure if Im explaining myself right but that's what I mean."

I laughed, and kissed Bella on the forehead. "I know what you mean."

"It doesn't hurt to use it now; to lift you was very easy. With practice Ill understand my shields in no time at all." I could hear her smile in her voice, she was proud of her ehpihany as I was proud of her. I knew Bella was stubborn and determined; it wouldn't take long at all before she had her shields mastered. I just hoped she would never have the use for it. Even though Bella was more then capable of looking after herself, I did not like the idea of Bella in battle one little bit. It was a reality I would rather not deal with, ever.

"It wont take you long at all, my love" and I placed another kiss on her shoulder, and then another. I spent the rest of the night teasing and pleasuring my wife.

**

When the sun began to rise we decided to get out of bed. I laughed at Bella who was in the closet looking for something to wear.

"This is insane," she started, "Even if I live forever I don't think I would get through all these clothes!"

I chuckled, "just wait until the seasons change, this closet will get totally restocked."

"I believe you to," she said, "has she always been like this?"

"Yes of course," I answered, I walked to Bella and turned her to face me. "It gives her something to do, when you don't sleep and have forever you have to find something to keep you busy."

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess your right," she sighed, "But for now, you keep me busy." she smiled, and then turned to rummage through all the clothes to wear. I smiled to myself as I heard her mumbling about that the jeans she wore yesterday would still be clean but she would rather not hear Alice complain about wearing something two days in a row. I made my way to the front door where I waited for Bella before heading to the main house. She came out the room wearing jeans, which were similar to the ones she wore yesterday and a fitting long sleeved black shirt.

"Perfection." I breathed the words, she always looked amazing.

"Thanks" she said and smiled at me with her beautiful smile. She arranged a couple of the cushions on the couch, then turned to the coffee table and picked up the present from Aro.

"I forgot about this," she said looking at the present.

"Are you going to open it?" I asked

She shrugged, "may as well." And opened the box. I walked over to her, curious to see what the gift was.

It was a key, an old large skeleton type key, and it was gold, solid gold at that, encrusted with gems on the handle part of it.

"What's with the key?" I asked. It looked familiar to me, had I seen one like it before?

"I don't know," she said softly, she pulled the velvet material out the box that held the key and behind it on a small piece of paper was a perfectly written note.

_My dear Bella._

_This key is for when you come to visit me. It's for your own room at the residence of the Volturi. I look forward to seeing you one day._

_Aro_

I was shocked, dumfounded, and angry. I took the box from her hands, flipping it upside down and shaking it, thinking maybe I had missed something.

Bella just stood there shocked, holding the key in her hands.

"How did he know I would visit him?"

"He probably just guessed," I huffed angrily, and then I remembered about the key. I had heard about these kinds of keys. "But this key, this isn't any key to any room. This is a key that like the…top of the line vampires have. I've heard rumors over the years, but never seen one myself. Wait until Carlisle see's this. I can't believe he gave you a key, so arrogant to assume you would be going visit him, but Im even more surprised that you received a key like this."

"Well he won in the end, didn't he? I am going to visit him. I said I would. It may not be for many years, but I will have to go one day. He must have known one way or another I would visit him."

I growled. "Aro's just so sure of himself, its so…infuriating!"

She dropped the key on the coffee table, and placed a hand on my cheek forcing me to look at her. "Don't worry about it Edward, it's a long long way away yet. It's not something we have to deal with today."

I leaned my head into her hand, and breathed a sigh. "Your right, Im sorry."

She smiled, then turned away and picked up her phone and flicked it open.

"Ah shit." She groaned, I raised my eyebrows at her use of the word 'shit'. Use of foul language had almost become common use in the bedroom but other then that, neither of us rarely swore.

"What's wrong my love?" I asked.

"Charlie wants us to go around for dinner."

Were we ever going to get a day of no trouble? It didn't seem like it!


	32. Charlies not stupid

As Edward and I walked into the living room of the Cullen's family home, Alice clapped loudly and happily.

"Yes, fantastic, a buffet syle dinner is a fantastic idea. I have to tell Esme, we got so much to do before tonight."

My jaw had dropped open, and Edward gently closed my mouth chuckling at me.

"I hadn't decided anything yet Alice."

"Oh yes you have," she said smugly. "You know it's the easiest way to have dinner with Charlie without actually having dinner."

I sighed, the thought had crossed my mind.

"So," Alice continued, "Let Charlie know that dinner will be here tonight at 7."

I sighed again, in defeat. "Ok."

Edward passed me my phone, and I sent him a text informing dinner would be at the Cullen's at 7.

"You should invite Jacob and everyone to. More people means less chance of Charlie noticing that we don't eat." Alice said has she headed for the kitchen.

"Good idea." I called back, and sent a text off to Jacob that a feast was to be had at the Cullen's at 7. It would have to be a feast if we were to be feeding those wolf pack boys.

It wasn't long before I received a text from Charlie and Jacob saying that they would be here at 7. I was nervous about seeing my father in this state. Would he notice? Would he get angry? What could he say? What would he say? I decided to help Alice and Esme in the kitchen, but they shooed me away.

"Is something the matter my love?" Edward asked me.

"No….well yes. Im a little nervous about tonight." I replied.

I saw him frown. "Is being around Charlie, going to be a challenge for you Bella?"

"Oh no, not at all, Im not worried about that," and I saw Edwards stance relax. "Im more worried about what he say, surely he's going to notice Im different."

"Or maybe," Edward said pulling me gently towards him, "he'll just think your glowing and that married life suits you."

I shrugged. "Maybe, but I doubt it."

He leaned his forehead towards mine until they were touching. "It will be fine" he said to me. Staring into me with his beautiful amber eyes. I could get lost in those eyes.

"My eyes!" I gasped

"Wear some glasses," Edward suggested.

"At 7 in the evening, in forks, inside a house?" I asked him pulling my forhead away from his, he couldn't be serious.

"Just a suggestion" he said flatly.

"I know, I know. Im sorry." As I wriggled my way back into his arms again.

I had to admit I was worried. He was going to notice at some point that I wasn't ageing, and that I was never going to.

Maybe I should just tell him?

Don't be silly.

Would it be really that bad….. The Volturi would never find out. Not until I went and visited them and by then Charlie would have……..died.

I cringed at the thought. But being a vampire or not would not effect the natural path his life would take.

Maybe I should try pass as a human for now.

The girls has already shown me how to look human not long after I changed, to fidget, blink, sit down, all common sense things really, but that didn't shake the feeling of uneasiness that I had. As if Edward had been able to read my mind he tried to reassure me.

"You know, with all the wolf pack here he may not even notice. We'll get some contacts for you if you like, but you need to change them often, the venom in our eyes will dissolve them after a awhile."

"I suppose we could try that." I shrugged, feeling a little disheartned about the whole thing. "I guess if it doesn't work out I'll just have to tell him."

Edward looked at me shocked. "Why?"

"Charlies going to notice at some point that Im not aging Edward. I thought maybe I could fake my death and everything would be fine, but….I don't think I can do that to him. No parent should have to deal with a death, well fake death of a child."

"And he'll be pleased that instead of death you've chosen to become a vampire?" Edward said, there was a sarcastic edge to his tone. He wasn't happy.

I reached my hand to his cheek in attempt to calm him before this conversation possibly got out of hand. " I think, I would rather tell him, let him be angry, but then he still has the rest of his life to see me, and then when he passes I can attend his funeral like a real daughter would. Rather that then fake my death, and live the rest of his life in misery."

Edward was thoughtful for a moment, then he sighed. "You know in the end, I will always stand by whatever decision to make." And he kissed the palm of my hand that was still resting on his cheek.

***

I hadn't mentioned Aro's present to Carlilse yet. I decided that could wait, and Edward never brought it up either to my relief. We could deal with all the possible meanings behind the key another day. We had all of eternity to discuss that.

I'd spent most the day training again, while Edward sat and watched. I had told Edward he didn't have to sit and watch me all day but he said he was content to sit and watch . He truly made me feel so loved. I spent a good amount of time flying Emmett around in the orb at now a faster pace. Gone were the slow and jerky movements from yesterday. I really felt more in control today, and I was really enjoying my time practicing when we were interuppted my Alice.

"Hey!" she called. "Get ready, our guests will be arriving in half an hour."

I had no idea it was that late already.

"Im already ready!" I called back. "I can wear this, it will be fine."

"What? No way, go and change."

"Alice, its only my dad and the wolf pack. I seriously don't think I need to dress up for them."

"You could at least do your hair!" she called.

"My hair is fine Alice."

"But Bella.." she whined

"Fine!" I said stomping towards her, doing my best impression of a very annoyed vampire. "I will go do my hair, just to make my obsessive sister happy!"

She smiled, "Thank you, maybe you could throw on some accessories, a necklace wouldn't hurt."

"Right." I said as I made my way to the cottage, I had no intention of putting a necklace on.

When we were back at the cottage, Edward wrapped his arms around me. "I think you look beautiful right now. You don't need to do your hair."

"Thanks," I replied, "but Im just going to do it in a pony tail, and Im not even going to brush it, plus Im not going to wear a necklace."

Edward chuckled, and kissed me again. "Look at you my darling wife, defying Alice."

I giggled in return, and kissed him back…

**

So as it turned out, Alice was right. I did end up changing my outfit as Edward had ripped my clothes off me in attempt to get what he wanted faster. In return Edward had changed his clothes to, it would seem I was impatient myself.

I was dressed in almost similar clothes to earlier today, jeans and a fitted top. I chose a navy blue V neck, because I knew that was Edwards favourite colour on me. I guess I was a tease like that, and he told me so before we arrived at the house.

Jacob and Leah had already arrived, and were standing in the large living room with the large doors open to the backyard.

"Hey Bells, Edward." Jacob called.

"Hi guys." I replied.

"Hi Bella, Hi Edward." Leah said shyly.

Jacob put his arm around and gave her a reassuring squezze and she looked up and smiled.

I grinned in return, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Edward was smiling at them also.

The moment was interupped from what could only be described as a shriek of horror.

"What are you wearing Bella?" Alice asked.

I looked down at my attire. "You said change Alice, and so I have." I glanced at Leah and Jacob. "They are wearing jeans to Alice, so Im wearing mine to."

She frowned, "you could have worn one of your silk tops." She whined.

I put my arm on her shoulder, "next time I promise I will ok. Let me be comfortable for tonight please, its my first time seeing Charlie."

She sighed "Ok ok, just this once," she smiled, and I knew I was forgiven then she turn and gracefully bounced away to the kitchen again.

"It smells great." Jacob said.

"Does it?" I asked, I thought it smelled, kind of gross like rotten corn.

It was then we heard the car pulling into the driveway.

"Charlies almost here Bella," Edward said.

"OK, Ill just go the contacts."

"They are upstairs in our old bedroom. In the ensuite. Top drawer on the left."

"Ok"

I ran up to the bathroom, and pulled the contacts out of the top drawer there was quite a few sets in the drawer ready to use. I wondered when they had purchased them these for me. I would have to ask him later. I placed each contact in my eye, and looked at myself in the mirror.

I still didn't look like me, not really. My skin was paler then usual, the brown eyes helped, but my hair was shiner, healthier.. I guess I could pass it off as going to the hairsylist. Charlie may believe that.

I took a long deep breath, looked at myself in the mirror and turned to walk out. I could already hear Charlie talking to Edward downstairs.

"Speaking of the devil," I heard Edward say, "here she is now." and he pointed to me as I came down the stairs.

Charlie turned to look at me. I heard him gasp, but I tried to keep a straight face.

"Hey Dad!" I said cheerily, knowing he wouldn't miss the fact my voice was different.

"Bella.." It was almost like a question when he said my name.

I didn't hesitate when I went to hug him. "Thanks for coming tonight dad, Esme and Alice have been cooking up a storm. So I hope your hungry. How was your day?" I felt like if I kept talking he wouldn't ask anything I didn't want to him to ask.

He was staring at me, wide eyed with wonder. I knew that he knew something wasn't right, but I for one, wasn't going to bring it up.

"Dad?" I said, smiling at him.

He seemed to recover himself. "Well I had a good day, nothing really exciting going on at the station though. Yeah it smells great, I can't wait to eat. I even missed lunch knowing I was coming here for dinner." And he chuckled a little, at his own little joke.

There was a knock at the door, and then Seth followed by Jared, Quil and the rest of the wolf pack arrived.

"Those boys seem bigger everytime I see them." Charlie said. "Must be something in that water down La Push I think."

I laughed. "Could be true dad, could be true."

More like a wolf gene, I thought to myself.

The buffet idea was a great idea. Charlie was none the wiser that we didn't eat. Of course we all had helped ourselves to plate, but he didn't appear to notice that we would wander out onto the deck only to throw the food away, or slide our food quickly onto one of the wolf pack boys plate. He mingled happily within the Cullens and the Pack. I had to admit I was proud. Here he stood eating and laughing with real life mythical creatures and he had no idea. It didn't escape my notice that he was looking at me, a lot. I felt his eyes watching me as I went upstairs under the pretense of going to the bathroom, to put a new set of eye contacts in.

It was well into the evening when some of the wolf pack had started to leave. Jacob and I battled out on guitar hero, while Carlisle, Charlie and Edward sat at the kitchen table talking. I would catch glimpses at Charlie, he looked happy, which in turn made me happy.

Unfortunately for me, being a vampire didn't seem to make my skills at guitar hero superhero like. I still seemed as good as I was before I was turned, as I lost another round to Jacob. I clamied it was because I was distracted by the fact that Charlie was here.

"Whatever!" Jacob retorted. "I think someone," he emphased someone as he pointed at me, "is a big fat sore loser!" and he started to laugh.

"Am not." I retorted. Fighting the urge to scare him shitless by lifting him with my shield.

"Now now you two." Charlie interuppted. "Im going to head off Bells, thanks for a lovely evening."

"No problem dad, hey ill walk you out." And I lifted the guitar off over my head and passed it to Edward, who challenged to Jacob to a game.

"Your on, paleface." He said cheekily.

Charlie said his goodbyes to the rest of the family and we headed out to the car, as soon as the front door shut I felt the feeling of that awkward silence begin.

"So uh, youll come again for dinner another night?" I asked.

"Yeah sure thing Bells, that was great…..uh….yeah."

"Is something wrong dad?" I asked, knowing full well, I think I knew what was wrong.

"No….yeah….No not really" he turned around abrubtly and looked at me. "Its just….well….. I think marriage life suits you Bells." he blurted out.

"Oh uh thank you dad." I said looking down.

"I know theres something….different about you….maybe Im just being ignorant of what's right in front of me, but I'm not stupid."

"Of course not dad!" I almost yelled, how dare he think hes stupid.

"But let's just say maybe oneday you'll tell me what really is going on here. I promise I will understand Bella. Just…..dont disappear on me ok."

My eyes flew to his face, this is what I had dreaded, I knew I could never just leave him, and pretend to be dead.

"I promise dad, I wont leave you and yes one day when your ready I will tell you, everything."

He led out a long breath. "Good, this is good," he seemed to be telling himself this more then he was telling me. "I can tell you are happy Bella, and that's all that really matters to me."

I smiled, a large happy, I love you dad smile.

"Well I'll see you another time kid." And he turned back to his car and opened the door. He paused for a minute before getting into the vehicle and looked at me, "by the way, I think your contacts fell out." He smiled, climbed into his car and drove off. While I stood stuck to the driveway with my mouth open in shock.

I didn't move until Edward was beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "Everything will be fine Bella."

"Alice has already seen it hasnt she?" I asked, my voice barely louder then a visitor.

He simply nodded, and held me tighter.

Maybe I was a monster, maybe I wasnt. But in the end I was living the dream. I had the love of my life forever and now it seemed I could have my father in my life also.


	33. Best Christmas

Epilogue – Christmas.

I think this may well be the best Christmas I had ever had.

I had Edward, I had the Cullen's, I had my best friend Jacob and I had Charlie.

A few months had passed since Charlie's first had dinner here, and now he visited often. Usually after work, and just like Jacob, there was always something for him to eat when they arrived. Esme made sure of that. She thoroughly enjoyed cooking and preparing her meals. I had vague memories of food, and a lot of what Esme made looked fantastic, but smelled disgusting.

But today was our first Christmas together, as an entire family. Jacob and Billy Black included. The rest of the wolf pack was to be joining us later in the afternoon for the feast that had been prepared. The Wolf pack was more then comfortable visiting the Cullen's, and they just couldn't turn down the food. Even Paul had got comfortable enough to walk into the kitchen and help himself to the fridge. Esme thought of them as her extended family, buying them shorts and shoes when they would turn up bare foot with dirty ripped shorts. At first they felt like charity cases, but they soon warmed to Esme and realize she was just trying to help in her own motherly way.

Charlie now knew what I was, and I was sure, he would run screaming when he found out, but he didn't. He took it quite well actually. It was actually Billy and Jacob who started the whole thing off. Charlie suspected something was up, but he hadn't thought of mythical creatures being what I was. Of course he would confide in Billy that he thought something was different about me. He wasn't worried or anything, just knew something was different. Ultimately he knew I was happy, changed or not, and I guess that's what really mattered to him.

Apparently Billy wasn't so forthcoming with explanations, suggesting lame things like I had red eye contacts, and decided to brush my hair. Silly suggestions like that. It was Jacob in the end that let the wolf out the bag. He didn't see what the big deal was with not telling Charlie. He couldn't straight out say to Charlie what he was, but he could show him, and that he did.

Jacob said Charlie didn't even bat an eyelid when he phased in front of him, instead he muttered something along the lines of, "and I thought there was something in the water." Billy wasn't too pleased with his son at first, but in the end conceded that it was only a matter of time before Charlie would have found out.

It didn't take Charlie long after that to figure out what I was after that, why Billy Black was none to pleased when the Cullen's first came back to Forks. All Charlie did was ask himself, why a pack of werewolves would not like the Cullen's, and everything clicked into place in his mind. He had claimed it was Hollywood movies, of all things that made him realize what the Cullen's were so quickly.

He decided he didn't want to know the mechanics of it. He just wanted to accept me as a vampire, and that was all he wanted to know. I did tell him though I didn't feed on humans and neither did any of the Cullen's. It was important for him to know that, and he seemed more then relieved at that prospect.

My eyes had lost its red color and were now a lovely butterscotch color. That fact pleased me to no end, this color seemed more natural then red, and with Charlie knowing what I was, I didn't bother with contacts when he visited.

The rest of the wolf pack had started to visit more. At first they would tag along with Jacob, but now they would arrive on their own. Paul and Emmett got along like a house on fire. They'd even had wrestling matches, which was always fun to watch. Jacob and Leah were kind of together. They never confirmed it to anyone but the two of them were always together. I never had the chance to give him a bit of stick about it because she was always with him. She had also warmed to our constant presence in her life. She was still a little bit shy, but she was getting there. Sam and Carlisle could talk for hours on end about anything from the weather to the inner workings of the wolves mind, quite often they would disappear to Carlisle's office and spend all day in there talking, sometimes Jasper would join the both of them.

There had been no visits from any other nomad vampires, so it was all very peaceful in Forks. I had not seen Angela, or Jessica, or anyone else for that matter. I had received a few emails from Angela and I had replied, she was off to college. I had told her Edward and I were taking the year off, to travel. That was what our story was to outsiders. Angela thought I was so lucky, and wanted me to send photos through as often as possible, I hadn't mentioned to however that I was still in Forks, and didn't actually have any idea whatsoever when I would start traveling, and I wondered if she would notice if all the photos I would send when I eventually traveled would be taken at night, or on a overcast day. Here I was worrying about photos in the dark, when she would most likely notice my lack of aging.

"Love?" Edwards's velvet voice interrupting my train of thought.

"Huh?" I responded, and he chuckled.

"Everyone is here." He said

"And its time for presents!!" Alice's voice said loudly. We all made our way slowly to the living area. The Wolf pack, Charlie and The Cullen's. Alice had done an amazing job with the Christmas tree. It was huge and decorated in blue and silver. There was presents galore under it, and it didn't go unnoticed that the wolf pack suddenly felt uncomfortable. They hadn't realized they would be receiving presents, and they knew the Cullen's were extremely generous. I had yet to get the urge to shop like Alice did, and I soon discovered she knew no bounds when it came to Christmas present shopping. Edward and I had come up with out own idea for a present for Jacob, while Alice had taken full responsibility for everyone else's presents, including Charlie. I had no clue what she had brought him and suddenly realized maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let Alice pick it up.

Alice went around handing out presents to everyone, and the wolf pack were grateful but were embarrassed with all the gifts they supplied. Boxes and boxes of Nike running shoes, and boxes of stylish denim shorts. It only took at least 10 minutes and the boys were arguing over what styles they wanted. I couldn't help but giggle at them. Leah made no secret of the fact she was glad she was girl in the pack, she didn't have to share her shoes or shorts with anyone, plus she got shirts to.

Next was Charlie's present, and even though like me he hated being centre of attention, there was no hiding the fact he loved his present. A fish finder, how appropriate for him.

There were regular presents for the Cullen boys, games, hi tech toys that I don't even know the purpose for which they were made for. It was incredibly hard to buy for people who already seemed to have everything, so the best you could do was buy the latest thing out that they hadn't brought already, and even then that didn't leave much you could get the Cullen's. Alice received earrings from Jasper, and she loved them, she already knew she would. Emmett gave Rosalie some little outfit that she quickly hid away before even we had a glimpse of it, but we all heard her hand slap across the back of Emmett's head and we all roared with laughter at his expression.

Edward and I had not bothered with presents; I had made him promise me not to get anything for me. I had already received enough, a house, the Volvo and most importantly, him. What more could I want or even deserve. But we had decided to do something special for Jacob. If it was not for him our relationship may have fallen apart all because of not communicating.

Jacob was arguing with Paul over who's Nikes would make them faster, when we walked over to him.

"No, I really do think these shoes are made for speed," he said jokingly, then pointed at Paul's "while yours are made for comfort." He had started laughing.

"Think you're so funny, don't you." Paul said, but he was smiling at Jacob.

"I don't think Im funny Paul…..I know Im funny." He replied, still laughing.

"You being a comedian again are you?" I said to him as we came closer to him.

He just turned and winked at me. He looked so happy, I didn't know if it was Leah or something else, but he was that old happy Jacob again. This Jacob was in a good place in his life and I only hoped that Edward and I could help with that.

"We've got you a little something Jacob, from Bella and myself. It may seem a little extreme at the moment but we think you deserve this."

"Oh" Jacob said his face suddenly serious.

Edward spoke a little quieter now, even though we all knew everyone could hear us anyway, but maybe they were too distracted with their own presents to worry about our conversation.

"It's our way of saying thank you," he looked down at me, and put his arm around me pulling me closer to him.

"Thank you for?" Jacob looked confused.

"Thank you for giving us our forever Jacob. If it wasn't for you, well, I don't even want to think about what may have happened." And I felt his arm tighten around me.

"No big deal." Jacob said.

"Yes it is a big deal Jake," I said. "Well it is to us, it's a huge deal. You gave us our forever, so wed like to give you something to help with your forever, well maybe you won't be around forever but maybe this can help with that. Like, you can leave it to your children one day or something."

"Bella? What are you talking about?" Jacob looked totally lost, so I placed the plain white envelope in his hand.

"This better not be money." Jacob growled.

"Its not." Edward promised.

We watched quietly as Jacob opened the envelope and read the contents, he looked at Edward and I, then back at the papers, then back at us.

"You brought me a mechanic shop?" he stuttered.

"Yes, but its empty at the moment, and its kind of rundown, and its in serious need of doing up but its yours Jacob. We can help get it cleaned up, it won't take long. Maybe you don't want to open it now, maybe you want to leave it for when your settled down." I spoke quickly now, trying to get everything out I wanted to say before he spoke again. "You can even employ Rosalie, she's a good mechanic, and Alice has already volunteered to do the books, which you know she is good at. You've got the talent to really make yourself known as a good mechanic Jake, and it's in a good spot in the industrial area of Port Angeles, and you know one day you could leave it to your children."

Jacob stood staring at Edward and I. I hoped I didn't say too much, and I hoped he would like it. Alice was all for renovating the place before we gave it to Jacob, but I didn't see that going over well. I was hoping that giving Jacob a workshop that needed work would make him feel better about the whole situation.

"Say something." I said to Jacob. He didn't look mad.

"Im speechless." He whispered.

"That's got to be a first." Rosalie called out.

"A simple thank you will suffice." Edward said smiling, obviously answering his thoughts.

"Thank you" Jacob stuttered, "Thank you, it's too much, Im overwhelmed, but thank you so much Edward, Bella. I….I… really don't know what to say."

"A hug will do then." I said, and within a second Jacob was hugging Edward and me. When he stood back he had tears in his eyes.

"Are you going to cry Jacob Black?" Edward mocked him.

"No" he retorted as he wiped his eyes, "just your stink made my eyes water." He said smiling.

"Oh go on, I think maybe you smelled yourself." Edward replied chuckling.

Jacob smiled, then his face was serious again, his dark eyes twinkled though, with excitement. "Seriously though, thank you for this. It means so much to me to receive this; my mind is already planning how I want things to look at MY work shop. This is amazing. I could never thank you enough."

"Saying thank you and accepting our gift was more then enough." I told him.

"Ok ok, now let's eat!!!" Alice's voice chimed. "Paul's stomach is growling, and I tell you what, it's not a pretty sound!"

Now that Charlie was aware of what we were we made no attempt to pretend to eat, we simple mingled with the people eating. Everyone was impressed, like always, with the food prepare.

"Fantastic" Charlie had said.

"Some good shit," Paul had told everyone, had he stuffed his mouth.

"Awesome," Seth said as he got stuck into his 3rd helping.

The rest of the day went fast, in between snacking on leftovers, playing Emmett's new games, and with the new gadgets it was late evening before we knew it.

Billy Black had headed off earlier with a large tray of leftovers, which no doubt Jacob would go home and eat. Most of the wolf pack and left, Leah and Jacob included, as he left we could hear him suggesting names for his workshop while Leah told him they were lame, or had game. I laughed when I heard her say that to Jacob. Sam was upstairs with Carlisle again; Paul and Emmett were having challenges on some new game, while Esme and Alice tidied the kitchen. Rosalie was out in the garage putting some new piece in her car that she brought herself for Christmas. Edward and I said our good nights and made our way to the cottage.

"Did you have a nice first Christmas?" he asked as we walked towards our cottage.

"The best." I said, I couldn't hide my happiness.

"I do wish I could have got you a gift my love." He said quietly.

"Maybe next year," I suggested. "You've already give me so much this year."

He sighed, he would disagree with me, always saying I had got it the wrong way around and it was I who had given him everything.

"Don't disagree with me Edward, not tonight, its still Christmas."

He turned and smiled at me, my favourite smile. "Merry Christmas Bella." He said, and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Merry Christmas Edward," I replied, kissing him back.

"You know since I didn't give you a present, I do feel kind of bad." He kissed me on the cheek, "I was thinking maybe I could be your gift tonight, and you could unwrap me." He kissed my other cheek then looked at me, his smile was amazing, his eyes twinkling mischeiviously.

"Well Mr. Cullen that I could do. I think I like Christmas, it could be Christmas everyday if I could unwrap you everyday, everyday of forever. It would be perfect"

"Our Forever." He whispered, and took me in his arms.

"Sounds perfect" I said back, already losing myself in his eyes. "I couldn't ask for anything more." and with that, I picked him off the ground, laughed at his shocked face as I ran with him to the cottage so i could unwrap him....

**

So that's the end of this particular story. I know its a abit of an abrupt ending but I didnt really know how else to end it and move on to the next story of their life. My next story is set in the future. It didn't seem right to set up a whole other story set in the future within in this one.


End file.
